Help with Nap Time - Old Forge,PA

Updated on October 04, 2008
K.W. asks from Old Forge, PA
16 answers

My son will be 3 in a week and for the last couple of weeks, he has been a terror at nap time. I didn't mind before if he laid in his room and read a book, but lately he's been laying in the hallway and kicking the gate at the top of the stairs. He's become so disruptive that he wakes his sister (15 months) and she becomes so hysterical that she won't fall back to sleep. I've thought about letting him skip his naps, but on the days when he doesn't actually sleep, around 5 pm he has a meltdown. His eyelids are also red/purple so I know he really is tired.
Its also starting to happen in the evening. I put my kids to bed at 7:30. He doesn't want to go to sleep immediately and stays up for at least an hour and a half trying to convince us that he's done with his little nap. We ignore him, but it is disruptive to both his sister and my husband and I. So, on some days, he will skip his nap, not go to sleep until 9/9:30, and wakes up around 7. That is way too little sleep. And, all this "wasted" sleep time is spent either in his room or the hallway.
We will be having another baby in 5 months, so I need to nip this in the bud as soon as possible. I like him to still be able to take a nap since right now, I like to nap when my kids are and when the baby comes, I'd like to either nap or have some alone time at some point. I know it sounds selfish, but I just need that hour in the middle of the day.
Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.

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J.Y.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am going through the same issue with my 3yr old daughter. Some days she naps, and other days she doesn't seem to need it, but she started getting disruptive and waking my 14 month daughter's as well. I put my baby down for her nap first, then let my 3 yr old have some "special" mommy time downstairs with me. I say something like "we can play a game and read 2 books, and then it's your naptime". She seems to respond well to feeling like she gets something extra special before her nap. When I bring her up for nap, I tell her that if she goes to sleep or plays quietly in her room, she will get a "treat" when she wakes up (usually 5 m&m's). I then remind her (before EVERY nap) that IF she comes out of her room, or is loud and wakes the baby, she will LOSE a priviledge, such as her afternoon tv show. I tell her that she doesn't have to sleep, but she DOES have to stay in her room. That has been working for us for the past several weeks. I'd say my daughter naps about 4 days/week, and has "quiet time" in her room the rest. I do put a few books in her bed, and she has stuffed animals too. On the days when she doesn't sleep, I can hear her "reading" her books and talking to the animals.
Good Luck! He may be ready to give up his nap, but that doesn't mean you have to give up your time, just yet!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K.,
Your son sounds a lot like mine, who is now 5 and a half. He stopped napping at 3 as well. (SO sad!) There are days he could STILL use a nap but that is not an option. He has afternoon Kindergarten (not my choice) so afternoon nap is done.
What I did was "quiet time" in his room for an hour. I would let him watch a DVD, give him a snack & let him have it on his bed. Does your son have a DVD/VCR in his room? That may keep his attention for awhile. Or a book on CD? My son used to like the Frog & Toad CDs and the CARS CD book.
Of course, I didn't have other kids to contend with but the movie time worked for me. It also allowed me to cut out tv otherwise through the day, as he knew his quiet time was when he could watch a show.
Could your daughter nap in her pack & play or in another room that is further away from your son's room.
You could do reward chart and give a sticker for everyday that he completes his "naptime" whether he sleeps or not and let him pick a reward after 10-15 stickers.
Some days I just had to completely bag quiet time b/c he just wouldn't stay in there!
I would definitely put him to bed earlier (an hour or 1.5 hours earlier). Eventually the extra sleep will mean fewer 5 p.m. meltdowns. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Can you bump his take time back an hour? He may be growing out of it. My kids stopped napping at 3 but they went through things like your son before they gave up the nap completly. So it may help to bump nap time back an hour and he may start sleeping for less time before he gives it up. Good luck to you guys.

1 mom found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K.. Have you considered letting him take his naps on a floor pillow in one of your main rooms of the house like the living room or family room? My girls all did that from the age of two on...LOL even today as teens they will take an occasional nap in Dad's lazyboy, the couch, or on the futon in the family room. I know it's great to be able to put them in their room and do whatever around the house that you need to do, but they need to be able to nap around noise too. Think of those pre-school and Kindergarden class naps! Maybe it's not the nap he is fighting, maybe he is fighting being away from the center of the action! Best wishes.

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J.I.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My sympathy, my three and a half year old has dropped the afternoon naps most of the time, even though he needs one. On the weekends, we let it go, since we were fighting for two hours at a pop to get him to go down, and that was stupid. On the weekends, he can sleep in, so no big deal. Someone mentioned that they still need the same amount of sleep at this age.

I don't think you are being selfish. We all need a break. If my guy won't sleep, he has to do a quiet activity and let mom/dad do their thing. Sometimes, I will admit, that will be a video or something, but others, it is books, puzzles, quiet time in his room. Maybe have some quiet toys/activities that are only used during quiet time, to keep his interest.

We have five year old twin boys on the street, and the parents said they went through the same thing, and they said it's a miserable, difficult phase that will pass. They would do as one other mom suggested, move up the bed time. Mine still has nap time at daycare, but they've been telling me he's been refusing to go down there, too, and boy do our evenings suck when that happends!! You got some good suggestions here. I have had success in just using the quiet time approach, he is sometimes ok with playing quietly in his room. Whatever you do, I would expect some intitial resistance, but hold firm, and if he understands you mean it, then he'll hopefully come around. Might be hard to do it at first. Three is a challenging time, that's all they do, is see what they can get away with!

Let us know how you make out, since I struggle as well with this right now.

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

A few weeks before my daughter turned 3, I eliminated her naps. She def did not mind cause that was more time for her and I. For the waking of the sister, I would spend time with him in a different room doing crafts or books, ect...just you and him. That could be some of your one on one time. Do to my daughter not napping, she is going to bed much earlier(7:45) and sleeping much better(till 7am).

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B.R.

answers from Allentown on

My daughter stopped napping at the age of 3. But I had to move her bedtime up because like your son her eyes were red and purple. So I just made her go to bed earlier. When your daughter is napping he should have quiet time away from your daughters room. Maybe have him lay on the couch and tell him he does not have to sleep but he does have to rest. Then when you put him to bed earlier and he does not want to go give him the choice of napping during the day or early to bed. Good luck!

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N.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

We had a similiar problem with our 3 1/2 year old until my husband realized that as soon as we get into the car, my son would request his MP3 player to sing along with his songs - within 10 minutes he was out. So now at naptime we let him put on his head phones and lay in bed - it has worked for the past 3 days =O}. Just be careful with the cord - we put his player above his head & remind him that he may not move around or Mommy & Daddy will take it & he has listened thus far. Maybe just even music. Good luck =O}

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H.D.

answers from New York on

My son is 3.3 and went through the same thing a couple of months back. Stop the naps. Really, its painful and hard to watch but the struggle to get them to nap is worse.

Give him downtime in the afternoon but let him stay awake. Give him dinner early and pull bed time up. It plays havoc with your own schedule b works. My son is sleeping at 6pm and wakes at 6 am. He's getting his sleep.

He does get cranky at times but just let him do what he likes without too much struggle and his body will adjust to the time, he will be less tired in a couple of weeks. At times when he is verytired let him nap. Soon everybody will adjust to teh new schedule.

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J.J.

answers from Altoona on

Hello K.!
Our son is 3 1/2 & has always been a great napper- until lately....I would always lay him down after lunch, but lately he is getting back up several times...soooo some days I wait until later in the afternoon (around 2) to lay him down- that works some, too. Over the weekend I was at my whit's-end/breaking point of repeating myself with him & I went to the kitchen & wrote his name of a spoon & said if he doesn't behave, I will use it on him....when nap time comes & I KNOW he needs a nap but is goofing off, all I have to say is, "do I need to get the spoon?" ~ so far, it has worked well at keeping him in bed & sleeping- so far ;)
Good luck with this- WE need that nap time (our quite me time) as much as they do~ for our sanities sake!!!
Have a Good Day!

C.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What i used to do with my daughter is lay in bed with her until she fell asleep. It works great. Also by that time its nice to take 20 minutes to rest. It will be easier too since your 15 month old is already asleep. My daughter is 4(5 in 5months) and still takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Also what works is give him something to look forward to after his nap (game, snack, etc) they usually get excited and then nap cause they know they have something waiting for them when they awake. I use that more now cause she is older. She still needs a nap cause she does the same your son does, purple/red eyes and is crazy around the 5/6 o'clock hour. Dont cut naps all together for him especially since you have one more on the way, you will need that quite time. Good Luck

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

The sleep issue and the tantrum issue are separate. You cannot force him to sleep, but you can enforce the rule, "No laying in the hall, kicking the gate and having a tantrum." Be sure to enforce this rule firmly with discipline as soon as he starts. Don't let it carry on or wake his siblings. The minute he gets out of bed and enters the hall, implement your most effective discipline. Once he learns this is not allowed, he will stay in bed quietly reading if he is not asleep. You're the boss! It's the only way to nip it in the bud and allow yourself some rest.

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A.S.

answers from Allentown on

Both of my boys stopped napping at 3, but I had to move up their bedtime to compensate. They still slept the same amount of hours during a 24 hour period, just not broken up, they did it in one stretch.

T.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

).

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C.M.

answers from York on

I reccomend trying to put him down for a nap an hour later than you currently do. Also, I suggest waking him up before his nap is over. If he used to sleep 2 hours during nap, wake him up after an hour. When you make his nap time later, you can have some one on one time with him while the baby naps and he might be more sleepy when it is time to go down. And by cutting the time of the nap in half, he will be more tired when he goes to bed at night. This is what we did with our son. He stopped napping at an early age too. best of luck.

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S.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Just ignore him! He'll tire himself out and eventually fall asleep. Put him in his bed, tell him it's time to take a nap/rest and walk away. If he gets up, put him back in his room without saying a word and walk out. Be like Supernanny! As long as your consistent he'll get the idea; 3yo's are really smart. If he knows he's getting your attention (good or bad) he'll do whatever it takes not to take a nap. Try putting him down before his sister so that he doesnt disrupt her. If he has a favorite show or movie maybe you can also put him in his room or on the couch to watch it and just simply rest a bit. If he's that tired he'll fall asleep. Good Luck!

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