1St Grade Daughter Receiving Notes

Ditto what Jennifer said.
These kinds of things will happen all the time, especially with girls who are "catty" already and not so nice.

My girl is 5 years old, in Kindergarten, and some of her classmates are this way already. We teach our girl that she is her own person...NO ONE can take that away from her. We also teach her that she can tell us ANYTHING under the sun... the reason being is that we don't want her to "hide" anything from us and we want to keep an OPEN line of communication between our child and us. It provides a good foundation for later, and they will always know that they can come to us no matter what.

If it is a problem... talk to her teacher. In my daughter's class...her Teacher has a "rule" of "no notes" in class...they are also not allowed to tell "secrets" or to make fun of others. We reinforce this at home as well.

Yes, we need to teach our child about how to deal with "bullies" as well... as this is a rampant problem in our country and the ages are getting younger and younger. Start now, and nurture your child so they have a good self-confidence inwardly, and not having to rely on outside sources for validation.

Talk to your girl about these "notes." Let her ask you questions and explore it with her... "lead" her and guide her in learning why this is not a nice thing... teach her proper responses in what she can say to others if she gets picked on or manipulated. Role-play with her. It takes practice. That is what we do with my daughter... and it has helped. Even at my daughter's age, she knows what is right and wrong and when someone is trying to "trick" her or get her to do something that is not nice. My girl will even go and "protect" another child in the playground who is left out for some reason, and help the child. Nurture the inner child and give them strength to deal with situations.

I read a news article that said "10 is the new 15", meaning that nowadays, kids at 10 years old are more like 15 years old in what they know & do. For better or for worse. With that in mind, for me personally, we try to teach our children how to be and choose wisely... so as to lay a good solid foundation for them NOW, so that when they reach pre-teen and teen's age, it will hopefully circumvent any "rebelliousness" and/or damaging behaviors. And that also, they can come to their Mommy & Daddy for anything... no matter what we will be there for them. Nowadays, kids are so young to encounter these things, but that is what today is. They are exposed to so much more than when I was a kid.

Good luck and take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Your husband's opinion is idealistic. Unless one of you is attached to her then you won't be able to stop note passing. Your daughter is at that age where kids try to assert dominance over one another and find out their pecking order. It is important to talk about others feelings and respecting each other and that she should only give "nice" notes and NOT DURING CLASSTIME.
Girls especially are friends one day and not the next only to make up the following day and be best friends again. It will be hard to watch her go through this, but it is part of life. You can talk to the other girl's parents to make them aware, but don't get your feathers ruffled if they don't respond in a similar manner.
I think having her bring home all note is a good idea because you want to make sure she is not getting bullied. That is a whole other Oprah!!!

Umm, kids don't normally have pencils and paper at recess or lunch, so they're writing these letters during classtime which is bothersome to me. I would talk with her teacher and see if the teacher can talk with the students about writing notes in class, this might end the problem.

7 year old having bestfriends - writing manipulatives notes - and you're actually considering giving her choices at this age? I'm 100% on your husband's side on this, she's far too young to understand? But is she? I would definitely not allow her to except or give them for now, sometimes as parents, we have to put our foot down and it may not be what our children want, but sometimes it is what they need. Calling her BF's mother, at 7? Are you serious? What page are you on? Give the hardworking man a break and realize you can surely help him on this just by realizing it's absolutely rediculous - and these girls will definitely grow - and when the time comes, like all mothers of just about 99.99999999% of every teen girl will be confronted with every possible aspect of both parent's WITS ENDS! and until that time, take a deep breath, hold on to your husband for dear life and pray. You'll really need each other then and so will all your chldren.

7? While you still have control use it. I just can't get over the 7 and the BF......Next.