2 Year Old Sending Him to Preschool or Not

Personally, at two I would go with playgroups instead. If he has not been around many kids then he may have a lot of adjusting before he would be succesful in a preschool program. If you do playgroups then you are going to be there to help him with sharing and the socialization part of things. He may be a very easy going little boy at home and require very little discipline. You put kids in a group together to share and get along then things can be very different than they are at home. Atleast if you start out with playgroups it will be a learning experience for both of you to prepare him for school. It will also give you an answer to whether or not he is ready to go at it on his own. A real preschool program is usually a couple of mornings a week and it is far less expensive than an all day daycare. My boys were in a preschool three mornings a week starting at the age of three. When those two years were up they were more than ready to move on. Two years is a long time. I can't imagine three. Good luck! Congrats on Baby #2!

Like from the other responce, pre-school is a personal choice. I did the playgroup route myself. We get together once a week and rotate houses or parks. It was not only good for the kids, but it also helped me get out and be with people that were in the same situation. Playgroup also help make freinds in the area and outside of playgroup times that if any of us were in a pitch for a sitter we could call on each other. When I did finally send my oldest off to preschool at 4, it was hard to find just a pre school, they were all day cares.

Good luck

Hi S.,
My son started Litchfield Montessori School at 2 3/4 and he's been there since. He's 7 1/2. He absolutely loved it, waved good bye on his first day and he hasn't looked back. They're very good about focusing on independance, respect for each other and the environment. They have the kids in 3 year cycles, so it would definately help him learn to help the new one on the way! My son is an only child but works very well with kids younger than him. Montessori is all about peace, respect and helping you community.
It wasn't cheap, but it's the best decision we've ever made for him! They have people going there from as far away at Middlebury to Winsted. If you'd like to ask me more about it I'd be glad to help. Or you can call the school at ###-###-####.
They are wonderful.
E. K. :-)

With my boys I found a local church who had a mothers group that met once a week it was called Mom to Mom. You did not have to be a member of that church. They did provide childcare if you choose to use it. It was free. I enjoyed meeting with other mothers and it did give my boys the chance to socialize. momtomombv.org

Hi S.,

I think preschool is great for children and I think it would be nice for your son to have some "special" time after the baby arrives. My daughter is almost 2 and is very social and loves other kids and activities. She's "visited" a couple of preschools for open houses, etc and I think she'll love it. We don't need child car, so we've decided to send her twice a week, half days next year when she is almost 3. I've registered her at the Sacramento Street Preschool in Cambridge. I really loved the staff and the vibe and it came highly recommended to me. It's a play based program. It's just outside of Harvard Square and the program will cost $275 a month. They offer 1/2 and full days 2, 3 and 5/week and rates range from $275 to $940. The only draw back I could see is if you work a trad 9am to 5pm job as their "full" day is only until 230pm.

The other option I considered was the Children's Village near the Fresh Pond area of Cambridge. I liked their program as well and it was also very highly recommended, but they rotate teachers which I wasn't too keen on and the location ended up not working for us. Their rates ranged from $850 a month for 2 days full time to $1850 a month for 5 days. They are open 8am to 6pm. I don't think they offer 1/2 day programs. I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

My daughter is 19 mos and we send her to a home daycare, which is not only less expensive then group daycares (which she used to go to) but is more hands-on and more one on one. I cannot even tell you how much she loves it there. She goes three days a week. We refer to it as 'school' since the daycare provider uses a preschool curriculum with the kids. There are always new activities, arts and crafts, and outdoor play space in her yard. The best part has been the socialization with the other kids. I like that she goes somewhere 'by herself' so to speak. I think it gives her confidence and keeps things interesting. The days she is home with me have been better too. I ended up finding our home daycare on craigslist. I interviewed a couple and feel we got very lucky with the one we found. There are lots of great ones out there and asking other moms is also a good way to find one. Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Hi S.,

I think that your son is too young to leave you. I had a younger sister and older brother, and my socialization happened at home and on visits to relatives, to stores, etc. Parents are responsible for helping their children learn about the world. I wouldn't trust that to a daycare center.

Depending on your son's personality, it may be difficult for him to adjust to sharing you with a new baby. It's my opinion that he's just a baby himself and separating him now might seriously upset his development. It seems that more mamas on this list recommended that 3 1/2 is a better time to separate from your son. Getting a baby to pre-school can be really difficult and demands a whole new routine that may be more difficult that having your little guy home with you.

I read that a child's first six years are critical to healthy physical and mental development. I think that a child might be happy to go to daycare, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't be better off being with you if you're staying home. AS others have said, you could limit his time away to a short time each week and use the library resources and playgrounds because the time with them is precious. I'm sure many of the working mothers who need to use daycare and pre-school would rather be home with their children. Others are happier working.

Hi,
My daughter is 2 and goes to a daycare/preschool every day. She's been going since she was 8 months old because I work... and I honestly think that it was the best thing I could have ever done for her. She absolutely loves it. She loves her teachers and the other kids and I think it's really helped her development, both socially and verbally. She talks in sentences now, knows her ABCS and can count to 15. I work with her a bit at home but am convinced that she has learned an absolute ton from watching older kids at daycare and from working with her teachers. It might be hard in the beginning, but sending your son to preschool will definitely be worth it. It's also great to have that network of other parents and her teachers as well. I also think it's important for my daughter to have a closeness to other adults, besides my husband and I. She talks about her teachers on the weekends and I know that they all really care about her. I'd reccommend my daycare but it's an hour and a half from Concord.

S.,

If your son hasn't spent much time away from you, then you might start by enrolling him part time- 2 mornings a week, for example. I think it will be good for him to have the opportuity to socialize with a group of other children. It is amazing how much they learn in pre-school.

Consider making the change to pre-school this summer, for two reasons:

The first is that when most kids start pre-school or daycare they get sick. They simply don't have any immunity built up. I'm not talking serious illness, but all those little colds and stuff. You don't want to be dealing with a sick kid and a new baby at the same time.

The second is that if you make the change in his routine too close to your due date, he may associate "being sent away" with the arrival of his sibling.

As far as where- visit them and observe. There are lots to choose from, and some are better than others.

If you decide not to send him, there are lots of places you can take your son that will amuse him. Take a look at the Children's Museum (Acton) and NARA Park (also in Acton).

You mentioned that you are from the Concord area. So I wanted to add one more comment- unrelated to your question. Depending on what price range you are looking at, the market for homes has probably bottomed out in this area. The low interest rates, first-time homebuyer tax credit of $8K, and lower inventory has contributed to this. Houses under $500K in Concord and surrounding towns are selling for more than they did a year ago, and are on the market for a much shorter period of time. There are still some very good deals, but they tend to go quickly. I am also seeing multiple offers when the house is priced well! Houses sales above that range are still slow, and may move down some more. Hope this helps!

At 2 isn't it really daycare and not preschool? When does he turn 3? I would wait personally. Find some activities you can do with him. Look for a playgroup. Check out your local library. They usually have tons of children's activities. I don't think there's the need to spend the money like that. You can find other ways to socialize him. At this age they really don't actually play with other children anyways. Plus with a new baby on the way and you having always been home with him I'd be worried he might get the impression you were trying to replace him by sending him off every day. You can find things to spend your day doing with him and you might want to hang onto the money you'd be spending on a preschool for your new home. There really is no reason to send a child that is 2 to preschool other than for childcare. Actually, unless there is a delay even 3 seems too young to me for preschool. My oldest was in a preschool at 3 1/2, but that was because she had a speech delay. My second didn't have preschool until she was 4 through the local school system and it was free. I just think before I decided to send my 2 year old off somewhere to socialize I'd try to find some playgroups or story times. There really is a lot out there.

Hi, S.,
Have you tried checking out your local library to sign your son for a story hour in his age group? The program is usually free and meets one hour a week for a certain number of weeks. Also, see what other "free" programs or inexpensive programs may be available in your area( usually the library may have that information as well- it never hurts to ask!)
Years ago I used to babysit for a group of moms that would meet at a local church for a Women's Bible Study & Fellowship time. That was for two hours once a week. They would take up a "free-will" offering ( if you didn't have it to give, no pressure) and the church would give me a set amount each week. If that interests you, call around to local churches and ask.
Also, check your local Parks & Recreation to see if there may be some programs for your son's age group ( Music, Art, Dance, Gymnastics, etc.) These may be more cost-effective for you, give your son some "independence" and provide him some social-interaction without "breaking the bank"!
Good luck and enjoy him. They grow up too fast!
H. Y.

A liitle about me:

I'm a part-time working mom of two teens- a son 16 & a daughter 13, who are the greatest kids on the planet! My husband & I will be celebrating 22 years of marriage in Aug.

I am a mom of four and have thought lots about this issue!

I'd recommend a small, home based play group for your 2 yr. old. Something small, intimate, and cozy. Honestly, there's toileting issues with some nursery schools, anxiety about managing a toddler and newborn,etc. that you just don't want to deal with! Plus the children don't need firm structure at this age. Just need to get used to being away from mom and learning how to play with other kids. Also, you want a place where if you show up late or don't show up at all given whatever is going on at home that isn't a problem. I'd suggest canvassing the Concord area for something like that. Good luck!

Hi S.,
I am 100% in favour of sending kids to preschool as soon as possible. [Some people call it daycare but I always called it preschool with my son even when he was a year old!] They teach kids social skills and even some educational things that we don't even think of (unless you're an educator and are aware of these things). Plus the kids make great little friends.

Children live up to our own expectations, they are often more "ready" than we give them credit for. If you find that your son has a harder time adjusting, you're at just the right time now to lavish attention upon him, stay a few hours at the school with him and then leave him for a while to be on his own until he gets acclimated.

I know a lot of people prefer home centers to public-type centers. I personally prefer public-type centers with lots of teachers and different rooms for children to grow into, multi-age playground, standards that you can monitor, and directors that you can talk to when something isn't right to you.

Good luck making your decision!

Hi S., Only you can know if your son is ready for preschool at age 2. Traditionally kids start at 3. My daughter started at 3, but boy was she ready at age 2!I think a good rule of thumb is basing it on their communication skills and potty training progress. If they can speak up for themselves and are well on their way with toilet training - then your son is probably in good shape.
You can always use the YMCA for this first year. I know that not all Y's are equal - some have really nice facilities - others not so much, but the care is always great and this first year your goals would be to have your son acclimate and have a "big boy" activity.
If school doesn't work out - just encourage your son with all the "big-boy" activities he can do that that little baby can't do. With my kiddo's, we initially "made-fun" of that little baby who couldn't do anything for himself! - Not like my big girl who could - play blocks, help mom make breakfast, climb into her carseat, use the potty....you get it.

Good luck and congratulations!

My son will be 3 in October and last Fall we decided to send him to a 2 year old group run by The Professional Center in Andover called the 2x2 group. He loves it. He goes one morning a week (9 - 11:30) but you could do 2 mornings. It's a bit expensive but the group is small and the teachers are wonderful. The groups are made up of equal numbers or early intervention and other children from the community. If your child is not early intervention you need to call and get his name on the waiting list. They do lots of sensory stimulating activities, gross motor play, craft projects, singing and verbal development. It's a great program. My son will go to a three year old pre-school program this Fall and I feel like the 2 yr. old drop off group was a perfect transition. Good Luck!

HI S.,
I am not exactly in your situation, I work full time, one day from home. But since you live nearby in Concord (we are in Sudbury), I thought I would respond. Both my kids (now 14 mo and 2y 4 mo) are in daycare 4 days a week, and have been since 3 months. It was a very difficult transition at first (for me, really), sending my son first, but I can honestly say, both my kids are very happy and well adjusted, and our daycare is great. In my case, I had to send them, so the decision is very different. But, if you do decide to send him, you might want to consider Sudbury Children's Learning Center. We have been very happy there. The staff is really wonderful, and the program is great - reading, music, tottercize, playground time, crafts, etc. My son likes to go in the morning, barely notices my leaving ;) (daughter too young yet to express this.. ;). He is just starting to play with the other kids now too (up to now has been mostly "parallel play"), and when home, he talks about his friends, and his teachers, often. Both my kids are very happy and social, and my son knows his abc's, loves books, and is even very good about sharing with his little sister! At home we read to the kids a lot, play piano, paint, nature walks, etc.. but they also learn a ton, both socially and otherwise, at the center. And it is great for the parents too, with parent potlucks, book fairs, notices of local parenting classes, etc... There are flexible schedules, half days and/or 2-3 days/wk , I think. We have also considered the Leap School, which is supposed to be very good. They only take toddlers though, so it wasn't an option for us in the beginning.

Good luck with your decision, and congratulations on baby #2,
best,
Kim

The preschool decision is probably a personal one -- some kids like it, some don't, some parents are willing or able to pay, and some aren't or can't. Kids also deal with new siblings differently. Your son might not want to be sent away from mom when the baby doesn't have to be, or he might indeed want his own thing. You just can't tell until the baby arrives.

However, some alternatives to preschool might be local library or recreation-department programs. Many libraries have great story times, music programs, or other activities for toddlers (I live in Littleton, and I know both the Littleton and Westford libraries have nice programs. I have heard that Acton -- close to you -- does as well, although that was not from a mom but from a relative who works at the library). I know that both Littleton and Acton -- probably Concord too -- have good programs for kids through the recreation departments. These are usually fairly inexpensive. You do of course have to go with your child, but it would provide some social exposure and some fun activity out of the home. Another option might be gym. There are several chains (Gymboree, My Gym, The Little Gym). We use the latter in Littleton and LOVE it. I'm sure it really depends on the instructors, but the ones in Littleton are really fabulous. At 2, your child would be in a class where you would be involved as well, but as soon as he gets to be 3 (or is ready to progress to the next level), you can let him go in unattended while you sit in the waiting room (which has an observation window) or run errands. The Little Gym is much less expensive than Gymboree (there is a Gymboree in Acton; I don't know what is in Concord), and I'm unfamiliar with My Gym prices or locations.

I have a 3-year-old and an 18-month-old. Although they don't get bored in the house, I need to get out of the house for my own sanity, and so I try to take them to playgrounds, farms (check out Drumlin Farm near Walden Pond), and The Discovery Museums (we have a pass, which pays for itself in about four visits, so that we can go and spend only an hour without having made it a horribly expensive hour). The Children's Discovery Museum can be really crowded, but if you go at off-peak times it can be a great way to keep your child entertained for quite a while, and all the mess is left at the museum. Although I know it might feel like an effort to get out of the house with an infant AND a toddler, I really found that it was more relaxing that way in the end because once I got to our destination, my older son could pretty much do his own thing with minimal effort on my part.

I don't send my 3-year-old to preschool, so I don't have any personal recommendations about that, but if cost is an issue and you don't mind getting involved in school, you could look for co-op programs (where parents volunteer a lot to keep costs down).

I would look into some local playgroups or maybe something that you can send him to once a week. The preschools around me don't start until age 3 and its expensive. I couldn't imagine paying for 3 years. Check your library too ours has one playgroup parents stay at and another one that you can drop off at.

It depends on the child. I think two may be too young, but only you can access if you think your son would be up to the change. MY son, at two, would have been way too young for preschool. We waited until he was three and he LOVED it and never had a problem being away from me. (I am also a SAHM and my son was always with me up until that point).

I did read once that you need to be careful not to start anything really new with the immediate arrival of a newborn (for example, potty training, moving a child out of the crib because you'll need it), as the child often negatively connects the actions. For example, your son may think "mommy is sending me away to school because she wants to be with the new baby instead." It may be hard to imagine, but he may want even more of your attention, since you will always have a baby with you. I had my daughter when my son was 2, so I lived it!

Perhaps you can look into hiring a neighborhood 'tween girl to be a mommy's helper in the afternoon. You will be home to supervise and the mommy's helper can basically help by playing with your son. We did that (starting with girls 9-10 years old) and it is magical how a new person with undivided attention will brighten a child's day. If the helper is older, say high school, you can even take a shower or catnap with the baby while they are playing.

Congratulations on your new arrival!

Hi S.,
I was in much the same boat as you a few years ago. When my older DD was 2 1/2 I was expecting #2 and wanted to start working on parent/child separation with her. We found a great program through our YMCA that is specifically for 2 & 3 year olds, meets 4x/week for 1 hour each morning and is a drop off program. I'll be honest she had a hard time at first and several of the other kids did as well. But after a couple of weeks she loved it! My second DD was born during that year and she continued to go to her "class" and loved it. The next year she started a more formal preschool and while there was still an adjustment period, it wasn't nearly as bad as the first year.

My younger DD is now in the same program and has been since September. She absolutely loves it and interestingly has never once cried, not even the first day. I am sad that her last day is tomorrow.

Good luck with your decision and I hope you can find a program that suits your needs. For us this 1 hour a day program was perfect.