18 Mth Old Screams When Put to Bed- Started After Being Sick/now Better

Updated on October 05, 2009
D.N. asks from Coram, NY
5 answers

I am at my wits end! My son used to go right in his crib,hang out and go to bed. Now, after he recovered from a headcold, he will not get back to his old routine. I will admit that while he was sick, he was held more and was up a few times at night sick and I would pick him up because he was sick and couldn't breathe. How do I get him back on track? I have gone back to the routine, but he screams when I put him in. I have let him cry for 10min gone in and sat in the chair and sang a song and he will lie down, but once I leave--it starts all over. I just want my old son back. Is this normal for kids?? Any advice please!

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

IN his book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", Mark Weissbluth, M.D. discusses this exact situation and says it is not uncommon. His recommendation is basically to let him cry and re-learn how to go to sleep on his own. I know it is SO frustrating- good luck!

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D.P.

answers from New York on

Hi, I had the same issue with my daughter after she was frightened by an inconsiderate neighbor lit off fireworks right in front of our house and her room (they live DOWN the street)....after two weeks of sleepless nights, I discovered what I believe is the Dr Sears method-what I did (starting at nap time) is lay her down after following the usual routines, then gently but firmly put my hand on her belly and kept it there until she fell asleep. It's time consuming and not so comfortable for you, but believe me it was worth it. The first nap took 25 minutes of standing there, the second 10. Then bedtime was about 20 minutes. She learned to go back to sleep on her own, while having that security that she needed. It may take a few days and if he wakes up when you try to leave, start over again. It was better for me than crying it out because my daughter was frightened. Now, after our usual nighttime routine, I give her a kiss and put her in her crib, some nights she'll go right to sleep, others she may lay there for a little while and talk herself to sleep, but she doesn't need me to help her. Like I said, this worked for me, each child is different, but it may be worth a try.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

We went through this last winter following a bout with the flu. I slept in the guest room with my son for almost a week and the next two weeks were a nightmare! We literally had to start over with our bedtime routine.

The only thing that worked for us was to stick with the routine and let him cry for a few nights. Not fun, but effective.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hi D.,

It's very common for this to happen when children recover from sickness. I would suggest you stay firm and just stick with your routine. If he cries just tell him it is bedtime and walk away. It may take a few nights but he will retrain himself to go to sleep. He has learned that when he cries you will come and rightfully so he was sick. So now he has to learn that crying isn't going to get him out of going to bed. It is hard to listen to, but if you don't you will only start bad habits that you may not be able to break so easily. Good luck!!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi D.,
I'd change the routine if possible - do you have a husband or partner? Your post suggests that it's YOU who has been doing all the bedtime and you who went to him whenever he was sick. If it was me, I'd try being out of the house at bedtime and having dad do the bedtime routine. If he sees you leave, he knows not to expect you. Right now, he expects that if he cries, you'll come. If he learns that you won't come, that the other person won't come in, or that the other person will just stand at the door and tell him "It's time to go to sleep now," you are teaching him a new routine/habit. He has no way of knowing that the new way things have become was not meant to be permanent and he may not even remember that things were different a few weeks ago.
Good luck

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