2 1/2 Year Old Is Scared of All Potties - How Do We Potty Train Her???

If you haven't already done this, allow her to accompany you to the bathroom. Watching someone she trusts might help. You can reassure her that "everything is okay". Sometimes kids fear that they are losing a part of themselves and she might need reassurance here. Also, take time to point out that every living creature uses some type of potty. Besides humans, point out dogs or cats and pottying outside or the litter box.

It somtimes helps to take her potty into the bathroom when you invite her in to watch you. Allow her the choice of using it. Never force and never bribe.

Congratulate her sincerely when she makes her choice to use the potty.

Love and reassurance will help her immensely.

Good luck

C....
She may or may not be ready yet. Some kids are ready at this age and some others not. I'd suggest you to give her a little break for several days (may be a couple of months). After she takes a "break" ask her if she would like to have another potty, if she says "yes", take her to the store and get another one (sorry!) chosen by her. When you get home, take a look at the new potty together and let her play with it a few minutes, and ask her to take it to the bathroom. In the bathroom show her again what she can find in there (toilet, flush, bath tub, etc) After that, you tell her that the next day or when she feels the need to go, you will "visit" the bathroom together, and you will be there to help her. Before going together, put a small radio w/ CD player and play a nice and soft music (children's, or Mozart or something you know she likes) and a little basket with fun books (especially about potty), stay with her. Go to the bathroom together every day at the same time whether she feels the need or not (at this point you may know the time she needs to go if not help her to make a routine like after she gets up, every 2 hours or so, before going to bed, etc..) ) . Make it fun, but first you have to show her a "change" (new potty, nice environment..etc...) and start all over again.
In case she is not enthusiastic in changing her potty, just keep the same and do the rest of the things I told you. Let her know very clearly that she is doing a good job just by making an effort ("next time you will, it's OK"), and show her and remark her "achievement" when she does ("great job!", "you can do it"! ....etc) or whatever you feel she will be happy with (may be bubbles, or stickers, or chalk ...)With the passing of time, they' ll forget about these little rewards, remember they grow up and the fact becomes a natural part of their lives.
I hope this helps! Just try it! If nothing else works, she is not ready. I started to potty train (day time) my kids at exactly three year old, both of them. It took me a week. I wanted to be sure they wouldn't have regression later and avoid all the struggles and pressure. It worked!
Good Luck!!!!

You need your daughter to be mostly trained by three? That's an unusual situation, and it may not take your daughter's needs into account. You can probably find a way to force her through it, but that happened a lot in my generation (I'm 62), and more that a few of my contemporaries had shame, anger, body and authority issues to work through as adults (and a couple of them never succeeded). Potty training trauma was one of the quirky issues of my generation, when it was believed you could manage and mold everything about a child's behavior based on adult needs and preferences.

You might consider backing away from the training for a month or two, then reintroduce it by educating her slowly, as Sharilyn suggests, with kids books (and videos) about toileting, body function, etc. If she's not feeling pressured, she's more likely to be able to take in and process alternative information better.

My son had this same problem and there really isn't an easy solution. It is very frustrating!! Here are a few things we tried
*Buy a toilet brush and let them help clean the toilets (supervised)
*Take pictures of a few different types of toilets and make a collage to hang in her room
*Find a picture of the digestive system and explain what happens to food after we eat it and then after it is flushed away
*Let her watch you and her siblings use the toilet frequently
*Let her drop Cheerios into the toilet, watch them float and then flush them away (our son wouldn't do this, but it was recommend to us by others)
*If it is the flushing that scares her, wait to dump the potty chair in the toilet and flush it until after she leaves the room.
When our son was 3 1/2 we talked to his doctor and then took him to a psychologist and she reassured us we were doing everything right. (At this point he would pee in garbage cans, outside or the bath tub, but not the toilet) The fear is real and just takes time and repeated exposure to solve. Our son finally potty-trained when he was 4 1/2, but still at 6 1/2 won't use public toilets. It takes a lot of patience and time. Good luck!
Good luck and I hope you can resolve this earlier then we did!

Our son had a fear of public toilets. I'll tell you what worked ... now, this is goofy, but I thought I'd throw the idea out there. Basically, I went up to the potty and tapped it with my hand. I said something like, "Are you a mean potty? Are you going to say mean things to me? Are you going to hurt me? Or are you a nice, quiet one? Oh, you're a nice, quiet one. You're not making any noise, so you must be nice." It was a goofy routine, but our son laughed and from that point on had no issues. Prior to that, he would get in a fearful, crying rage about going anywhere near a public toilet.

have you asked her what makes her scared? Maybe if you could find out exactly what it is about the potty that scares her, you can then come up with a solution for helping her overcome that fear. Maybe even have the 2 older girls play along and help little sister not be afraid. let them take her in there and show here how they go potty? Worth a shot anyway. Good luck.

I hesiitate to tell you how we did it. Our daughter had a pathalogical fear, she was beyond three, and it was not getting any better and she needed to be trained. I took a full day, and I held her on the toilet. It was not fun for her or fun for me, and she cried and fough me. After that day, she could use the toilet. She has OCD and anxiety, and it was just time to tackel it. I wish I had a gentler kinder way. Nothing else worked.

M.