2 Year Old Bedtime Madness!

Sigh, we are still dealing with this to a certain extent with our 3.5. To the point of having a behavioral conference with her pediatrition.

His advice was to have a short bedtime routine, a firm bedtime (meaning that the routine gets cut when bedtime is reached) and to spend a week or two sitting outside her room and putting her back into bed every time she gets out.

Well, it mostly worked. She does go to bed more easily now, after 4 weeks. The habits are working, I've noticed that the more tired she is the worse her responses are (also a few days before the full moon are bad - I'm not kidding!). It only took 2-3 days of listening for her getting out of bed and all the changes got blamed on the Dr. so she couldn't argue. She still has her moments - like the other day when she was screaming for and hour- but we deal with them as best we can.

S.

Well you've mentioned your reward and punishment system but what is your ROUTINE? Do you cut out all sweets and food after dinner time? Do you have a relaxing bath, snuggle and read time? What is she doing immediately prior to your wanting to put her down? If she is doing something stimulating then yes, she is going to be hard to peel off the walls... My suggestions are:
a) Definitely cut back or out the naps. At this point a 45 minute nap in afternoon should suffice unless you have had a really busy morning.
b) Drop the sticker chart down to something more managable. Chuck E Cheese is a nice reward but save it for a little later... go for and extra book if she gets in bed by the time the timer goes off.
c) set a kitchen timer and have her race to see how fast she can get her teeth brushed, jammies on, and books picked out for bedtime. If she makes it in time give her an extra book (we max at 3 per kid), if she doesn't then take one book away. But ALWAYS, have that down time...she needs it.
d) Perhaps she is at a stage where she is just demanding more attention. My kids had what I called an "arsenic period" at this age and it was ALWAYS at dinner time...without fail, complete meltdown and would only stop if I stopped everything and snuggled with them on the couch...needless to say my husband became proficient at making dinner!
e) she could be OVERTIRED...if this is the case, lay down with her for a few minutes. Rub her back, sing her a song...or get a cassette/CD player and put some tunes on for her to listen to. Give her quiet time to rest her mine and body. If all you do is run around, then this is what she has learned...everyone needs down time and kids need to be taught what that is and how to do it.
f) if all of these suggestions fail, I would suggest talking with your pediatrician...there may be an ailment that has been overlooked that may be causing her to act this way.

Irregardless, I suggest a healthy dose of patience. Talk with your child and get her to express her emotions to you and find out what is really going on in that little head of hers. She's not doing this to drive you crazy...there is some need driving it and it's your job to find out what it is. Like an infant, she doesn't know how to express herself yet and it's frustrating to her and yourself. Take time, slow down and figure it out...you did though infancy, you can through this! And when it's all done and she's asleep, take a nice long bath for yourself or have a nice cup of tea! Good luck!

Well, some people might say this is the wrong thing to do, but I let my daughter watch a movie in bed at night. I set the dvd player to shut off after a time, and she's already asleep by then anyways. It keeps her in bed. There are occasions when we are out visiting family and get home late, and I just say no movie tonight, and it seems to work. I only do "big movies" not just videos with several episodes. I have found that with a short show, she gets up after the episode, while a long movie just keeps her attention, she's already sleepy so she just falls asleep. She has limited daytime tv watching. She is a VERY willful child, so I'm happy to have found something that has worked for us.

Hi L.,
You didn't mention using a switch on her bottom (a small tree branch or a dowel rod). You are allowing her to rule your roost and obviously this isn't working out well for you. I'm betting if you take her to bed, let her know what the rules are and tell her she will be switched for disobeying the rules she will test you. And of course being the "in charge Mom" that you are you will follow through with a swift switch on the bottom and a firm assurance that you mean what you say. You will then start the procedure over by placing her back in bed, restating the rules and telling her she will be switched if she continues to get out of bed. You may have to go through this procedure a couple of times because you have allowed her the freedom of testing you. Don't be fooled...this isn't a stage like many others will tell you. This is a battle of the wills and right now you are losing. To win this battle you must be consistent above all else. If you say you are going to switch her for her disobedience then you must follow through with the switch. It needs to sting so she knows Mom means business. Blessings, L.

I find the baby's Daddy has no problem putting my grandson to bed, but his mom, does I think it is there personal style. My daughter tends to play with him before he goes to sleep, my son in law is very matter of a fact it is bed time and we all tried. He is very firm. And it works for him every time. I know routine always helps.

We have two boys in toddler beds in one room. Here is what we do:

bar all interior doors (closets, linens, etc)
bar/tape/otherwise close the dresser drawers so they cannot be opened
take all toys out
keep a consistent bedtime routine (for us it's diaper, pjs, pray, sing, down)
turn on white noise (they cannot reach the humidifier in their room; it's on a really high shelf with no possibility of climbing to reach it)
let them sleep as long as necessary in the morning (within reason; they need to leave for day care by 7:30 am, so I'll change diapers and clothes in their beds at 7:15 if necessary)
close the door for bedtime and not open it until after they are asleep

Sounds rough and mean, but it works. Our two boys are champions at going down to sleep!