19Month Old Is Driving Me Crazy!!!

My best advice is to take action. Don't just say no, put an action with it. Make it mean something to him... I have a 3 1/2 year old and a one year old... First, I tell him no, (for example, "No hitting!", then I put the one year old in his crib RIGHT AWAY. I leave the room and close the door. That way, he's safe, but I get my message across with something he does NOT want to do - be alone in his crib awake. He screams, and I open the door to say, "No screaming." He screams more... I repeat the process until he calms down... even just a little bit... he's usually still sniffing and huffing and puffing, but he's not screaming. This takes a few times before he really understands, but now all I have to say is, "Do you want to go into bed?" and he stops the behavior. It's not easy, but it works. Give it a try.

I would have him assessed immediately. It will tell you if he has sensory &/or stemming issues. I would let him know in advance what your plans are for the day and stick to it as much as possible. Always ending with something he loves to do. If the day goes well then he gets to do the thing he loves, if not, then make it clear why it didn't happen (if it didn't take me so long to get you dressed then we could have had time for the park.). You can also break it up into little parts. If you had been better we would have had more time for lunch and you could have had desert. I would also cut out as much sugar, chocolate and high fructose corn syrup as possible. Cut juice with water. You may also want to try little meals all day because it could be a blood sugar issue or maybe he isn't getting enough sleep? BTW head hitting is not normal, but it is not unusual. He is getting frustrated and doesn't know how to vent. He needs to learn to express it in a way that doesn't hurt himself or others.

Hi, my daughter used to do most of those things also, I stay at home with her and she can get bored with me even if I play with her, so I started taking her out more often and let her play with other kids. Since I started doing that she has been a lot better, she doesn't cry when someone try to get close to her and say hi and she actually likes that now.
I usually take her in play areas for kids inside the mall, check first online for any mall it should tell you if they have one, and I just sit there with other moms and watch my kid play, and it gives me the chance to meet other moms.
I hope this helps, and yes its difficult to be at home with your kids, maybe you need to take a day for yourself once in a while, it works for me, it takes the stress out and I can deal better with her.
Good luck.

consistency! and a good time out place (personally i don't like to use a bed, as that should be a safe happy place to sleep, not a punishment place.) firm, immediate, calm, inexorable removal to the time out place and no negotiation. no anger either. it might make you nut up a little to have to do it over and over again until he gets it, but he will. kids really do crave good strong boundaries and you do yourself and your child a favor by providing them.
i do NOT think that hitting a child teaches them not to hit or bite.
khairete
S.

It sounds like he is attention hungry..... not saying you are not giving him enough attention...it sound like you are.. but it might be a different kind of attention he needs.. every child has different attention needs.... my two year old was the same way.... at first... ..... just 15 minutes every 3 hrs of 300% qualitive time... eye contact, feedback, hugging and kissing.. physical feedback and playing...pure free play and goofiness... with laughing involved.... and learning something together... it worked for me anyway.. you will be amazed what 15 minutes does... they are new to this world and need all the security they can get... maybe you have already done this... so bare with me...otherwise he is only 19 months .. if he is acting this way at 4-7years old.. then be concerened...

Make sure his ears are clear of wax that can cause pain and pressure and muffled sounds. And also that he doesnt have an ear infection. And check for new teeth. All of those can cause screaming and behaviour like this.
Then if he is ok in those areas I suppose its a stage. They have so many of them, and most are not fun. I have a 21mo old who screams. I find that if I tend to his needs IMMEDIATELY it cuts down on some screaming. And also if I keep an extra super close eye on him playing w/ his sister that I can ward off the screaming caused by tormenting. But in general if he is pitching a fit over something and screaming we just started putting him in his bed for a "timeout". We tell him when you are done screaming you can come out. The second he quits we take him out. We hope this works for him soon as his screaming makes us crazy as well.
GL.

Been there! My son is 20 mos but started that around age 1 and it lasted several months. His ped said to just let him throw his fit and as long as he was on a soft surface and couldn't hurt himself then he was fine. If you react he will get something out of it. I would just walk away and do something else until he calmed down. Then I would talk to him and read a book or something calm.

The hitting and biting is where you have to be tough though. My son hit and bit me and kids at daycare...ugh. I had to tell him "no" very stern and would put him across the room and walk away and then tell him how it was not nice to bite and it hurts. Just be consistant and eventually it will sink in. My son knows now not to bite or hit and hasn't done it in months. The tantrums have subsided although every now and then he throws a fit. I think the terrible two's start earlier than two years old and this is all just part of it. They can't communicate and it is frustrating so they act out.

Also, I did realize that more snacks during the day helped sometimes he was just hungry. He also ended up having ear infections and once he got tubes the tantrums got a lot better.

Hang in there, this too shall pass!

try asking your pediatrician for ideas...this might help...also look for books about this...

Dr.Brazelton (touchpoints books) is a good book...and this Dr, is great!!

he knows his children!!

Good luck!!

ladyk

Hello,

I was wondering if you've talked to your pediatrician about this issue? How long ago did this start? Does if follow after certain things in your day, like after meals or naptime? I'm a licensed clinical social worker and just thought to suggest looking a little at the clinical/medical side of things, just to make sure you aren't missing a food or medicine allergy or something else. Does he respond at all to redirection? Keep track or a log of when he has tantrums and what's happending before/after. There may be a pattern or due to a reaction to something else.

Also, I'm curious about what line of business you do working from home? I am developing a project about employment decisions for mothers of young children (I have a 19 month old as well!) and wondered what kind of work you do at home...

I hope the questions/info helps to discover what might be bugging your little one.

D.

See if you can get an appt with an occupational therapist ( I used to think this was for working people, hahah) but they work on behavior issues. Your pediatrician should be able to recommend one.

( I am sure u are but) are you getting him out a lot- to exercise? run around with kids? run outside and play? sometimes it is a way for them to let off steam.

Hi J.,

I think you may want to check his sugar intake. You may want to try this at home first not out in public but when he starts the crying and screaming just ignore him. He will eventually come to you needing a hug and you have to then explain to him that he can not act that way. It sounds as though it is his way of gettin attention which is not good. I would not let him hit his head. He may really hurt himself. Before taking him for a ride in the car let him know that we are going for a ride and let him take one of his toys with him. Try making it an adventure. Hopefully my suggestions will work. Take care and God bless!!

Hi J.,

Have you tapped his legs with your hand or a ruler along with no no. I'm a Christian and believe that discipline starts now. Prov. 15:22 Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. If you don't now, it will be hard to discipline as he gets older. Not with hard force. Just a stun should wake him up and let him recognize that your the parent and he's the child. I have a 14 mos and she had started with fallen out around 10 mos. After a couple of taps with the ruler, when she attempts, I just mention the ruler and she stops. Praise the Lord for the word of truth.

B.

Hi J.,

Wow, you must be frustrated! Sometimes behavior like this is completely normal, and other times it is atypical. You should really discuss this with your pediatrician.

There are many causes of bad behavior. Is it possible that he is having some stomach pain, headaches, earaches?

There are also many psychological abnormalities that can be controlled very easily with behavior guides.

Another thought---YOU ARE A STAY AT HOME WORKING MOTHER? I am not sure how you or anyone really does that. I would have also, but not sure how you can work and parent at the same time. Is it only part time? How do you work when you are dealing with the behavior. Maybe he is confused about when you need to have work time and baby time, and can not differenciate between the two.

What about going to the office for just one or two days a week? Might be O.K. afterall. Would not make you a bad mother, just give you a teeny break to be able to reassess the behavior from a different point of view.

Hang in there though. He may just be doing the early 2 year old thing.

Hi J.:

My son did the same thing. I think he was frustrated because he couldn't communicate as well as would have liked. I tried to help by trying to figure out what he wanted. I'd as yes/no questions, like are you hungry or do you want [whatever, toy, juice, crackers]? He is almost 2 1/2 and he still occasionally bangs his head, but it was a daily occurrance for a while. The doc told me he wouldn't hit it hard enough to really hurt himself (i.e. do brain damage), so I stopped worrying about that. He has given himself bruises. We don't take him to the store if we can avoid it because he runs around and if you try to restrain him, oh the tantrum is awful. Every so often we try, to see if he will behave better. I figure, eventually, he will start to behave better or at least get old enough that I can teach him to behave better. 2 year olds simply do not have enough self control, so I am just waiting until he does.

Good luck,
B.

Hi J.,

The baby needs to be assessed to see if there are any delays.

www.infantva.org

Child and Family Services has parent education programs.

www.childandfamilyservices.org

There is a family resource center depending on what city you live in.

Chesapeake ###-###-####

There is Old Dominion University Child Study Center. www.dl.odu/101s
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Hope this helps. Good luck. D.