HELP! My DH and I are at our wits end! 2 weeks ago, our DS suddenly started resisting bedtime and all our bedtime rituals. He was fairly consistant about bedtime since he was born. We watch the "Good Night Show" on Sprout for a while; give a bath every other night, unless he really needs it or requests one; then go to his room get his jammies on and read stories and then give kisses. He would generally be in bed by 8 PM but never later than 8:30. We get him up at 5:45 AM so we can leave for daycare/work.
Then, last Monday, he was playing with his toys in another room, so we didn't watch Sprout. As our normal bath time approached, we asked if he was ready for a bath and he said no. He is usually quite excited about bath time, especially if bubbles are promised. We decided to skip the bath that night since he wasn't too dirty and got him in his jammies without much fuss. Then he said he wanted a bath. So DH ran another bath, which was greeted by NO! Books were screamed at, including his favorites and we finally got him in bed at 9 PM. This trend continued all week.
As he week wore on, I started thinking that maybe it was time to push his bedtime later. He gets a 2 hour nap at daycare, and I don't think he can really get out of that other then just resting quietly. So, maybe, he doesn't need as much sleep. So this week, we began starting the bedtime routine at 8 PM. And since DH pointed out that we hadn't had Sprout on, maybe we had thrown him off. So, Sprout is on, even if he isn't in the room. But most nights he is. Baths are resisted, except the night I decided I didn't want to waste the warm bath and got in myself - then he wanted to join me. Once he went to bed at 8:15, but generally its been 8:45 and tonight it was 9:45 - with fights the entire time. On top of that, he has been up before 5 Am and just suffered through 2.5 days of diaherrea. We can also see that the third of his 2nd year molars is coming in - at least has bruised the gum. But he refuses medience.
DH and I know we should not argue with him about this. He has been in a toddler bed since March and recently figured out how to consistently open doors. If he's really tired, he still just jiggles the handle and cries/screams for us. Any thoughts on how to get him back on track? All the stuff we've read says to ask him whats wrong, etc, but a 22 month old can only express himself so much.
Thanks everyone! These are all wonderful suggestions. I saw another Mommy with the same problem yesterday and one of her responses suggested a book called 1-2-3 Magic. So I picked that up at the library today.
Tonight, DH and I went back to the "old" routine. We gave him ibrophen after dinner and since that didn't quite seem to completely work, I rubbed a little Orajel nightime on his gum. And like you said, telling him it would help his mouth got him to open right up! While DS was still fighting laying down, I left the room and started reading the book. It mentioned sitting outside the room and putting him back in bed everytime he got up with no talking. There was mention of a 4 yr old and sitting in his room, rather than outside it, so I took the book and went in DS's room and sat down reading it. DS sat on his bed watching me, but finally laid his head down. When I saw his eyes were closed, I got up to leave. He then sat up, looked at me and said Bye Bye, I said Bye Bye and he put his head on his pillow and we haven't heard a peep. :) So, it was close to 8:30 but that is so much better than last night's 9:45!
Maybe teething is wearing on him, and he needs to be comforted. Or you may want to consider starting his bedtime routine a little earlier. Or let him stay up and deal wirh the consequences in the morning - maybe a little too young for that. I hope this helps.
I am sure some of this stems from the molars (my 26 month old just broke throught the gum on his, too!). He has responded really well to the orajel right before bed (more of a comfort thing). I just ask him if his teeth hurt and he sticks his finger in his mouth and wants me to put it in! the first time I told him that it would help his teeth stop hurting...you just have to be careful that he doesn't bite you! Also, some of it is that he is TWO! I am sure you don't want to hear that part, because there is no magic solution (this time around is much worse than our oldest DS...who is almost 5!) Mostly he is feeling you out and trying to see who is going to have the control. You HAVE TO WIN! Be firm and make sure he knows who is boss! If he says no, then yes then no, etc. I know it is frustrating, but I usually only let mine change their mind a time or two, and I give them a warning. "This is your last chance...yes or no"...and then stick to whatever answer they give, no matter how much of a fit they throw! Be firm about fits too..."You need to settle down because you might hurt yourself if you keep throwing yourself" (Mine likes to throw himself backwards)! I know that it will seem like a losing battle and you may even go through it in phases all the way up through 4...my oldest still has a crying fit sometimes, mostly when he is tired, though! The important thing is that you are boss and he isn't! And that he knows that you love him even when you say no! I'm sure that part isn't hard to get in there! I know when our DS2 rolls out that lip because we said no, I have to really be strong! haha!
we recently went through the same thing! My 27 month old son all of a sudden did the same thing, out of the blue would resist staying in bed once we put him down and it would last for hours! Is anything else going on in your family, meaning any significant changes that would make him act this way? We are expeciting our second child and my doctor said that he was rebelling because of this. It actually has gotten a lot better! He still gets up at the crack of dawn (5am) but at least he doesn;t fight me at night! I also would tell my son that if he would stay in bed and go to bed, he would get a reward (we used stickers and match box cars), and he would get one in the morning, and let me tell you as soon as he wakes up, he asks for it!! Kids don't forget a thing! Hope this helps a little!
K.
I have a 26 month old boy and here are a few thoughts: 1. make him take the medicine for his teeth. I stopped giving my son his when he didn't want it, and after a week I just started giving it weather he wanted it or not, and now he takes it with no problem. And within a half an hour he's much happier. 2. make him take the bath. He's probably testing you and needs firm, loving limits. My son likes the bath when he's in it, but will say NO beforehand because he wants control in his life and to see what happens. Some nights he's said no to get in, he'll say no to getting out too. Some nights he stands in the bathtub and I wash and rinse him and he gets right out, but he knows that if I say he needs a bath then he has to have it. Even if he resists it, he knows bedtime is coming and his body can start realizing it. 3. I would bet money your son needs more sleep than he's getting. I've read tons of books and they all repeat that over and over. He's getting up pretty early and most books say toddlers need to go to bed between 6:30 and 7:30 pm. If he's not sleeping well due to teething, he probably needs to go to bed even earlier than normal. Lastly, decide what you want his bedtime routine to be and stick with it for a week. i.e. you can stick with Sprout or do something different, kids are amazingly adaptable, but turn out the light at 7:00 or whatever time you choose every night. I find it difficult to be firm with my son sometimes, but you know what, after one or two days, it pays off and things settle down. Good luck!!
frist it could be from his teeth after you are sure it not his teeth i would be more concentist bath every night same time then story kisses and good night and leave the room after few night of this he be bad on routing you my had few night of fussing but be wouth it in the end i promiss it only thke one night to get them off
You sound like a very patient and loving Mother. Do remember that your son is only 2 years old. A child that young cannot make good mature decisions about everything. He should not "run the show". You must exercise your parental authority for his best good. Be firm and kind. You set the bedtime and the bed routine and do hot accept "no" from your son. If he doesn't learn to respect your authority at this age it will be living hell when he gets older. AF
Its sounds to me like your son is testing his limits with you and daddy. Don't let him dictate what is going to happen when, just follow your routine even if he cries through it or wants something else. When hje gets out of bed just usher him back without saying anything and he will get the point that you aren't going to give in to him and that it is bedtime. Also I think you should keep his bedtime around 8 since he is still young and needs a lot of rest. I noticed with my son that when he is too tired he will fight bedtime and then not sleep well at all, waking up throughout the night. Maybe even try to move his bedtime to 7:30, it can't get any worse can it? Best of luck to you and your family.
hey L.- oh my gosh sleep stuff is so hard isnt it? I think it's a combination of a few things. His molars might really be bothering him- maybe try a bit of tylenol to see if that helps? and his routine should really be regular: no matter how much he fights it, keep the routine. Like you said, a 22 month old can only express so much, and he really isn't old enough to be able to tell you he needs more or less sleep, or that he wants a new routine. his acting out probably has nothing to do with what you're offering- i bet it's related to something else. So keep an eye on his days, talk to his daycare. maybe he's not actually napping or there's something going on that is playing itself out here.
finally, he really needs more sleep. 9pm is just too late for a 22 month old. that means he's only getting about 9 hours of sleep a night, plus 2 hours at daycare, so that's what, 11 max hours a day? he really needs more than that to keep himself going. Sounds like he's an active kid. sleep begets sleep, and a lot of kids tend to go off their rocker so to speak when they are TOO tired. he really isn't old enough to tell you that he isn't tired. he's probably so tired he's wiring himself up. i think you were right the first time, that bedtime no later than 8 is what he needs, keep his schedule consistent and that perhaps there is something else causing him stress other than bedtime. good luck!
