2 Year Old Gets into 6 Month Olds Crib in Middle of Night

Updated on January 03, 2008
J.S. asks from Eugene, OR
6 answers

So my two year old and my six year old share a room and recently I wake up early in the morning or last night at bedtime when my 6 month old was asleep to her screaming and my two year old in her crib. This has probably happened the last 5 days. We have talked to him about it a lot, given him spankings....I just don't know what to do. Finally last night I just set up the pack and play in my room and put my baby in there. I want to get them to learn to sleep in the same room but I am beside myself with this problem. Have any of you experienced this or have any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

So I do agree that more one on one time is important for my son. He does get a good amount of it and he loves his sister and we play together a lot. I have just put her in my room for now. I don't feel comfortable letting him sleep in her crib with her and we have gotten him new fun bedding so I appreciate your suggestions but I feel like I have kind of already covered most of those bases. I am a little hesitant to post more questions though because of how dogmatic people have been about the spanking thing.
I do agree that is isn't effective in this situation and I only did it the first two times. Mainly it seems to really scare her and I don't want him in there and accidentially kick her in the head or pull something off the wall onto her (which he does do.)
I have been working part-time the last couple months and the childcare isn't working out so I am going back to full-time at home and I think this may help too. I think my son hasn't been getting enough attention since I started working.

So I want this to be a good environment to get advice but I would appreciate not being treated like I am a bad parent. I admit most of the time I have a hard time in some areas but I try really hard. I think we can all say that. I would be open to more suggestions though! I promise I am not a child abuser. :) I just want my son to have self-control and learn boundaries since he is such a firecracker.

More Answers

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,

This sounds like a natural part of having a new baby. The first child is struggling with not getting as much attention. Do you involve the 2 year old with the baby? For example, ask the 2 year old to get a diaper or wipes, or something. It will help him to know that he is included and special. I can also say spanking is NOT the answer. I think you should not EVER do that unless the child is in danger or putting someone else in danger.

In this case, he is trying to show his baby sister love and protection, not hurt her. Even if he does miss being a baby and getting attention children love each other and it is up to us as parents to show them how to love the right way. I do think that until the 2 year old understands that the baby needs her own space, it would be a better idea to seperate them. I would say for your sanity as well as theirs. LOL

One other thought is to get your son a baby to care for. It could be a stuffed animal, or whatever. He can then be like mommy taking care of his baby instead of yours. :)

Blessings to you and your family...

K.S.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

My son did this with his brother, around the same age. I thought it was precious one time to walk in and see them both sleeping together. Maybe you could have them take naps together. My son only did this a couple times after he actually slept with the baby. But warn your son that he can't wake up his sister when she is sleeping. If you are not already doing so, I encourage you to set apart time when the baby is napping, to really spend focused time with your son. Reading books. Playing games. Making simple puzzles. Whatever it is. He will begin to really love and cherish his little sister and what to protect her. Try including him when you are taking care of the baby. Maybe have him bring you a clean diaper or the wipes. He may really like that he has a part in caring for baby. And his personality needs would be fulfilled. He is still adjusting to a little one being around, and maybe to feel like he still has things under control. Don't give up it will be rewarding to see as they grow together and play together.
May you be blessed,
M.

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R.B.

answers from Spokane on

maybe he is feeling that you give the baby more attention - if he thinks this he will want to be a "baby"
make sure you make pleny of time for JUST you and him with NO baby in sight. This should satisfy his need for you.

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T.N.

answers from Portland on

You might try a crib net. You might also try a monitor so that you can hear the two year old when he gets up BEFORE he gets to the crib.

Best of luck,
T.

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C.C.

answers from Portland on

I don't think the baby would cry unless the 2 year old is doing more than just climbing into the crib. Infants usually love to sleep with another human body next to them. In fact, they will sleep more soundly. If your 2 yr old were only climbing in to sleep, then you wouldn't know about it until morning when you find him in the crib. Your 2 yr old may be climbing in just for the attention it gets him when he makes the baby cry. Spankings also are working against you - not for you. Look at the result - he continues the same behavior. When a toddler craves attention - any attention will do - even negative attention. I agree with the person who suggested that he be included with caring for the baby. If you could figure out how to include both children as much as possible, he needs to claim the baby as his own instead of resenting her and wanting to make her cry in order to bring attention to HIM. What would be so wrong with letting him sleep with the baby, if he saw it as his job to help her sleep through the night? I think it is very possible to work toward that goal and it would totally change your 2 yr old if he saw the baby as HIS baby, too. He's not too young to experience love and responsibility toward a sibling and it will set the tone for their relationship throughout life.

At 6 months, your baby must be beginning to play, be sitting up - find ways for the 2 yr old to play with the baby (with a LOT of supervision until you know that the 2 yr old has totally accepted the baby) - stacking blocks, sorting colored rings - typical 6 month toys. If the baby isn't doing this yet, she will be soon and with interaction wtih a toddler sibling, she might become interested sooner. Getting siblings to interact and love each other is one of the best gifts you can give them and YOU. I rarely see it in American families. I see it often in immigrant families and it makes me very sad. Sibling rivalry is not normal - it's just a norm that we accept in this culture because we aren't willing to try for something better.

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J.G.

answers from Anchorage on

why are you spanking him? I am not against that for certain infractions but if he wants to sleep with the baby, why not? I found my kids slept much better through the night if they slept together. Your son is only 2 and may not understand what it wrong with what he is doing. If he is waking the baby up by getting in there, then perhaps put them to bed together. If he is only 2 it is probably not that long that he was moved from that crib into a different bed..and may be jealous. (my first kid would bet back into his crib when I put him in the toddler bed - we would put him in there at night, but I found him in the crib in the morning!)

maybe let him sleep with the baby for a while.. then when you can afford it..buy him some new sheets for his bed or a special blanket to help him want to go back to his other bed.

If it were me though.. i would let him sleep with the baby... and as long as I thought he understood that he cannot wake the baby up (this might be a hard concept for him).

and another thing: he is getting attention from you this way.. even if it is negative attention, it may be worth it to him... so some more one on one positive attention during the day might help too. (which I realize might be difficult with a 6 month old.. but surely she takes naps during the say or can sit in a swing while you read him books?)

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