2 Year Old in a Restraunt

After too many meals eaten in the car in the take out container, we finally decided it was not worth it to take our two kiddo's out to eat and actually ENJOY the food. Yes, we could get them to behave but it took too much effort at the end of the day. When we do go out, I order their food when the waitress takes our drink orders. This gives them plenty of time to eat and only a wait of about 5 min before their food arrives. I also tell them if they are good they can order a juice (they think this is especially fun b/c I water theirs down about 90% at home and non watered down juice is like a dessert to them) I also provide pens and paper for them to color on. We always try to pick restaurants that are kid friendly and they are not allowed to touch the floor once seated. Once they get down and start misbehaving we leave! I ALWAYS ask for a booth. We can trap the kids in and it allows for more wiggle room for them to play.

Good luck,
L.

Teresa spelled out what we've done too. Though just to summarize, always have on hand:
1. a few snacks
2. a toy(s) that's otherwise off limits, but really fun
3. pen/paper/crayon (Crayola makes some no-mark markers and paint that only shows up as color on their special papers - LIFESAVER and shirt/pants/coat/table lifesaver too!!!!)
4. a drink
5. a few favorite songs (with motions) to sing together

Helpful Hints:
1. no getting down at restaurants - always use the highchair - the moment they get down they are too restless to get back in
2. point out objects of interest wherever you go and talk about them (maybe start with this while you wait for food), including colors, shapes, sizes, talk about how the tortilla machine works, etc.
3. always go to child-friendly restaurants - the test is if they have a high chair, how dim the lights are, how loud the atmosphere is, and if they have a changing table in the bathroom!
4. if you have a fast eater, offer more distractions first and get food with yours so you can eat a little while its hot; otherwise for slow eaters, get it right up front and offer a hidden sucker or treat from your purse after the meal (or order dessert)

you've gotten some really good advice so far !! i just wanted to tell you about a game i would play with my son when we were out to a restaurant or anywhere that it was preferable that he be still. it's called "which hand is the thumb in?" make both your hands into fists with the thumb on the inside of the fist. hold them out in front of the child and ask "which hand is the thumb in?" they can pick one hand. whichever they pick you open and say either "yep, there it is, good job!!" with the hand open and the thumb laying in the palm OR "oh, no, it's not in there, you better try again!" with the hand open and the thumb in its natural position (out of the palm!!) for some reason my son thought this was just the bomb!! we would take turns and laugh and laugh. whoever guessed right got to have the next turn. hope this helps!!

My son was always near perfect at that age, and my daughter is always antsy when we go out- so I think a lot of it is her temperament and not the parenting exactly. (In case you are beating yourself up too much over this!)

One thing that we have found that helps (some) is to have a little pack of raisins, pretzels, crackers or other light snack for the kids to eat while we wait for our orders. Also, I have a little bag of toys that we only play with when we are at the restaurant: there are crayons, a little pad of paper, a couple little dolls and matchbox cars, and some pipe cleaners. We also play a little "I spy" game and have her find things to point out from the table. For example, I see a tiny snowman. Can you find it? Or there's a big purple flower. Do you see another flower? Stuff like that that takes her concentration. Even with these measures, she would often rather run around the restaurant. We end up eating in shifts, or eating fast.

Another thing that helps is if we go to the restaurant early so the the meal will be served at about the "normal" dinner time. Of course, this doesn't work if we are going out with family or friends... We also limit our restaurants to places that are noisier and kid friendlier...

In the store, I have my daughter help me get stuff or put stuff in the basket. She is AWFUL about clothes shopping and runs from us, hides under the racks, etc. so I try not to take her unless there's another adult with me (like her aunt or Daddy).

Hopefully our girls will outgrow this "wildness" and channel it elsewhere, huh? Best of luck!

I hope this is somewhat helpful. I have a girlfriend who said she didn't take her daughter anywhere from 2 - 3 yrs old. I was somewhat surprised by this - but as my son is now 2 (27mos), I am strongly considering this myself. It is a tough age for them to be still and they are trying their boundaries. I look forward to hearing the rest of your responses, because I am open to more ideas. But I too am considering - eating in for the next year :]p. Good Luck! L.

Hi V.,
I have a two yr old son who immitates his 8yr old brother a lot. When we go out to eat, we acknowledge his other brother on how he is behaving so well to get the point across to our 2yr old. He usually gets it and follows along. As another mother mentioned, try to get a booth so you can block her from getting out. Ice attracts my 2yr old someone so we order him water w/ ice and he would get bussy trying to scoop the ice out from the glass to a plate. We also make up silly games from the coasters available on our table -hide them behind our backs, pass along, trade, or play pretend cards. You can have your other children help too by including her into conversations or asking silly questions. Thumb wars are pretty silly to play too.

When our 7 yr old was younger and while waiting for our food, my husband would walk around the restaurant showing him all the cool stuff they had or outside to keep him busy then come back to the table.

The other thing that worked for us too is going to Sweet Tomatoes where our children love to pick thier own food, but following the rules of no running and to finish what's on their plate. My two year old probably gets up 2-3 times to get other servings. I see that my 2 yr old gets a confidence boosts that he can do what we big people can do. He enjoys holding his plate and walking it back to our table.

I hope this helps.
A.

Hi Vicky
My son (who is now 7) but even from a younger age actually sat still for about 30 to 40 min... Therefore, IF we did/do go out and eat, we ALWAYS take a few things into consideration.. one... make sure your child ISNT already starving when you get to the restaurant, be sure you are eating around a time when your child is either beginning to get hungry or will be soon.. Additionally, we know that once we hit the 30 min window(40 min max) our son will be ready to leave. We know that until he is older, it's kinda unfair to make a child stay put for more than hour simply so adults can chat it up over dinner. I'm not saying that teaching a kid to behave in a restaurant isn't the way to go, it is, what I am suggesting is a compromise, know your child's tempermant and work around it. Kids are instinctual... if they are hungry , they want food, once fed.. they go on to the next instinct, in a child's world, sitting still at a table for too long of a time isn't something they instinctually want to do.. in the same way that when they are tired, you don't make them stay awake right, you let them sleep.. again, manners and behavior are definitely things you want to teach, but in a way that a child can understand.

We used to eat out a lot (when we could afford it) and there are a lot of things you can do to make it go more smoothly. First rule for restaurants and church even was if they child was not going to be allowed to run around, there feet can never touch the ground. Once they get there little feet on the ground they tend to take off and there is no going back. Good quiet activities that we take to restaurants with us are stickers, small dolls, matchbox cars, coloring books/notepads (sticky notes work too). I also keep a few snacks in my purse or will ask them to bring us a couple of packages of crackers for us. I always request they bring the children's food right out and not to wait for our orders. This helps a lot also since my kids eat slow. The few times they have finished before us we have let them get dessert because they behaved so well and that kept them occupied until we have finished. Also, try really engaging them. My husband and I divide and conquer, giving one child each our full attention while we wait for our food. This is really effective. We don't get to talk to eachother too much but it is better than being stressed out by our kids misbehaving. As far as shopping I give my 2 yr old a pad of paper and pencil and tell her I forgot to put stuff on the list and ask her to add it. This takes a suprising amount of time and she doesn't seem to tire of it quickly. We will also play I spy or I will try to teach her how to do something such as snap or whistle while we are waiting in line at the deli counter or check out. I also have her help me find the groceries (from the cart) and wait for her to point out where some things are. This may take a few extra minutes but it makes her feel helpful and she cooperates way more. When all else fails and I need her to behave I resort to what works for us every time --fruitsnacks. I always keep a couple in my purse just in case and I usually give her a bag of crackers and a drink to have in the cart. We also have a couple of magna doodles that she likes to bring along sometimes or a favorite baby etc. I always let her pick one toy to bring with us so I am not losing a bunch of stuff each trip. At the checkout when it is time to load I let her stand in the back of the cart and help put items on the belt. This is by far her favorite part. Always make it seem like you really need her help. Toddlers love to be helpful. Also when I sense my daughter is getting too cranky sometimes I will pretend to trip or drop something with a lot of extra flair and it always cracks her up and she forgets she was starting to get cranky. I do also do the thing you said about laying out expectations beforehand, but found this tactic works better with the 3 and up set and not so much for 2 yr olds. Hope some of these suggestions are successful for you too.

Ha!! I remember my two year old son rolling down the aisle in a restaurant one time. My kids were not disciplined in restaurants (mea culpa), so if dining with a wild child is worth it to you and you can withstand the critical gazes of the other diners, go for it.

My husband had way less tolerance for the above than I did -- he hated it, actually -- so we rarely went out to eat for many years, until the kids matured some. When we did we picked really noisy, kid-friendly places to eat, where an unruly child didn't stand out so much.

I read an article in Parent's magazine a few months ago about this, you could probably find it on their site. A few things I've taken away from it and have found else where were: find places with high ceilings (which I haven't noticed a difference) that way if they get load, the sound travels up. They also said some Italian and Mexican food places will offer dough from their bread sticks or tortillas and the kids can play with that. My daughter is always great in a restaurant, but I think that's because we've always eaten out WAY too often. I've ready that you should have special toys for those specific things. A special coloring book that she only gets at a restaurant, or a special doll, etc. I have planned (but never done) to make a photo album of family and friends to carry in my purse for grocery shopping.
I hope these help and are not a repeat.