My 2 1/2 year old and 6 month old started staying with a sitter at our home for 5 hours two mornings a week because I needed to work. After 2 weeks, our sitter was unable to continue (family emergency unrelated to the kids) and we hired a second sitter. She has been coming for about 1 month now and my 2 1/2 year old girl has started displaying behaviors we have never seen before, not with us, previous sitter, grandparents, occasional nighttime kid sitters, sunday school teachers - no one. She (after potty training with only 2 accidents several months ago) has peed on the floor almost every time this new sitter has come. She has thrown food, cried so hard she vomited once, and she even bit her little sister three times on the ear the other day. She insists that the new sitter is not her friend, and though I tell her that the new sitter is my friend and i would like her to behave for her, she continues to act out. Our infant does great with this new sitter and we know the lady and are comfortable that she is reliable and safe, but for some reason there seems to be this personality conflict with her and my 2 1/2 yr old. Her response to the situation is that it will take consistency and patience. I just hate seeing this side of my 2 1/2 yr old i never have seen before, and I don't know if we should look for another sitter, or if she would act this way regardless, or even if another change would be even more difficult!?!?!
get a new sitter sounds like something is up she is scared to tell you
Sometimes personalities simply don't "click". If this was week #1 I would say not to worry about it, but it's been a month. I would suggest having the sitter come over while you are home, but "doing something" and observe them interacting. Maybe she isn't nice to your daughter- "reliable and safe" doesn't necessarily mean "fun and engaging".
She didn't act this way before and doesn't with anyone else... the behaviors only occur around one person. I would start looking for someone new. I would also have your next potential sitter spend some time with your toddler with you present before "hiring' to make sure that you aren't in the same boat again!
I would go according to your child.
It is not a good fit, or something is going on which she cannot explain, being she is 2.5 years old.
Go according to your child.
Get a new Sitter.
Is there any way you can record the interactions between your 2yo and the sitter when you're out of room (nanny-cam kind of thing)? That might be illuminating.
It could be as simple as the 2yo, being 2 is in the 'terrible two' stage, and on top of that is having a lot of stressful changes for her--you're not there 24/7 anymore, and on top of having to adjust to a new sitter, she's having to adjust again when the first one left...
You might also talk this over with other caregivers (grandparents, Sunday school teachers, etc.) and see what they think--they know your child well, too, and may have some insights that we, who have never met your LO, could never have.
However, even if nothing showed up or came out showing an issue, my instinct would be to give it another couple of weeks, but if things didn't noticeably improve, chalk it up a personality conflict and find a new sitter.
She's 2. It's called terrible twos. I don't think it's necessarily the sitter. Your daughter is still getting used to you being gone and acting out because she doesnt want you to leave. She probably says the sitter isnt her friend because the sitter is telling her that bad behavior is inappropriate or punishing her for it. If it were me, I would drop in early a few times without notice, or come back after I had left to surprise them and catch the sitter off guard. Just to make sure nothing was going on. Also, I think it's your daughter's age. She's just starting the trouble...tantrums, accidents, biting and all that...
As a mother, I ask... Why make your child uncomfortable in her own home by employing a sitter she does not embrace.
As a law enforcement officer, sometimes you think you know a person ... until they are accused, arrested, caught doing things you never would dream happening. Ask your daughter questions no parent ever wants to ask (I.e. If she's been touched inappropriately in private places? If she is made to touch the sitter?). There is a reason your child is acting out.
As a parent it is your responsibility to find out what's happening. Don't forgo asking the hard questions because this lady is your friend. Your child is your first priority. Do everything you can to make sure she is in an environment that she can thrive in and feel safe!!
