2 1/2 Year Old Pinching

I agree with all the postings to an extent.
However, I say give her a little pinch back. Not enough to hurt her, but just to let her know - it's unpleasant. The other big thing is to take your attention away from her. She will understand that.

My son went through a biting stage (at about 2 1/2 years old)and I did all the "right" responses - redirecting, time out, etc. Finally one day I had had enough and did what my granny told me to do months ago - he bit me on the arm, and I simply took his arm and gave it a little gentle bite. Not enough enough to make a mark. Well, he didn't like that one bit and pitched a fit, but he never bit me or anyone else every again. Also, my son never started biting or anything else until he started preschool and was around kids whose parents who thought their "non-violent" approach would result in desired behaviors. They were some bad kids. You have to find a balance between new school and old school. As my granny said, some behaviors are what you call "non-negotiable". Meaning, they warrant immediate action.

As far as long term effects of negative response...blah blah blah. Yes, you can redirect and role model all you want, but sometimes action is what you need to get a child's attention. Why don't you ask all the teachers you know about how differently behaved children are now than they were even just 10 years ago. They will tell you kids are much more poorly behaved and socially maladjusted. Because we have shied away from taking a firm stance on behaviors that are not acceptable.

Simply remove what she wants...your reaction and attention.

After she pinches you, abruptly put her down, give her a stern "no", and turn your back on her. Ignore her and go about your business.

As soon as she sees you will not engage her when she hurts you, she'll lose the behavior.

This may sound harsh, but pinch her the same way and she will get the message. She won't do it again. If you don't she may do the same to the new baby and you don't want her pinching him. This is beyond the cut stage.

Have you tried putting her down when she does this? That would probably deter her in addition to grabbing her hands and telling her no. Kids love to be held and close to their parents, so taking away that privilege when she misbehaves should have an affect.
Hope it improves!

It takes 21 days to extinguish a bad habit so to speak. If you have responded consistently to your daughters pinching behavior for a few weeks, try ignoring it....

You are doing exactly what you should do. It does take time for the behavior to go away. Keep modelling "gentle" and other alternatives. Children her age don't fully understand no in the same way we do (this is not my idea but a lot of clinical research) and so modeling or redirecting is more effective. other approaches such as timeouts, yelling, doing what they are doing to them, all have negative longer term consequences. So keep doing as you are doing and also showing her how to stroke rather than pinch. It will pass. Also if you see it coming, avoid it and if she is stressed, work out what the stressor is so as to avoid it. good luck.

It has been my experience that you don't reason with children that small. It doesn't hurt to tell them...but you have to show them... you need to do the same thing to her and then tell her NO. Even if it hurts and even if she cries. Do it every time and she will stop when she doesn't want that done to her anymore. I promise it works. Hope this helps.

K. P