2 Yr Old with a Very Strong Will...

Hi M.! I also have a strong willed 2 year old. And like you I hope that he will use that strong will for great things later in life. We have been using the 1-2-3 Magic program with him. He has responded quickly and with a positive outcome. The book is by Thomas W. Phelan. Thought that I would pass that along. Take care!

Ahh.. My now 8 yr old is this way as well as my 4 yr old (half of a twin set). In public places we would stop right where we were and get to their level and talk to them. Sometimes they just want to be listened to. After telling "their story" I would tell them that asking is how we act and yelling, throwing tantrum, etc... is only going to end in getting into trouble. The fewer words you use to tell them something is better, be blunt! After so many words they are onto something else at this stage in their life. As for home I let mine "help" out in many things, trying to teach them responsibility, but this helps many situations where they get angry if they feel they are being "ignored". This way they are busy with their big girl/boy job! I wish you the best as she matures her outbursts will be less if you stay consistent in your structure/punishment.

My 6 year old daughter did the same thing at this age. What worked for us was to pick her up, move her to her bedroom, and close the door. No words, just actions. If we were in public, we would simply leave. It was inconvenient at times, but it didn't take too long for her to realize that this was not getting her what she wanted. We used the same thing when she would throw a tantrum, so there was consistency. My daughter is now extremely well behaved, and has an awesome personality, so apparently, it didn't hurt!! :)

Hope this helps!

My 3 year old is very strong will. There are a few things I have done with my children (I have a 5 year old also) since they were very small to help them stay calm or calm down. First thing, a child can not cry and take a deep breath a the same time. I have taught my children to take a deep breath when they are crying. It calms them and me, most importantly they stop crying. Second thing, kids don't understand patience (the wait a minute factor) and time, however they do understanding counting. Example when my children want something now, I encourage them to count and by the time they reach 25 (or whatever the magic number is) they will have the thing they are waiting for. This serves two purposes, one my children have been able to count since they have been able to talk and also they use this to share toy time. When they both want the same toy, one plays while the other count to 50 and then it's the other person's turn.

Hope this helps.

Ok, you know that every child is different. First of all, you cannot give a 2-yr-old too many choices, so asking her what shoes she wants to wear is a bad idea. Giving her a choice between 2 pairs is ok. I used time-out in the corner, removal from the area, diversion techniques. Just wait until she's 3. It gets worse.

There is a very good book called the Strong willed Child. By James Dobson.)Sp?)

Shepherding a Child's Heart is a great book, also the book "Parenting is Not For Cowards" is another great one. You just have to remember that you are in control, ultimately your daughter wants to have the security from knowing that mom is in charge. You must remain calm even in the midst of her tantrums... speak firmly, but calmly. Always follow through with what you say you are going to do. For example, if your daughter sees some candy in the grocery store aisle that she wants and you say No, you can't have it. Be ready and willing to follow through with that decision. If you say No at first and then finally give in and give her the candy after she whines for 10 minutes, you have just taught her to be persistent in her tantrums... b/c they are effective in getting what she wants. It is better to just give in up front than to lose the battle. I have a 19 month old and hse can be a little stubborn, but I have seen that if I am consistent... she doesn't push certain things. For example, if she throws her food on the floor, the meal is over. While I was training her to understand this I woudl tell her one time, "if you throw the food on the floor then diner is "all done". If she threw it anyways, that was it, meal over. It took only 1 -2 times of me doing this until she learned that if she throws her food on the floor the food is going to go bye bye. Kids are smart, they figure things out quickly. Just remember to remain calm, loving, but assertive. You may feel like a "meanie" for a while, but know that ultimately you are doing the most loving thing. You are helping her to learn self-control and her life will be easier in the long run if you can help her with that. Strong willed kids tend to grow up to be leaders, just keep that in mind while you are dealing with the tough times.

HI M.,

My son is very strong willed. If he started throwing a tantrum, sometimes the best thing was to immediately remove him from the area. If we were in the mall or a restaurant, we'd take him outside the door (as to limit his "audience"). We would talk to him (limited number of words, but the sames words consistantly), let him calm down, then, we'd go back in. Sometimes, we'd stand back a couple of feet and tell him that he was not behaving and people were looking at him because he was not being nice. (Again, trying to limit the number of words.) Every child is different and you will do a lot of trial and error.

Good luck!

First off, as a Godly woman, you must pray for your daughter and for guidance in regard to raising her. Second, give her choices so you can avoid a fight or a tantrum. Instead of saying put on your shoes, ask which shoes would you like to wear? Do you want me to put them on for you? Do you want to go with mommy? If so, you need to put on your coat. See if this works. I hate the idea of my child "calling the shots", but I hate fighting with my three year old. She is very strong willed and has been this way since birth. I have to learn to deal with it and this is the only thing that works. There are still times that we bump heads, but it has gotten better.

When my son threw his very first "tantrum", he fell into the floor, kicking and screaming. I very calmly (he thought) stepped over him and went into my bedroom and closed the door. His little fit was over almost immediately. I came out and asked him if he was done, and then sent him to his room. While misbehaving, he got absolutely NONE of my attention. End of tantrums. When he acted up in public, I would take him to the car and then no talking until we got home. Once we got home, he got the "chair and no TV" treatment with a twist...I would have the volume at a level that he could hear, but not understand, and of course he couldn't see it either. I can honestly say I could take my son almost anywhere by the time he was two. I put it simply to him: You act up, you don't get any of mommy's attention. He got full attention while behaving nicely. Worked for us.