I'm with you. First get the eating down, then the mechanics of the tools. Give him the fork and spoon each time and have him with you close by whenever you have meals so he can see you eating with your utensils but why make a war out something that can be taught later through modeling from you and other children you may spend time with at Mom's groups, play dates, and family/friends?
OH, I remember hearing that if you want to understand eating for your wee one to climb up on a ladder with a large salad bowl, oven mittens, and a wooden spoon THEN eat your Cherios. See if you don't decide it's just more sensible to eat with your bare hands? I love this illustration.
Imagine if you had to teach your wee one to use chop sticks at two...WHEW, I'm sure glad I lucked out on that one!!! :)