S.L.
Well, the first child is usually all about training the parent, I usually tell 1st time moms. It is hard to be firm because you don't have the experience behind you - the "been there, done that" mentality that helps you make a decision, stand behind it, and not second guess yourself.
First off, your 2 yr old should not be getting any bottles or cups at night. It is not necessary for her health (in fact it's bad for her teeth if it's not water), it creates a bad habit, and interrupts her and your sleep. That needs to go away - cold turkey works best.
But the bottle and her waking up to sleep in your bed are both situations that you are enabling your child to latch onto instead of helping her cope with the fact she needs to stay in her own bed - all night, until you come to get her in the morning without a bottle and the extra attention.
The best answer is tough love. You know the right thing to do is to make her stay in her own bed and for her to figure out how to occupy herself when she wakes up early or how to lay until sleep claims her again (if it's in the middle of the night). You know when she's okay versus when she really needs you (i.e. sick) and you need to be strong about your decision to want her to sleep in her own bed.
I went through this with my first, and inquired from my pediatrician brother about what to do. He said children need to learn to figure out some things on their own, and dealing with waking in the middle of the night or waking too early in the morning is one of those things. If the child cries, wait 5 minutes before going to see them. If they stop before 5 minutes, you know it wasn't a real problem, and they were just calling to see if you'd come. If they continue crying or calling out, go check on them. If they are fine (not sick, too hot, too cold, messy diaper, etc.), then tell them they're okay, to settle down, and to go to sleep. If they insist on your attention (or your bed), you say "no, mommy sleeps in her bed, and [your daughter's name] sleeps in her bed." She'll probably cry and whine for a while, but eventually, she'll see she's not going to get her way and she'll either fall back asleep or figure something else out. No matter how long - let her cry it out.
Let me tell you that those 5 minutes were really hard to wait out the first few times, and waiting for my child to settle down was nerve racking, but my husband and I held our ground, and sure enough, our child stopped crying out. The first couple of times our son stopped after a few minutes, so we didn't even need to go check on him. When he was in his three's he started waking up again, and one time he fussed for about 45 minutes after we checked on him before he give in to sleep, but he worked through it and no more problems!
Trust me, it will be harder on you than on your daughter, but the fussing will get shorter each time, and before long, she'll either sleep through or learn to cope herself, and it won't be in your bed!
Just know that every unfavorable habit you allow to start gets harder to break the longer you allow it to continue. Remember - you're the parent, you set the rules (out of love), and your daughter is going to have to live with them, like it or not.
Hang in there, be consistent, and you and your daughter will come out okay!
