2 Year Old Not Sleeping Thru the Night

To me it sounds like he's enjoying all the attention at night. I would stop catering to him so much. Why wouldn't he get up when mom is willing to do so much for him?

I am 36 and a stay at home mom with 3 children. 17, 15 and now a 4 month old. One thing to remember with your dilemma is your 2 year old is probably insecure about being alone, and of course wants mommy. I got this advice from my mom when my son was a toddler and I will pass it on to you. In order for your child to sleep through the night, my suggestion is to set a routine. Bath, pajamas, last feeding of the day, always try to do it at the same time each evening... and then put your child to bed, then read a story, or cuddle before you turn on the nightlight, explaining and talking to your child that it is bedtime in a very soothing voice before you leave the room. Your 2 year old will probably cry, because of the insecurities of being alone (I had this problem with my firstborn). What I did was allow my son to cry for 5 minutes the first night, and then go into his room to make sure he knew I was still there, by talking and soothing him until he stopped crying. I did not pick him up, however,nor did I give him a bottle, etc. I would leave the room and of course he started crying again... I waited 5 minutes and then I went into the room. After a half an hour, he was asleep. And throughout the night, if he woke up crying, I would wait 5 minutes, and then go in the room and comfort him, again, without picking him up or offering a bottle. The next night, I let him cry for 10 minutes and did the same thing I did the night before. And the next night I waited 15 minutes. And so on, adding 5 minutes to each night. Until after a week and a half, I had success! What you are doing is fostering independence, and boosting self esteem by letting your child know you are still there, and that you didn't leave him. So, good luck! I hope this helps.

Hi C.,
I'm a SAHM too and have a 3 yo. son. What you're experiencing at the moment is the same for me. But, what I do is I put him down for naps in the early afternoon and he seems to sleep through the night when he does do that during the day. Another piece of advice is if he doesn't do naps, keep him active throughout the day...take him to park to play or take him outside for a walk. Just allowing him to release some of that energy may help him sleep better. Hope this helps...

I've recently read a great book called "No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" by Elizabeth Pantley. My son had never slept through the night and now we are making progress. One thing I am using now is a white noise machine, my son really likes it.

Also, just a note on the bedtime milk. Have you considered trying to wean him off that by watering it down gradually over a couple weeks (or more) until it is entirely a cup of water? Some kids will always want something to drink before bed or when they wake and of course water doesn't hurt.

Yes I have some suggestions for you: you've gotta learn some tough love! I know he's very young but it is much better for his long term welfare that you make sure he sleeps a full night and absoultely no more bottles (that's really not good for him! He's 2 years old now). So I guess my advice to you is to stop making goals and start taking action (I had to do that with my son Braeden who is nearly 2 now as well who would not sleep through the night either):

Feed him less than an hour before he goes to sleep, every single night put him down at the same time (that is SO imperative! Braeden goes down at 7:30), put on a monitor that lights up to show you he's crying and pull his crib away from the wall. Then, you close the door, turn off his light and get yourself some sleep. He will not die from crying but you may suffer health and emotional problems from not sleeping. I know you love your son but it sounds like you are not setting your foot down at all about bedtime and he is running things and more than happy to take advantage of it (as all children would be, :P). You need to take care of yourself too, especially with getting rest, at least 6 hours a night. You can't be a good mother without it, I know I couldn't be. After a couple of weeks, he will stick to the schedule, I promise. Just remember: YOU'RE THE MOM! He needs love AND structure. :)
Best wishes,
~*~Mama A.~*~

Hi C.. I have lived in Bend almost two years myself. I have a 12 year old girl and a 2 1/2 year old boy. I actually have problems getting him to go to bed. He constantly gets out of his bed and plays with toys, or sits by the stairs or gets into anything he shouldn't.
As for your problem do you let him cry for a few minutes first, or go right to him? My son took a pacifier until about 6 months ago.(only when he slept) I finally one night just took it away, told him he was to big for it. It was very hard for about a week. He had a hard time sleeping. But then he was fine. Maybe try giving him warm water in the middle of the night, and when you change his diaper don't talk to him or turn on any lights. This can wake him even more. Good luck. Talk with you soon....

Try diluting the milk. Our pediatric dentist gave us that suggestion. Continue increasing the amount of water compared to milk until your child is drinking straight water. At that point, in theory, they should quit waking up because there is no reward (or if they do wake up you at least don't have to worry about rotting their teeth). I've been doing that with my son and he doesn't seem to mind as long as it is warm (we are at about 2 ounces of milk to 4 or so of water at this point).

FWIW, I nursed my son until he was 23 months. He was driving me nuts because he was up an average of 3 times each night. That is really what finally pushed me over the edge to wean him. When I did it, I just refused to nurse him. He woke crying every hour all night the first night, woke probably 3 times the second night, once the third night and then started sleeping through the night. So it was 3 days of decreasing amounts of hell but then he slept. I'm not saying going "cold turkey" is a great solution but I had run out of other ideas. I did not leave him to scream by himself - I held him and rocked him and suffered with him - but I did not nurse him because I did not want to start all over again. If you decide to try this, my real suggestion is to do it on the weekend. I decided (for some insane reason) to start this on a Tuesday night (I work full time). Do not do that. I was completely dead by the end of the week and so was my whole family...

:-)T.

Maybe he is getting to much sleep through out the day. Maybe you need to cut back on his naps during the day. Also you might try taking him to the gym or some kind of activity at night. I know that my 3 year old nephew sleeps much better at night when my sister-in-law takes him to the mall playground (winter) or the playground (summer). There are kid gyms out there too. You have to pay but I think if you don't have something closer or it is too cold outside. There might be a rec center near you too.

Hi C.,
Trust me! I know how hard it is to have a child who doesn't sleep through the night and wakes up every couple of hours. My daughter was a TOUGH one from the first day I brought her home. I could go on and on about that. Anyways, it is perfectly normal for toddlers to wake up throughout the night. The thing is how they deal with it when they wake up. Sounds like your son has never had the chance to learn how to put himself back to sleep. My advice to you is simply let him cry at night and not give him milk or even change his diaper. Let him know that night time is for sleeping. There is no need or benefit of giving him milk throughout the night at the age of 2. He will have a total FIT for maybe a week but each night will get better and he will eventually learn to get back to sleep on his own. I know it sounds harsh and it is a very difficult thing to do but IT WILL WORK! Second I would take his sister out of his room, I assume now her sleep is being interupted because of your son constant waking up. As far as sitting in his room with him before he falls asleep and giving him his milk, I would keep doing that until you get him sleeping through the night. Once he sleeps throught the night then work on laying him in his bed and walking out of the room. I hope this helps, I had to do this with my daughter and within a week we were both sleeping through the night and in much better moods the next day. Good Luck! :)

C.,
You might want to either cut his time for his naps or no naps and have him run around all day to make him just crash. My son who is now 4 had the same problem. So I would take him to the park, not have a nap unless it was a short cat nap and fill his belly with solid food that sticks at night. That worked with him and it might work for you. Good luck!

I'm sure I'll get some frowns for this but it's what helped me. My daughter did the same thing right around her age. I told her doctor. He suggested Children's Benadryl. Check with your doctor for the right dosage by weight. I would put some in with her bottle or juice and she would get too drowsy to fight it. It would break the sleepless cycle and she would sleep through the night and wake up refreshed and rested. After a few days or maybe a week, I would stop doing it and she would normally fall asleep. I still do it from time to time when she has struggles. Also, make sure she is getting enough rest during the day. Nap actually help sleep at night.

Good Luck.

My second child did this and finally I had to bite the bullet and do the cry it out thing. It sounds barbaric and truth be told it feels pretty awful as a mom but after three nights she had almost quit waking up altogether and by the one week point it was as if she was a whole different kid. I was a better mom for it too seeing as I was finally getting some sleep! We started by telling her as we put her down that she had to stay in her bed and when her cup (water) was gone there was no more. Then when she would wake up crying we would call out to her and say "you're o.k. go back to sleep" nothing more. If she cried for more than a few minutes (which she did the first two nights) we would call that out again every once in a while. We would not get her up or go in to visit. My third child was in a bed by the time we went through this so we would quietly walk her back to bed every time with no interaction so she would get very little encouragement to continue. Good luck! I hope you and your little one get some sleep soon!

Hi, I am new to this mom site and I was skimming through requests, and found yours and thought I may be of some help. I may have a suggestion for you, if you are willing to tolerate this for about a week. I was the same way with my first son. I would have to lay next to him till he fell asleep, and when he would wake up in the middle of the night, there I was again, right back next to him. I often just ended up sleeping with him all night. What your 2 year old has done is trained you to wake up all hours and you need to return the favor. You need to train him. What I would suggest. Make sure he has a clean diaper, full belly and give him a sippy cup before bed, not in bed, lay him down read him a book, give him a kiss, shut the door and just let him cry himself to sleep. I know this sounds horrible, but this works, What happens is that your son will cry every night for about a week. The first night will be the worst, he will scream at the top of his lungs, whatever you do don't rescue him. The next night he will again cry, but don't go in there he will then realize that mom is not coming to get me and I guess I just better deal with it. By the end of the week he will cut his crying down to 5 minutes then to none. This is very hard for us moms to do but it will work. It worked on both my kids my second one wasn't as bad as my first. Eventually this will be a thing of the past and another chapter in your baby book. I hope that you found this usefull.