20 Month Old Not Talking

Updated on February 24, 2007
K.K. asks from Massapequa, NY
21 answers

Hi all. My youngest child is 20 months old and does not really talk. He says a handful of things. He can say DaDa and Ma and his older brothers name and maybe about four other words. I dont know if this is normal or not!! My oldest was talking at a VERY early age and she is very advanced and my middle child has Asperger's and was delayed(but even he said more at this point). The doctors do not even want to consider that he could have the same problems as my middle boy because he is too young right now. I do not really have anything "normal" to compaire it to. The pediatrician isnt much help either. He keeps telling me to wait untill my son is two before I do anything. I am affraid if I wait to long it is going to be come a real problem. My son does not have a problem getting his point across tho. He certainly makes sure we figure out what he wants. I do talk to him and tell him what things are and such but it isnt helping, he does not even attempt to copy what we say. I do hope someone has some ideas on how I can get him to start speaking more.

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K.F.

answers from Rochester on

My son was not much of a talker at that age either. Boys language development is typically slower than girls. Around 2 years and later he started talking much more. If you are noticing any improvements in speach I wouldn't be overly worried at this point but if it presists after 2 I would push for the pediatrician to do something. Personally I think that 2 is very early intervention. I forced my son to try and tell me what he wanted before I would give it to him... a little tough love I guess. But he really started talking more. My son is a chatter box now.

H.V.

answers from Jamestown on

I've heard this is normal, for the youngest child. Sometimes the older kids or other kids will play, "caregiver" and take so well care of the younger child, that they dont' need to talk much.

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M.R.

answers from New York on

Hi Kristen,

I too was afraid of the same thing with my son, he will be two next month, I have a daughter who is 3-1/2 and she started talking when she was 1 year old. My son up until recently was only saying one word "sentences" and I was very worried about his development. The doctor's did not seem worried as well. Within the past 3 months his vocabulary and personality has changed drastically. In such a short period of time his words and pronunciation has improved so much. What really helps him (and he thinks it's fun) is that my daughter teaches him words to say, like say "Dora" and then he repeats it. Anyway as I'm sure you know all kids develop at a different stage, so just give him some time I'm sure he will come around.

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C.G.

answers from New York on

I just posted a request very similar to yours. My son says about 5 words, but nothing much beyond that. I guess i'm on the right path now, seeing your responses as well! I called the other day to have someone come over to evaluate him in another couple weeks after that. ok. i guess he's a little behind, but not doing bad either. glad to know i'm not the only one!

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K.O.

answers from Utica on

Hi K., I have 3 boys, 4, 2, and 6 months. My oldest was saying everything at 19 months. He was very verbal, easy to understand, and had a very large vocabulary. So it was difficult for me when at 18 months old my 2nd child said only dada and ball. I mentioned it to my pediatrician. She wasn't concerned, said it was probably his personality, or because he was the 2nd child, or that his older brother did everything for him. I knew something was wrong, I insisted on a rewferral for a speech evaluation. I was then referred to Early Intervention. EI sent a Speech Thereapist, Physical Therapist, and an RN right to my home. They evaluated my son, and his comprehension was fine, but his expressive speech tested at the level of a 13 month old. We were lucky, because they unfortunately combine the test scores for expressive languange and language comprehension, and his combined score was too high, and he did not qualify for Early Intervention Services, BUT the RN and Speech Therapist discussed it, and the RN overuled his score, and 4 weeks later he began FREE speech therapy 2X a week in our home. He is now 2yrs and 9 months old, and he just tested at 3yrs 9 month for comprehension and 3yrs 7 months for expressive, but only 2yrs 0 months for articulation. So he is still receiving speech therapy once a week, and we are working on making his speech clearer. So my advice is to insist that your pediatrician refer you to Early Intervention, or call yourself, they provide FREE speech therapy, and will begin before the age of 2.
Once we started meeting with a speech therapist, I started teaching my son some sign language (more, all done, milk, juice, open), and he picked it up fast. Then I took a coffee can, and we decorated it with stickers, and I put pictures in it,(ball, book, bed, bear etc.) and made a game of him looking at the pictures,saying the word, then putting the picture in the can. This rote method of repeating the same picture words over and over again really worked with him. Also, I switched him from a sippy cup to a straw cup, and a regular cup, to help improve his oral motor skills. He couldn't blow a bubble, or blow a whistle. So we practiced that too. He drooled a lot. Every morning his pillow case had to be changed. He is doing much better now. No more drooling, he is talking, and is doing wonderfully.
We also had his hearing checked, which is difficult at such a young age. But what we did find is that he has fluid behind his eardrum, so after 3 hearing tests, my Pediatrician prescribed flonase, so we are waiting it out to see if we can clear up the fluid behind his eardrum, and get a more accurate hearing evaluation. So have your son's hearing checked too.
Even though you said you don't know what "normal" is, trust your instincts. Moms know their children better than dr.s do! Good Luck!

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K.B.

answers from Buffalo on

Hello. My 18 month old is also not talking. He does say Mama and dada, but no more. We are currently teaching him some basic sign language. Our pediatrician recommeded we bring in early intervention and begin speech therapy with him. I personally highly recommed it. We had to meet with 2 spec. ed teachers, who came to our home and did an evaluation to see if he was behind enough in his speech to be able to recieve the intervention. He was, and we are now waiting for the paperwork to be done so he can start the therapy. They come to our home once a week for 6 months, and if more is needed after that, then they will add more days. He will be re-evaluated every 6 months. I am looking forward to being able to communicate with him easier, and I am sure he is too. His pediatrician is amazing.She helped up to realize that as upset as we get becasue we can't understand him, It must be 5 times worse for him. He does know how to get our attention to get what he needs, but words would help. He is a very intelligent child, understands everything we tell him, and during the eval, many of his motor skill are at the 24 month age level. All the therapy is covered by insurance and if you don't have any, the county does pay for it in full. It would never hurt to get another opinion. I wish you luck...as it seems we are in the same position. I also have a 9.5 year old daughter at home and 4.5 months pregnant with #3. Good luck!!

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B.R.

answers from Rochester on

i have found that boys are just slower to do things. ie talking and potty. as in girls are trying to talk in short sentances by 18 mo and still trying to get boys to say more than cup at 24mo. i just keep making my son repeat what he wants. ie cup. i say what do you want in the cup? juice of milk? juice! i say juice please? give sip juice! i say juice please mommy? juice please mommy! give him the cup till finished and then repeat after next cup! till you get the sentance you are happy with.. i have done this with him on other things toys me whatever. it works.... keep in mind he is your youngest and everyone is use to doing everything for him, make him ask first, that includes your older children.....

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K.D.

answers from New York on

It is normal for a LOT of kids at that age. I have one now who's 26 months old and has been talking fairly well since she was about 18 months old. I am a member of an online group of mothers who's babies were all due in December of 2004, so I'm in contact with about 30 ladies who have babies all my girl's age. My daughter and ONE other girl were the first two to talk well... and of our group of about 30 babies, some still were not talking aside from Mama and Dada until they were right around their second birthday! So your son is definitely normal, maybe at the lower end of normal, but definitely within the normal age! Of 30 kids, by 20 months old, I remember there were still quite a few who only said a handful of words!

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K.G.

answers from New York on

It is not uncommon for the youngest in the family to not speak more than a few words at this age. Your daughter was speaking a lot because she only had you and your husband to listen to, and even if you weren't speaking to her, she was listening to every word you guys said. If your other children seem to be speaking for your 20 mth old, ask them to stop and explain to them that they are not helping him learn to speak. You can ask them to help him learn new words. Also, DO NOT give him what he wants until he atleast attempts to tell you exactly what he wants with words and not by pointing or yelling. He's old enough now to understand that he has to start using "big boy" words. Keep showing him things and telling him what they are. I don't know if you do this, but read to him all the time. That helped my son speak, but I don't base any child on my son because at 20 months he was using words like hysterical, in the correct way in a full sentence(he's an only child).

I hope I was of some help.

K.

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J.P.

answers from Rochester on

Hello K.,
Have you tried contacting early intervention? We had an evaluation of our son with the same problems when he was 18 months old. They came to our home and did an evaluation of him by just asking questions and playing with toys and talking to him. If they find that he is indeed delayed, they will set up a schedule to meet with you and your son to work on language development and other areas that he might need help in.

Best of luck,
J.

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G.M.

answers from New York on

My son, who is now 5 (and doesn't ever stop talking!), was a full 2 years old when he started talking. He wouldn't even say da or ma. I was ready to get his hearing checked. My pediatrician reminded me that my daughter (who is now 8) was an early talker..she used to talk for my son. He had no reason to talk, because there was always someone around that would know what he wanted. My doc also said that boys are usually later when it comes to talking and that it should not be a concern until they are well into their 2's.
Best of luck and if you have any other questions, you can ask. I am always happy to help others.
G. (mom of 2- ages 8 and 5)

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A.W.

answers from New York on

Hi Kristen!!! I have a 16 month old who doesn't talk much either only a few words..the pediatrician said it's totally normal especially with boys!! My older son is 8 so he definitely does all the talking. I wanted to tell you I read in a magazine last month that it is more important that they express their feelings and understand what you are saying than the fact of which they talk or not...if he can understand when you say go get the ball or pick up your bottle...most of the common questions than he is perfectly fine! I think this world expects way too much of these kids these days! Trust me, once he starts talking you will be telling him to be quiet!!LOL GOOD LUCK!!! love to all xoxo

A.B.

answers from New York on

First I would get a HELPFUL pediatrician and I would find a Birth to 3 development center. PAT Parent as teachers has a great resource of centers and programs all over the country. They should test your son to see if there are any developmental delays and offer to you excersises that you can do at home to encourage his speech. But as I advided another mom, boys sometime take longer. But I strongly encourage Birth to 3 and you can even get the service FREE of charge.
GOOD LUCK!!

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B.M.

answers from New York on

Hi, I have four great kids. 23, 20, 16 and 12. My 16 year old is autistic/asperger's. You probably know this already and just need someone else to say it. You can't get a diagnosis until 24 months. I don't know why that's the magic number but it is. If you are getting sounds and some words that's a great plus. He could possibly be delayed and when he does start speaking it will be a tidal wave. Having one child with aspergers already you know that sometimes delayed speech can be an indication of aspergers. Please don't torture yourself for the next four months. Try the things you already know. Encourage speech as much as possible. Try with holding something to get a certain sound. Make a game out of it. I know that I was a little apprehensive with my daughter who is 12. I kept looking for "signs" of autism. She's fine. Doing great in school and lovely. You have reason to be concerned but don't be ruled by it. Four months is not that long a time to wait. In those four months you may be pleasantly surprised by his development.

Good luck.

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D.S.

answers from Albany on

(original post 2-16)
We are in NY and could have had Speech Therapy much sooner (than age 2). I would push for the Early Intervention evaluation. Contact your county childrens' services or equivalent. Your school district could tell you who to call, too. I should have had my daughter in as an infant but didn't until she was 2 because the Dr. kept saying to wait. Idiot! I take her to Shriners Childrens' Hospital in Springfield, MA and at 4 months they suggested Early Intervention due to her cleft lip. (We are still deciding whether to switch Doc....) You are your child's best advocate. Be a pain in the butt if need be!

Note added days later:
I understand how an older sibling can speak for the younger. I did that with my brother. My mom STILL suspected there was something wrong and it took until he was 5 before she could convince Drs to look further and find the fluid in his middle ear AND the fact he could hardly hear anything! ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR MOM INSTINCTS!!! Nothing wrong with being cautious.

Now, as for my jumping too soon to put my younger daughter in Early Intervention:
She was born with a cleft and we HAD TO check other things! We are STILL checking other things like genetics. Her older sister couldn't possibly be talking for her; she's 24 and moved out 4 years ago. This has NOTHING to do with Courtney being a second child.

K., just trust your gut no matter what any of us says. I only wanted to point out that Drs can be wrong. They see our kids for 10-20 mins. how often?? YOU are Mom!

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D.M.

answers from New York on

Hi Kristen,
Don't wait! My oldest now 2 1/2 starting receiving developmental therapy (they don't give speech at this young age) at around 20 months. He was like your son not saying many words, pointing and using baby babble, and like your son he made sure we figured out what he wanted. My pediatrician caught it at his 18 month well visit and suggested we have him evaluated. I don't know where you are in NJ, but I can give you my pediatrican's number (they are in Marlboro). They are wonderful, even my sons therapists have said that it is amazing how they caught his delay so early, that most dr.s want to wait until they are 2. Anyway, if you are concerned having him evaluated is free and done by the state. I met some really nice people and even if he does not qualify, they can give you some advise on how to help him. My son has had therapy for almost a year and he is up to age level and speaking in sentences. It's amazing. Let me know if you need any contact information. Go with your mommy instinct, you know your son the best.
Best of Luck to you.
D.

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T.K.

answers from Albany on

Kristen~

I went thru the same thing with my son. He is now 3 years old and talk up a storm. I questioned his doctor about it. All the doctor had to do was point to my daughter, who is 15 months older. She did all the talking for him. I hope you find this true for your son also. Once my daughter started Pre-K he had no choice to talk. We wouldn't give him anythign until he at least made an attempt to say it.

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D.S.

answers from Rochester on

I think you just wait and keep doing what you are doing. when he is 2 you can call early intervention in your state. I think it is called first steps. They will eval and everything.
My grandson is 24 months and does not talk much at all either. Boys are much slower than girls. I have heard of other children that did not talk much until older. try not to worry too much.

C.

answers from Hartford on

I agree with the mom that said don't wait. Call Early Intervention - it is free & there is no harm in treating the problem without having a diagnosis. That is, speech therapy is tailored to the individual no matter what the official diagnosis. It is so much easier to get a child on the right path at this age then if you wait until they have fallen farther behind. It sounds like he just needs help using words to communicate. What you may want to try is not giving him waht he wants until he tries using words for it. For example, if he wants cookies, show him the cookies and tell him to use his words & model it for him: tell him to say, "I want cookies." Of course he will not say this at first, but even at the smallest attempt to communicate with words reward him. Just keep modelling language for him and be patient. Finally, although much easier said than done, you may want to find a new pediatrician. I am willing to bet that if it were their own child they would not play the wait & see game.

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M.P.

answers from Albany on

I do not want to offend all those who suggested getting your child evaluated or into early intervention, but I am a special education teacher and I am going to tell you that this is completely normal - especially for a younger child!!! I also have a 20 month old son. He is the oldest and only says a few words, but I am really not worried. This is soooo young to be worried. While I am a strong advocate for early intervention when it is really needed, I would not suggest it just yet for your son. It would be different if he were not communicating at all, in which case of course I would suggest getting an eval. However, if he is making any attempt at all to let you know what he wants and show that he recognizes the important people in his life, he is showing an interaction with and interest in the world around him.

I would suggest possibly teaching him a few basic signs to help him communicate before he is ready to speak. My son only says mama, dada, dee (for his brother Kaden), nana, ball, baby, and animal sounds. However, he signs "more", "please", "thank you", "help", "sorry", and "all done". These signs help him say much more than he is able to communicate verbally. Although I certainly wish he were speaking more and I encourage it every day, I am not going to have him evaluated unless he is not speaking at 2 1/2 - and my pediatrician agrees to this age.

I hope this was a little bit helpful.
Good luck
M.

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