20 Month Old Has Meltdown When Its Dad's Turn to Do Bedtime

My older son (3) wants me to put him to bed most of the time, too. He's kinda a Mama's Boy for certain things, but needs Dad for others. Really, what we've done for a long time with him is to ask him who he wants to do something with (when it's not a big deal). We ask him every night who he wants to brush teeth with, read books with, etc. That way, we feel that we are giving him some control of the situation and I think he likes that.

What I have found to help Jacob get used to Dad for bedtime is me being gone. Both DH and I think it's important for us to have some adult time with our friends/family alone. I play softball one night a week and usually go to dinner with someone like 2-3 times a month. If you have to, maybe you can run some errands right before bedtime and not be around. Have Dad find a special book that only HE reads or have Dad sing a song that only HE sing..whatever. Just so that Dad's time is unique and fun. Eventually, your son will be ok with it.

But, really, there are just certain things that I'm preferred for (bedtime is one of them) and other things that our son wants Dad for (playing baseball!).

Good luck.

T.

Both my children, boy and girl, at that age, up to about 3 years old, liked me better during certain routines, especially bed time. It doesn't mean that my husband and I didn't alternate routines, my husband really just had to accept that there were certain times that the kids wanted mommy. Just keep working through it and being persistent, without (hubby) getting angry. I know there were times it upset him. He would resent not feeling as important at certain times. And.....Sorry! but it wasn't going to happen that our children were going to RUN to him when they needed a band-aide or a kiss on their boo boo either! It became easy to attack me by using "mommy's girl" AND "mommy's boy". (knowing I hate playing favorites!) My children are 13 (girl) and 10 (boy) and, although it hasn't taken that long, we play two very different roles in our children's lives, however, our children need both of us - just not always in the same way. I still have the bed time routines and my husband is big with the breakfast routine...we just had to find what we were good at when it came to caring for our kids. Funny how that has worked out! (And yes....my daughter has found that "daddy" is much more fun to shop with...go figure!) Good luck!

Hey Stephaniei I am a mom of 3 girls and a 23 month old boy. My son says "I'm mamma's boy!" and is quite clingy. We have to often ignore it due to the demands of other children. He screams whenever I keave him with dad or anyone else-but it is short lived. I personally think kids need to learn to cope with an adult leaving (flashforward to preschool) If a kid learns screaming gets him what he wants he will continue to use that tactic. If I feel bad a decide to come in and take over I always make sure he calms down (while still with dad and says "Mommy please" in a nice voice if he wants to come to me- so hopefully he will connect kindness with getting his way. I don't remember going through quite so much drama with 2 of my girls but my second daughter was also clingy- and tonight she was at a sleepover (she is 7) So know this will pass!
Good Luck
Beth

I am currently experiencing this with my 29 month old daughter when my husband puts her to bed. We have two young ones and my husband and I alternate putting each child to bed every other night. We refuse to give into her, even though throws a tantrum on Daddy's night. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice. I'm hoping it's just a phase in which my daughter is testing us to see how much she can influence our behavior.

I know how unnerving it is to hear the tantrums -- you are not alone! I look forward to reading other Mom's advice.