K.R.
Well I don't know if this is how it will go for you, but in my house adding number two was a breeze! And don't think my situation isn't comparable - EVERY time I held a baby before my daughter was born, my son would freak out. This went on through my pregnancy, and I was like you are, really worried about how hard it would be the first few months with the new baby (my son was 3 1/2 when she was born). Strangely, he came to the hospital a few hours after she was born, hopped up in my lap, held her, and was just in awe of how tiny her hands and feet were. That evening at home he was petting her head softly and rocking her cradle. He was so in love with his sister, and still is almost three years later. We never put it into his mind that having a new baby in our house was a negative thing, he accompanied me to our Dr. appointments, and we let him input on name choices (he wanted to name her "firetruck"). We let him see us cuddle and coo over her, and he just followed suit. The strong reactions your son is having now MAY just disappear when he sees his own baby and feels some "ownership" towards it, since it will be a part of your family, not someone elses. Maybe not, but you can cross that bridge when you get to it - hop back on mamapedia and ask about sibling rivalry, you're bound to get lots of help!