19 Month Old - Terrible Two's Already!

have you tried just ignoring it? we ust stuck a towel under my daughters chair but they even make drop clothes for under their chairs to aid in cleanup. Just stop getting after him except for when he is in danger, and then spend extra time playing with him when he is being good. He is probubly starting to understand that he can control the attention he gets and is just looking for more. Children want and need attention and they prefer negative to none. If you give them possitive reinforcement and play with them often, then ignore their obvious "naughty" behavior they will usually stop doing it as often. I also learned that putting my son in his room was very effective as well because he hated being alone and would straighten up really quick. Good Luck, Jen

The real true key is consistancy (sp) if you decide to take the plate away, don't give it back, if you use time outs be consistant, and no matter how hard it is DON'T give in they are little master manipulators and they can play us like puppet masters. And it is a phase, he is testing the boundries and waiting for your reactions, decide what the punishment is going to be and stick to that one punishment for that action, it usually doesn't take to long so long as you are consistant....Good luck.

Hello D.,
I know just where you are at. My son hit that stage when he was about 19 mo. He actually did the same exact thing to us, but I noticed that the more I made a fuss about it the more he did it. Instead of being upet I just tried showing him how fun eating can be and tried to make a fun game of how the food went into his mouth and not on the floor. It will pass though, don't be discouraged.
E.

Hi D.
First of all,deep breath!! Ok now let's see what we can come up with.....I myself am of the opinion that a child starts aging before birth. Meaning that the terrible two's start at or around the one year old mark.Your child is not slow or behind unless the doc says there is a real problem. Each child developes at a different rate in each area of developement. Don't go crazy yet, but don't pass things off as a phase too soon either. Most kids are looking for a reaction just like your son is. Even a small reaction Counts. Remember that if you are looking at him he is getting the attention or reaction he is checking for when he acts out. Sometimes the best way to stop a behavior is to Not notice it or react to it.No attention= no fun.This doesn't work for everything or every child but it's something worth trying.Just remember that you are good parents and keep in mind that the "testing phase" really isn't a "phase" it never ends but it does change in so many fun and wonderous ways.Just keep trying different things for each challenge he throws at you.So....what's for dinner? Good luck B.

Wait till he indicates he is hungry before you offer him a meal. Have him seated in his high chair or booster seat and offer him the food. If he is truly hungry he will want to eat. If he throws the food on the floor, simply state "we don't throw food on the floor". Remove him from the high chair. Wait a few minutes until he indicates he wants to eat. As you are placing him back in the highchair simply state " when we eat we keep our food on our plate/ tray." Offer him something he likes and wait, if he drops the food, just repeat the process until he understands he is not going to eat unless he cooperates. Hang in there!
Karen

D.,
I am going through the same thing with my 14 month old daughter. She ignores me when I tell her no. Most of the time it doesn't bother me so much, except when it is a dangerous situation. Like yesterday, she kept trying to turn on the shredder. I kept telling her no, and trying to intrest her in other toys, but nothing seemed to work. finally, I just took her into another room. I've tried fingernail pinching, slapping her hands, but she doesn't care. She is tougher than I am. I've found that the only thing that really works is to just remove her, or the situation. when she mis-behaves in the store, we leave. I hope I am doing this right, but she is so strong-willed. good luck, I hope you get some good advice, let me know what works, it may be worth a try for mine as well!

Why is it that when our little dears deliberately through food on the floor, it is like nails on a chalkboard!!??? My daughter did this (and still does occasionally). We never figured it out, we just kept telling her no and slapping her hand a bit. She still did it. It still drove us nuts. But eventually she did stop! That's not much help, except for the fact that I have been there and I know your pain! Also something we found was that our daughter did it more when she was not that hungry. We tried to stay away from snacks and even sippy cups of milk for a while before a meal. The hungrier she was, the less she played (or threw) her food.
My daughter (who is 18 months) has been testing us too. At first she didn't get the time outs or any other discipline, but we just kept doing it and kept being consistent. Eventually she did catch on. It is so hard to enforce something when it feels like a waste of time, but keep up with it, be consistent and he will come around! I think little ones start "practicing to be two" about this age! Good luck!

Dear D. W.

You are wise not to punish your son when you can see that he doesn't understand what he has done wrong.

If I were you, I would try to find out why he reacts as he does. There are some great helps out there that weren't available when I was raising my family.

My daughter has had a social worker coming into her home on a regular basis, to help with one of her twins. The twins were born two month premature.

I am amazed at all the things that my daughter has learned to help her little ones catch up to their age. Most of them are really quite simple ideas.

Good Luck,
B. Y.

just keep sticking to your guns I have a 10 year step son that was not give any limits and know he is even hard to discipline, the time out thing try in it for 1 min . Just keep trying because if you let him win hear it will only get harder. Gina

Hi D.. My son will be two next month, and he did the exact same thing! It will pass, I promise. Maybe try ignoring him when he throws his food, he might be looking for a reaction from you, or just take his food away until he's hungry again. My son would do it if he didn't like what was in front of him or if he was full. I hope this helps.

There isn't much but redirect you can do at his age. My DD#2 is 20mo and we're in the same boat. If you can believe everything you read (which I don't always LOL) Suppernanny says time outs are not effective until between 2-3yrs old.

In our house DD#1 (4yrs) gets time-outs as necessary, and at this point it seems very unfair that DD#2 doesn't, but DD#2 gets removed from the problem. (IE, if she throws food at the table we take her plate away with a very short explaination of why. If she hits her sister, she gets taken from the room, ect......)

GOOD LUCK (Wait until the terrible 3's -- LOL)

E.

I just went through that with my son. He did that initially when he didn't like the food or was done eating. I first asked him to give it to me instead of throwing it on the floor, and I always told him that if he drops his food, he's done eating. I think he began to associate that with a way to communicate wanting to get down from the high chair. So when he gave the food to me instead of dropping it, I said "thank you" and got him down. When he threw it on the floor, I made him sit in the high chair for awhile (without food) before getting him down.

If he's not actually done eating, perhaps you could get him down and wait 15 minutes or so before seeing if he wants to eat more. At least he'll always associate that behavior with a consequence.

Also, I have a nephew who was premature and developed more slowly in the first couple of years of life. It took him well over two years to learn to talk, and he got very frustrated with not being able to communicate. He began acting out and hitting and biting his younger brother. My sister was in child development in college at the time, and her professor suggested that she teach her son sign language. The professor actually demonstrated it with my nephew, and got him to use the sign for "please" in order to get a snack from a vending machine. ("Do you want a snack? Show me what you want. Okay, say 'Please'" and she showed him the sign. She did this twice and then he mimicked her movement) My nephew picked up on simple signs quickly and the behavior problems disappeared, plus it taught him to talk more quickly.

It's just a suggestion. Here's a link if you are interested: http://www.signwithme.com/002_browse_signs.asp