1St Grade Teacher Misspells My Child's Name.

My husband STILL spells my son's name wrong. It's ridiculous. The boy is 11 for crying out loud!!
For some reason he always switches the "a" and "h" in Elijah. English is his second language so maybe that's why he does that. I don't know. Now it's just a joke between us.
I say, Chill.
L.

43 responses in, I am clearly in the minority here. Honestly this is not the hill I would die on and I would teach my daughter that there are going to be MANY hills in life and there are some things you just need to let go, this being one of them.

BTW, I've been married 18 years and my aunt always spells my last name wrong. I could careless. At least she cares enough to write me.

My parents spelled my name and my sister's with "different" spelling - they are both easy names

Patti and Kristine
EVERYONE spells it the way they do, all the time.

Patty and Christine - all the time. Sigh. Don't waste anger on it. It happens.

As a T. I have had people misspell my name Theresa my whole life. It's annoying but I never let it get to me.
I would have your daughter point it out, again, nicely, but I probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
(And FYI, it's misspell, not misspelle, just saying!)

Are you sure it's the teacher spelling it incorrectly?

Your child needs to speak up and tell the teacher how to spell the name correctly.

(Misspelles?)

I teach high school. I fondly remember the year I had six Ariels. Some pronounced it with a short a sound, others with a long a sound. Some had two Ls, some had one.

Some kids involved were tolerant of my mispronunciation, and others gave an audible "huff" and corrected me when I said the name incorrectly, even when I pointed out I had several to keep straight.

Teach your child grace and a way to lightly and in a friendly way correct folks on her name. No one intentionally tries to misspell a person's name.

I agree with Purple Mom: Have your daughter speak up and handle this. It's a good start on helping your child to know it's OK to talk to the teacher and it doesn't get her into trouble just to tell a teacher something simple like this.

Rehearse it with her a time or two but don't make a huge deal of it or you'll make her nervous. "Hey, Sally, I know you saw that Ms. X is spelling your name Sallie. Remember, you mentioned it to me? This is where you can be a big first grader and help yourself. When you are at recess today [or whatever is the best time for a kid in that class to see the teacher separately for a moment], do you want to just say, 'Ms. X, could we talk about my name? It's spelled Sally and not Sallie and I just wasn't sure you knew that. Thanks.'"

If your child is just too new to school to do that, bring it up if you have a parent -teacher conference coming up, just lightly: "Oh, by the way, I noticed on the worksheets you sent home that there's some confusion about Sally's name; it's Sally, not Sallie, so we just wanted to let you know."

I have had to correct 2 out of 4 teachers on the spelling of our last name. And this is on the little name card that goes in front of the kindergartener or first grader so they can learn to spell their name correctly..

I would not raise my blood pressure over ti.. but you want the child to learn to spell their name correctly.

so you can remind the teacher one last time.. and then drop it.. but then tell your child that ms. smith spells his name wrong but the correct way is....

My name doesn't look the way it is pronounced, so all through school, teachers and kids mispronounced and misspelled it. It made me very uncomfortable. It became a social barrier. Not one teacher ever bothered to correct it, even after repeated requests.
Don't let this slide. Keep reminding her. Your daughter deserves this basic form of respect.

My name, mispronounced and misspelled all of my life.

Lori, Lorrie, L., Laura

It is not a big deal in the long run, so you may want to jokingly remind her.. Hey, my poor child is going to think we do not know how to spell her name if you keep correcting it your way..

Or give her a photo of your child with your child holding up her name on a piece of paper.

No need to be snarky the way some of the responders have been, just graciously or humorously remind her. She is human you know?

I'm in the 'not worth a battle' camp on this one. Our daughter's name (Miriam) sometimes is mispronounced as Merriam in this part of the country, and while I could tell people repeatedly that it's 'MIRiam', it just doesn't seem worth it to me. Yes, the teacher is being a bit careless. I would be more focused, however, on how well she's teaching your daughter. If your daughter seems to be learning math well from her and she seems to understand your daughter as a learner, that's the most important thing.

Now, if it bothers your daughter and she wants to say something about it to the teacher (politely, or maybe with a bit of humor such as 'I'm-Kerry-with-a-y' for example) , that is a different matter and you can support her in doing it. I personally wouldn't make a big deal of it with the teacher, however, as the parent.

Give her a break....I teach and as long as I enter grades for the correct student, how I spell the name on papers, etc doesn't really affect anything. Grades are all computerized now, and I've NEVER entered the wrong grade or mixed up students on my grading system.

Let it go and tell your dd that she can let her teacher know how to spell it, but teachers are busy and they may not always remember little things. I always misspell my nieces name!

Haven't really read over the responses but let me put a personal view on this

My name is FrancEs but many people (even spellcheck) spell it FrancIs, well when I was in Catholic school years ago I had a Nun who taught us Religion and the way she helped us to remember the differences between Male & Female Saints was with this saying...." I is for HIM, E is for HER" and it is a fun way to remind people of how to spell my name without insulting them or making them feel stupid (even unintentionally).

So depending on the name maybe if you can find a way to help remind her it could help

My SIL has known me for over 10 years and still spells my name Jenn instead of Jen. She also spells my mom's name Maureen instead of Maurine, but I'll forgive that one a little more easily. She doesn't see my mom for than 2 or 3 times a year.

It's annoying, but it's not malicious. It's probably that she wrote it wrong one time and that spelling is just stuck in her mind.

I don't usually correct someone who is going to write my child's/my name once or twice. To me, that is a battle I choose not to fight. However, I do correct the person if they are going to be writing my child's name often (like, in your case, a teacher). And I correct them every time until they get it right. I'm used to it (I was the only 'E.' I knew when I was growing up), so the fact that people misspell our names doesn't make me angry or annoyed, it's just important to me that they get it right. Three of my kids have unusual, but not unheard of, names and one has a name my husband made up but with the change of one letter becomes a very common name. Once, because of a misspelling, my son's IEP was sent to the wrong address. THAT was a big deal, and one of the reasons I am so insistent about this issue.
I have never met a teacher that did not make the effort to learn and correctly spell each child's name, especially after being corrected. In your case, I think a short email reminding her of the correct spelling, every time, is warranted. She'll get it eventually ;)

My son in 5th grade had his name misspelled. and I believe also in middle school I would not worry too much about it.

Send her notes and spell her name wrong a couple of times. I bet she gets the hint and starts spelling your child's name correctly.

Happily, it IS something your daughter (daughter, right?) can deal with. She can quietly and politely correct her teacher. All you need to be is her backup, and resolve (with your child) that neither of you will take offense - you will just help the teacher learn something new.

My thought is that for some reason the teacher has a strong mental/emotional connection with the other version of the name - so strong that the other spelling is automatic with her. If that's the case, there isn't anything malicious about it. With enough correction, the teacher will start thinking, "Wait a minute - this is *different*, isn't it?"

My last name (don't tell anybody) is Lichlyter (lick-lighter). Back a few decades ago when I married, there was a famous fellow on TV whose last name was Linkletter. My mother automatically called my husband by the TV star's name. It was her default, I-don't-think-about-this mode. It took her a couple of years to get it really straight! By that time we were all laughing.

My grandmother STILL spells my name Tory instead of Tori... I'll be 22 at the end of this month. Lol!!!

When our son was in 1st and 2nd grade each child had their name neatly printed in large letters and taped to their desks.
This helped the teacher learn the kids names and it also helped the kids when they were learning to spell their own names.
Since your daughters teacher doesn't do this, maybe you could get your daughter a custom tee shirt with her name on it and have her wear it to school often.
If the teacher sees it in print often enough, the spelling will eventually click in her head.

However you handle it, do it nicely.

I would address it - gently - again and have your daughter do so as well. Regarding spell check - spell check isn't universal...she could have the way she spells it (incorrectly) in her computer's dictionary. Perhaps a student in a prior year spelled it that way or it accidentally got in there so now it auto-fills as she types. That's not an excuse, but it may explain why she doesn't see a glaring red squiggly line when she types it the way she does.

FWIW, people misspell my name all the time (Jenifer instead of Jennifer or Jenn instead of Jen) and I just live with it. I teach a few group classes a year and try really, really hard to remember my students' names - including how to spell and pronounce them - but sometimes I just have a mental block over certain names and I appreciate it when a student is gracious and forgiving and gives me a matter-of-fact correction, with a smile ("thanks for the note but it's Sarah-with-an-H" or "Oops I'm Dave, he's Dan").

People misspell my first and last names all the time. I don't care.

If it bothers your daughter, have her remind the teacher.

This reminds me of my son's first grade teacher who mispronounced his name. Every day. Even after he started responding with how to say his name right, even after PTC where I very deliberately said his name out loud several times. Never got it right! It's not even a weird name.

I would shoot her a quick email, or when you get a handwritten note, I would respond: "Was this intended for (your child's name)? I wanted to make sure because the name was spelled differently".

just wondering if the office has it wrong and so as teach was preparing room and everytime teach sees correspondence from office w your kids name it's wrong? or is it just the teacher handwriting it that is wrong?

I mention the office because perhaps you didn't print clearly when you filled out the forms.

I have a friend who has a PhD, is super, super smart. She's good with people, but spelling is not her mainstay, so she does rely on spellcheck.

I think you have to look at overall effort. I think she is *trying* do to the right thing and to correct it whenever spellcheck points out her 'mistake'. She's uncertain of her spelling and is deferring to something she thinks is better than her own brain when it comes this area. AND she is making an effort to communicate, which is something that not all teachers do. So, put that as a plus mark toward her.

My inclination would be to let it go and focus on more important things. Like, is she a good teacher? Is she able to explain the math concepts so your daughter is understanding the work?

I don't want to pick at you, but with so many varieties of name spellings, it's a lot to expect that the teachers always get it right 100% of the time. I've seen very, very good teachers accidentally call a Justin "Jonathan" or Suzy "Sarah". Even I have a hard time remembering that "Theresa" here is with an H while my dear friend "Teresa".... well, I spent the first three years of knowing her accidentally misspelling her name.

In the grand scheme of things, as far as teachers go, this is really small potatoes. I'd let it go. If the teacher is good in the classroom, not picking on your kid, your kid is doing well (and I don't know how misspelling her name will impact her academic development)... this is a great opportunity to teach your kid what is *really* important, how to appreciate peoples good qualities even though they do have flaws, and to model resilience and 'choosing your battles'. Personally, I try to save 'asking for the teacher's attention' for the bigger problems, like my kid not comprehending the information or a classroom dynamics situation. If you go right out the gate as the parent who insists their child be respected by having their name spelled correctly each and every time--- well, you are using up your capital, as it were. And as a teacher, I'd be less likely to think you weren't overreacting to the next problem you bring up. (Not that you would have a problem, just playing devil's advocate here....)

I'd drop her a note.

Yes that would frustrate me as well. Talk in a light manner to her teacher.

My name is misspelled all the time. As K. (with an i) everything I get is spelled Karen. I am sure that many teachers growing up misspelled my name and really I don't remember any of it now that I am an adult. I just don't let it bother me as it is just one of those things. I am sure that a teacher, who has so many students who spell their names different, must find it hard to get them correct all the time. I would just teach your child to just let it roll of their shoulder as it is going to happen their entire life as it does with mine. I don't ever let it bother me and find it is too much effort to correct people all the time. I know how my name is spelled and that is all that matters.

They constantly misspell my child's name on the school's website where they announce first honors.... I have mentioned it before and noted that since he worked hard for those honors that if they could please spell his name correctly, it would be very much appreciated.. Again, it was misspelled.. However, they do spell his name correctly on his report card, which I guess is what counts the most... It's not been uncommon for people to constantly misspell our name, they most often only use one C when there are TWO.........

Perhaps I am more sensitive about such things, but it would make me angry eventually. I am very forgiving about people in my life in general misspelling my name. They have since I was a child. I go by a nickname of my full name and it has several "traditional" ways to spell the nickname. No big deal when a friend or SIL or whatever does that. However, a teacher is a different matter, in my opinion.

It is part of her job to teach your child things, and she ought to give your child the dignity of spelling her name correctly. That's not just rudeness, but laziness. Neither of which is a trait I want my child's teachers to aspire. I expect that teacher would be correcting her paper if your daughter misspelled HER name (Ms. Jones became Ms. Janes, for example). She should MAKE the effort. Her students will be in her class all year. It is truly the very least she could do, make the effort to spell the names correctly.

Again.. friends, family, acquaintances... fine. Spell it correctly or don't. I will notice it (because I notice such things) but I won't take it personally. But a teacher? She needs to make the effort. Sorry. I find it lazy and disrespectful for a teacher to do that.

Next parent teacher meeting bring it up. We notice that your spelling Suzanne name wrong would you please correct it?

My name is spelled wrong ALL THE TIME! It drives me nuts!!

Next time you see the teacher, just say "I wanted to bring to your attention that we spell Betty's name with a y and not an ie."

I don't think you are asking for too much!

Send her lots of notes for a few weeks. Misspell her name on every single one of them. When she says something say something like "Well, since you misspell my daughters name each and every time you right it I figured you liked that sort of thing".

Sorry, I'd have already told her I'd like for her to send home 100 sentences using my child's name with it spelled correctly...lol.

I would just keep reminding her. It could be that she has a close friend or relative with the same name, but different spelling and that spelling is just so ingrained that it is a hard to break the habit of spelling it that way. It's no big deal. Better yet, just teach your daughter to remind her. My name can be spelled with a "y" or and "I" and as a child I always had to remind teachers that I was with an "i". It really wasn't a problem.

I'm sure that the mistake is nothing intentional and that sending a reminder email about the correct spelling would not be an issue. I would also have your child tell the teacher when they find their name spelled wrong as well. If it continues to happen I would send back the papers with the name misspelled with a note that says. " I want to make sure these papers are for my child, since the name printed is not how my child spells their name. I wouldn't want to hold onto papers meant for another parent or keep sake work that was not done by my child."
Just an idea :)
Just now in 5th grade my child has a teacher who spells her name wrong and it bugs me. If it happened consistently I would not be able to let it go.

Good Luck

Be nice about it - but say or write a quick note - something like "I realize you have a lot of kids to care for, and in the scheme of things this isn't a big deal - but would be so kind to spell Sarah's name correctly (with the H) in the future? I appreciate it!"

Have your daughter correct her. I was a middle-namer, and constantly had to inform my teachers of what name I went by. It look about 3 weeks in to get it right, but still. Every now and then it would creep up, esp during roll call.

Spelling, as well as many other specific types of memory (like for names and dates, faces and smells, math and language skills) are controlled by specific parts of the brain, which are less or more developed in every one of us. I really doubt that the teacher misspells on purpose, or that she doesn't care. It's a handicap for some people.

My advanced English teacher couldn't spell, but he was a fantastic teacher, much loved by his students. My husband, who writes science curricula for a living, misspells often. My spelling is great, but I seriously struggle to remember/match names and faces, and have offended people with that embarrassing deficit. I would happily accept a cure if there was one.

I would just have your daughter gently correct her again.

My daughter's name is Annalise which has German origins. The German spelling is Anneliese. People have tried to use that spelling. When she was younger her brownie leader would always spell it that way, even on certificates. I would have to ask for those to be corrected.

My youngest's name is Brendan. I can't tell you how many people call him Brandon. I used to get super aggravated by it. Now I just say "Oh, Brendan?". And for the spelling, I will see Brendon even though his name is spelled in the traditional way.

One of life's little annoyances. Hopefully her future teachers won't have this problem.

The next time a note comes home with the wrong name, make a note back and say that your child's name Susan, not Suzanne, and please update the child's files.

My cousin's SO has a name that is an odd spelling and I used the traditional spelling after only hearing the name and not seeing it in print. I was MORTIFIED to find out I was wrong. I would think the teacher would want to fix it.

My daughter's had this issue most of her life. She has attended pre-k and VPK in schools that only spoke Spanish, and her name in Spanish is spelled with a "C", whereas I spell it with a "K". She would correct the teacher many times, but the teacher kept doing this. I think it was just a language barrier and being distracted, not the teacher's way of arguing with me on how to spell my kid's name! Anyway, my daughter would grab a pencil and correct the spelling if they didn't do so and tell them it was spelled with a "k".

They mispronounce her name at the pediatrician's office all the time and even though I correct them, they keep doing it. We just gave up. My daughter knows how to spell and pronounce her name and that is all that matters. We'd rather let it go than argue or create enemies out of such a non-issue.

Bring it up again. Say something like: I'm sorry to bring this up again, but you have still been spelling my child's name wrong. I know you have a lot of names to remember. His is spelled _____.

Maybe you could even think up a little trick to help her remember it.

Is she the one writing the correspondence? Sometimes the other helpers do it. When I was in k each mom helper wrote it different. So it may not be the teacher. Do teach your child this will happen their whole life. But kindly remind the teacher of the misspelling. At this age it is important for the child to know who they are which is also reinforced with their name.

I like the idea of letting your daughter handle it at school, but you can/should reply to EVERY bit of correspondence from the teacher. I would use a red pen to correct her name on everything that I see it misspelled on.

When I was in school and beyond, people were misspelling and mispronouncing my last name. It's not particularly odd, but there is a slightly different spelling and pronunciation (one letter off) that is more common, and they liked to use that spelling and pronunciation. I corrected them every time. Even as an adult in a court room, I corrected the pronunciation. One teacher because pretty annoyed with me. She would mispronounce my name every single day. I would correct her each time. When I wrote my name on one assignment, I wrote that one letter bigger than the other letters. She never messed it up again. Later, I worked with a woman who told me that she was not going to pronounce/spell my name the wya that I did, because my way was wrong. I told her that I would not answer when she called, and I stuck to that. She decided to say my name.

Some people let it roll off their backs, and that is certainly their right. I can't stand it, though. I think that our names are so personal for us and the least that someone can do is try to say/spell it right. I mean, do I really have your attention, even, if you can't be bothered to say my name right? Why not just call me something altogether different? I think that it's rude and lazy not to put forth the effort.

Just tell your child to remind her. This makes a lot of people nuts. My name is always spelled wrong but I do t see it as a big deal.

I am not saying it's reasonable but I too get a heaping dose of annoyance when that happens.

My Billy is Isabelle and people seem compelled to call her Isabella. They eventually gave up and go with Billy.

My Rory is Rosamaria and again the compulsion to rename my kid. RosaMarie, Rosemarie.

My dds are named after people that mean the world to me I guess that factors in the annoyance.

Funny thing is that people often misprint and mispronounce my name and I could care less. I guess that is for my mom to be upset about lol.

Your child's 1st. grade teacher is annoying. I would call the school and speak with the Principal about this issue. If she refuses to spell your child's given name the way it is on (his) or her birth certificate, she is undermining your efforts. I would address the situation as soon as possible. In a round about way, she is sending a signal that you as parents have made a mistake naming your child and is correcting it when this is n o t her place to do so.

A teacher should be spelling your child's name correctly !

Kindly, write her a note ! Your child could mention it...

Could there be a typo on the class list?

When people spell my name Kristin...It drives me crazy.
The other day, a friend did this on an email...I kindly emailed her and told her I was a "ten" ...not a "tin."

Next time you have a meeting w/her or back to school night type of event,
remind her, "by the way, so-and-so's name is spelt like this".

I don't care if she's a math teacher as opposed to an English teacher.
She is a working professional & that should be part of her job.
It has to be written in several places that she should see it throughout
her work day.

I'd just send her a note.

I had a boss for 4 years - she could never pronounce my last name correctly. B*tch! :)