18 Yr Old Daughter and Relationship with Boyfriend of 3 Yrs.

S....I believe you gotta let her go. Even if this is the boyfriend for her, she is WAY too young to commit to one person right now. She needs to go out and experience life, good and bad relationships, before she will ever really know what she wants/needs out of a spouse. We all change SO MUCH between the ages of 18 and 25.

I married my high school sweetheard when I was 20...we were divorced a year and a half later.

Let her go and experience life.

L.

That is a hard one. I married my high school sweetheart at 19. We have been married for 13 years. It was a rough start in the early years of our marriage because we were so young, and he was my only serious boyfriend ever! I think the hardest things were seeing all of my friends out dating, having fun etc. and wondering what my life could of been like. Now, that I am older and wiser I realized how blessed I am and that God gave me the perfect husband.

The thing is you don't want her to have any regrets and look back and wish she had done things differently. I would just talk to her openly and share your life experiences with her as well as pray for God to guide her in the choices she will make. She is young, and has so many new things that are going to be a part of her life. She needs to be able to know that she has many years before she has to make this decision.

Just support HER decision and don't make it for her. Now is the time for her to figure out who she is and what she wants. She has had probably one boyfriend in her life, don't make her think he has to be the only thing she ever gets and then she ends up divorced because of normal curiousity. I got married at 27 and had everything out of my system before hand, my sister married at 18 and was divorced by 23 and did the wild thing for the next 20 years. Life seems a bit easier if you are young an crazy when you are young and crazy.

Adults kids are such a challenge. I know that you would like to help your daughter not make mistakes about where her life is headed. But really all you can do is give her your opinion on the subject and then trust her to make the right decision for herself. It might not be the decision you would make and it might be a mistake, but you need to trust that the woman you raised is strong enought to take what life gives her. The hardest thing about this age is sitting back and watching them. Trust me that when the time is right she will come back to you but for now maybe she needs to find her own way.
GOOD LUCK!

Really it is up to her if she wants to stay with him. Maybe there is something going on with them that she isnt telling you. She is the one that is going to be with him not you so she needs to make her choice. I have seen it so many times moms of adult children trying to have there input into whom there children should or shouldnt be with and it always ends up ugly with the child resenting there parent. My cousin whom I am very close with is engaged to a guy in the military her mom doesnt approve of him at all she said some mean things like he is going to get killed in Iraq and such now she hasnt talked with her mom in over a year and is not inviting her to her wedding. I know its hard not to want to parent adult children because you have been through more than they have but they need to make there own choices good or bad and you just be there for them to celebrate the good and comfort the bad. Good luck I hope things work out for the better.

I was in a similar relationship at that age, and got engaged shortly after H.S. My mom thought he was my perfect match, and was SO upset with me when I ended it.

Fastforward 7 years, I met the man of MY dreams. My mom now believes that the previous relationship was there to teach me something about myself and what I wanted from life and eventually marriage. She's seen my husband and I together and knows this is the one that was meant for me

She's 18, and it has to be her decision. No one knows her thoughts and feelings better than she does. You may think that God has put them together, and that may be true, but it may not be for the reasons that you think.

My mom has always said "Everything happens for a reason" and I believe that. No one matches and completes me like my husband does...as corny as that may sound.

I would say give her the freedom to have the space she needs. If you push the "he's the one" thing, she may rebel. If he really is the one God has for her, she'll realize that and it will become more solidified through their time apart. Trust God to lead her though to what He has in store for her, whether it be this guy, some other guy, or something else completely.

By the way, I married my highschool sweetheart (my first boyfriend) at age 20, and next month we will celebrate our 10th anniversary. We had a time of semi-separation for 7 months when we were 17 because his famiy moved to the other side of the country. We were still together (and I had monster phone bills to prove it), just not physically, but we had that time to think about what is important to us.

hello S.
I can honestly say that I was in your daughters spot when I was her age I am now 42. She is so young to say that one boy is the right one. She is very young and things will change for her. Her likes and dislikes will change in life also. No one has the awnsers but being her friend and letting her find her own awnsers will help her shape her own life. 18 is just so young to say this is it. A life time with the wrong man is very long. So much for a young woman to learn.
Just so you know I talk with my mom every day and we are best friends. She thought my mariage was bad when I was younger and told me to get an abortion. That was what she thought was best. I am pig headed and I didn't agree with her. I never did get preg. again. Today my son is 19 and I am so glad I have him. He is the best thing in my life. Moms are great to talk with every day. She tells me every day that I am her sunshine. So we are best of friends but we all have choices to make and if thier is any regret it should be are own. The great thing is I can tell my mom I love you and we can just agree to disagree.

As a Single mother of an 18 yr old boy, I totally understand. They are going through a lot of changes, it's a funny time for them. They are told they are adults (Voting & other things), but at the same time they really aren't ready. I go through this with my son all the time, I call my Mom and chated with her. She remined me that "God gave me this child, he is my gift from God." God never makes a mistake, your daughter was given to you because of you (your personality & gifts). That doesn't mean it's easy, or quick. I always remind my self that God didn't give up on me, he's not going to give up on any child of his.

I started dating my first serious boyfriend at 16 and stayed with him through high school, so I was in her shoes. We split up just after graduation and I dated around a little. I finally met my husband when I was 23. Before meeting him, I wondered if I hadn't made the wrong decision to leave my HS boyfriend. But looking back now, 9 years, I am SO grateful I did. At the age of 18, we need our relationships for different reasons than we do as mature adults. We don't know what our needs are going to be. She should get out there and experience life and find what she needs to become her own person. Maybe it will lead her back to her boyfriend, and maybe not. But she needs to know if it's meant to be. By staying with him, she will never know if she did the right thing. I think the answer is obvious...if she's questioning it, she needs to find the answers to those questions.
I wish her all the luck in the world and I hope her journey leads her to happiness and true love, be it with her current boyfriend or a new man.