2 1/2 Year Old Being Independent

I don't think you are asking to much of him at all. I have a 19 month old and even though she is not fully potty trained she can pull down her pants. When we get ready to take a bath, I will tell her to take off her shirt and pants. I might have to pull the pants down a little sometimes to help her get started, but she will finish it and then put it in the hamper. She will then take her diaper off and throw it in the trash can. I have been cueing her and praising her at every step, but she is doing it on her own. Now she is doing some of it automatically, without the cues, so I just give her the praise.

I recommend reading the book "Raising an amazing child the Montessori Way." It has a lot of good practical advice for encouraging our toddlers to become independent, which builds their self-esteem. Try praising and encouraging him to do things on his own, instead of doing it for him. When he asks you to something you honestly think he can do on his own try saying things like, "If anyone can do it, I know you can." or if he has a problem you think he can handle on his own, "If anyone can figure it out, I know you can," so it turns into a positive things that builds him up. Let him make his own choices as much as possible, so he learns to depend on himself instead of you for everything.

Well I think all kids develope their independence at their own pace. I have a daughter who just turned 2 in October and she gets bent out of shape if I don't let her do something. She sets the table at dinner time (salt and pepper, napkins, forks....no glass stuff though....I even got her an apron to put on for her special chore), she gets me extra rolls of toilet paper while I am sitting on the toilet.......and they are all the way in the hall way, helps me stir cake mix with a beater (she just has her hand on handle with mine. I have just tried to encourage her to help me with everything. If you make it fun they will do just about anything. I am also pregnant with my second daughter and I really wanted her to be able to help me get diapers or pajamas etc for the new baby so she doesn't feel left out. So I think if you just really lay on the encouragement and don't get discouraged with his stubborness he will eventually see how it is fun and mommy is full of praise when you help her. Start with something fun like making cookies and let him put them on the tray.....or let him brush your hair.....just little stuff to get him going....Good luck

Every child is different. For a long time, all our son could do was tell us he needed to go potty. We had to help with everything. You can encourage him. We made it a game. How fast or how much could he do. Racing helped, so I would tell him to see if he could be sitting on the toilet before I finished what I was working on and could get there. He loved the challenge of beating mommy.

Also, you don't say when you're due. Is he feeling that he's being replaced and wants you to know he really needs you? Just before our second one was born (they are 3 years apart, almost exactly), our oldest started to ask questions about how it was all going to work with the baby. We finally figured out that he thought there was only room for one baby and he wanted to be it. He didn't want to have to go live with somebody else so we could have a new baby.

Another thought on the bathroom, are you dressing your son in clothes big enough that they coem up and down easily? For our son that meant pants, especially underwear being a bit too big. GL

K

Well, while I cannot respond to your specific questions, I can offer a little advise. I am a 52 (almost 53) year old Mom. My son was very hard to train. He had a sister a little bit less than 2 years younger.

It was very difficult to potty-train my son; why should he have to, she doesn't and so goes the story.

My daughter was "much" easier. She had a terrible diaper rash and I simply explained one morning that we would not be using diapers anymore because her bottom needed to heal. While it did take me 3 hours that morning to shower, dress, put the make-up on,etc., she did make it. She never peed in her pants during the day again. It took a couple of month to conquer the night-time pees, but not long.

By this time, of course, her brother had succeeded in both regards. My only suggestion would be to have her watch you or your husband poop in the toilet. It does seem to help a lot. While seemingly a little gross, show them how it is done.

My grandson had to have penal surgery when he was around 8 months old. He did not want his Mother or I to touch him there for quite a while. In fact, he really still doesn't like it that much; "says it tickles." This is at bathing time, so please don't get me wrong.

Let your child watch you - poop, pee, whatever. It's a bodily function that needs to be shared.

My husband taught my son how to pee in the toilet by making bubbles - how fun. They also both learned how to clean off the walls, toilet and surrounding areas; at least it worked.

Let your child watch.

In addition, don't push your boy. Let him watch his father. For whatever weird reason, boys are harder to train. The more you push, the more he will resist.

J.

every child developes at different speeds. If he is an only child, he may develope a little slower then a child who has siblings to model after. 2 year olds are a bit challenging because at times they want to exersize their independence, and other times they need help and reassurence from mom or dad. THey need this to feel safe and secure.
The great thing is that he is using the potty! :) Before you know it, he will be doing it all by himself, and he wont need your help. But until then , be there for him.
I have a 3 year old. When it comes to the potty, some days she wants privicy to do it all by herself, and other days she wants me near and needs a little help. With time, the days of wanting privacy become more frequent.

In my opinion, a child doesnt become really indepentant until the age of 4. At this age , their cordination is better, they can problem solve better, and they can entertain them selves for longer periods of time.

Best of luck to you. Heidi

If at 2 1/2 your child does not learn to be more independent in his daily activities he will become very accustomed to you just handling it. Obviously there are things he needs help with to do well like teeth brushing and wiping. He should be learning how to dress himself, eat his own food etc.... My suggestion is to talk to your doctor about his progress. See if he/she suggests some testing to make sure there are no delays happening here.If there are not (which is what is most likely) then go ahead and start expecting things of your child. Part of this is going to be a power struggle. Our children like to know that we are in charge and the way that we prove that to them is through our actually being in charge. Yes assist him, but don't do for him.

Keep babying him,he seems to need the attention, and soon it will be harder for you to give him this with a new one on the way, take advantage of this opportunity. It will help to give him more attention even when he doesn't appear to require it- special time is important right now to him. Many times this will actually spark independence in and of itself. Many times they act very needy just to get special time from mom (or dad).
Giving special time when not asked, is a sure way to get him to act less needy.

A lot of what you will deal with isn't about what is normal at his age, however power struggles at this age! He will all of a sudden want his independence and you will be blown away. I know with my daughter it took her longer then with my second. My second was so eager to be like his big sis and very independent dressing himself, feeding himself a lot sooner. Just encourage him constantly, don't make it a battle either. Give him choices like which socks, which shirt, tell him constantly how proud you of him being a big boy. Being a big boy will be important soon enough and getting him to feel that way before the baby comes is super important as he will regress possibly with a new baby getting attention for being a baby. Ask him to go get his shoes, make it a game and really praise him. Do a little bit each day and just try and make it fun and if he isn't ready not a biggie, it will come in time.

my daughter is the same age and she wants to do everything on her own... she doesn't even let me stand in the bathroom with her because she wants to do it all by herself.

My sisters kiddo who is 3 days younger then mine likes to do everything herself too, but wants someone in the bathroom with her when she goes.

I guess every kid is different, and I know boys are very different from girls.

I wouldn't say you are asking too much of him especally since you have another on the way, but I wouldn't push too much on him, just keep sugesting he do it on his own.

good luck! let me know how it goes! :)

Watch out, M.! My son didn't (or rather, I didn't let him) do much of anything on his own.... Put on socks, shoes, pants and other things like that at 2 1/2, either. It was always faster for me to do it anyway, so I never really gave him the chance. Then I started to wonder if I was babying him and if he was going to fall behind in developing these skills, then all of a sudden, near 3 years old, he jumped into, "I DO IT BY MYSELF" mode. Everything! Making PB&J's, putting on his coat, shoes, pants, getting his own drinks. I know for my son, at least, he let me know when he was ready to do it on his own. He wants to make dinner by himself (sounds silly, right? He thinks it's toatlly logical), he wants to buckle himself in the car, unbuckle.... Everything takes a little longer now, but I'm also needed a lot less, which is nice.

I have a 2 1/2 year old as well. I find that it is all in my approach. If I make it sound fun and like "hey, you want to help mommy?" He is all into it. He loves to help. He also wants to do things on his own at times and at other times every thing is "I can't, you do it". It depends on the moment of the day, how much sleep he got the night before, if it is almost time for a nap, etc. I agree that all kids are different and get their in their own time for the most part. Maybe if you change your approach about having him pull his pants down, that might help?