2 Year Old Having Trouble Falling Asleep and Staying Asleep

Updated on May 09, 2011
K.M. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
5 answers

My 29 month old daughter has always been a pretty good sleeper until recently. She's now waking up in the middle of the night and is awake for about 2 hours. She won't fall back to sleep unless my husband or I are in her room with her. Going to bed at night is the same. This is wearing on all 3 of us. No one is getting enough sleep. She wasn't napping prior to this but is now napping in the afternoon due to lack of sleep at night. Nothing at all has changed regarding anything. I've read that this is normal and just a phase. I'm wondering how long it will last. I'm really not enjoying trying to sleep on her bedroom floor every night nor am I a very good human being let alone mom when I haven't slept. Any sugesstions? How long will this go on?

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm so sorry you aren't getting sleep! My 2 year old son also likes to have us in his room when he's going to sleep, but we've managed to gradually make it better. The first few nights I actually had to sit beside him on the bed, then I moved to a stool next to the bed, then I would sit on the stool half way between the bed and the door, then in the doorway and eventually we got to the point where once he starts rubbing his eyes I can usually leave the room. Some nights I stand in the hall, out of view and shh him a bit if he fusses and other nights I have to go back in a couple of times to comfort him, but for the most part (knock on wood) he's been awake when we leave the room and goes to sleep without a big problem. I think the whole process took us about 2-3 weeks. I'm not sure about the middle of the night wakings, but it's possible that she freaks out because you were there when she went to sleep and aren't there when she wakes up. Good luck!

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F.W.

answers from Cumberland on

If she was fine without a nap before this, try to make sure she doesn't nap too long in the afternoon--it could be setting up a cycle of night waking. Around this age we transitioned my daughter to a big girl bed because of her fits about being in the crib--worked really well

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

when she wakes up keep her in her bed. If she gets up and comes into your room, walk her back to her room. Speak calm and softly. Telling her you love her and its bed time. Sweet dreams and you will see her in the morning. Tell her you will be back in a few minutes and check on her. But mommy will appreciate it if she stays in her bed.

Go back and check on her in a few minutes. Re-assure her you will be back if she starts to cry. Tell her you love her, you are there for her and you are just down the hall or next door to her and you will ALWAYS be there for her if she needs you, but she must stay in bed and call you. You will be back.

Sometimes children wake up because of their REM pattern is over. Does she usually wake up around the same time(s) each night? 12:30a / 3:30a?
If yes, then its when she is coming out of her deep sleep or a night mare.

Its best to not get her in the habit of you being in the room. I did this for my son for far too long and had a DIFFICULT time breaking him of it. Now that he has his very own cool toddler bed, I go in sit next to his bed. We talk, we sing and then I let him know in a few more songs mommy is going out in the living room but I will be back in a bit to check on him. I keep to my promise of when I leave and when I come back. This transition has been a HUGE success for me.

When he tells me "two more minutes mom" or "two more songs", i say okay then I will go and do just that. I made sure to always re-asure my son he was safe, i will ALWAYS be back and that I love him very much.

Each child is different and I can't say for sure, but your daughter will be the one to decide how long this will last. It also depends on your method you use and how well you can re-assure her and work with her on staying in bed and getting her self back to sleep.

Maybe put a night light on? music to help her sleep? Try to find something that teachers her to put herself back to bed without your help. If she still can not do it on her own, then you welcome the opportunity to assist her as best as you possibly can.

DO NOT GIVE IN TO SLEEPING IN HER ROOM!!! you are in for a big problem then! Yes its easier to deal with then her crying for you both to come back. Think of the long term effect of your methods if you always take the easy route. I am paying for mine.

Don't let her nap, if she never use to, don't start a new pattern for her. Keep with what you have been doing before. If at all, put her to bed earlier, like 1-2hrs sooner.

good luck and this till will pass soon, and quickly!

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K.A.

answers from New York on

I recently had some trouble with my 2 year old and not sleeping well at night. The only thing that worked for me was cutting out nap time entirely. He used to nap during the day for 2 hrs, so I cut it to 1 hr. That still didnt work, so I wound up cutting his nap time all together. He sleeps much better at night now.

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