18 Months and No Words

I didn't speak till I was 3...and I am definitely not autistic! I just had no reason to really say anything because I could convey things without words...and when i did start speaking I was 3 with a very thick accent, because I heard things they way people said them and tried to duplicate it (I was in the South). I went to speech class in kindergarten, so I corrected a few issues and after that I have not stopped talking since! I moved around so much growing up that I have no accent any more - I talk like a newscaster haha. I would not worry about it - he is young! :)

There is probably nothing to worry about, but I am a strong proponent of early intervention. My daughter was about the same at 18 months and we began working with Arlington County's early intervention program (PIE). She has made remarkable progress. Talks up a storm. My philosophy is that the earlier they have support and help, the more benefit they have later down the road. And even if he does need assistance, there is nothing wrong with him. He may just need a different form of teaching or support.

My son had very few words at that age too. There were words that would seem to pop out from time to time, but very little consistency. I called Infants and Toddlers (thru the educational system) when he was 20 months. They came to evaluate him and he has been receiving speech therapy since. He has come a long way, and his language is now caught up to his peers. His articulation is still not great, but that comes with time. My best advice is to seek an evaluation so that you can get whatever services are out there. Good Luck!

My sister is currently having the same trouble. As a general rule of thumb most children say something consistently by this age. Either Mama or Dada or NO no no or something. My nephew only says the word Dada. Just think of it like this buy 2yrs old 95% of kids can talk very well by 2yrs old so that would mean in 8mo he would learn a whole set of words which is unlikely. As you say though it could be he's just slow BUT it could also be because there is something wrong. It shouldn't EVER be over looked as just being slow or delayed because what if it's not you want to make sure you looked into it as soon as possible. If it is just his ears not hearing well or at all you want to make sure you have tried to fix it so he's not tooooo behind. My daughter has a friend in her kindergarten class that had that trouble now she has a hearing aid and can hear just fine with it BUT if they hadn't addressed it earlier on she prob. wouldn't be in kindergarten right now she would be at home catching up on talking still. She wasn't totally deaf but she couldn't hear very well and it made it really hard to learn to talk. So in my opinion you would want to check out as much as you can as early as you can just so you can address them as early on. If it ends up being he's just slow that's fine but you at least know there isn't anything else going on. good luck

We just went through this same thing ourselves. We decided that we didnt think anything was wrong with our dd, and we chose not to continue the screening.
dd is almost 26 months, and has just started speaking in the last 3 months. I don't think anyone else understands what she says, but I do, and she now frequently talks in 2 and 3 word sentances.
I see no problem with holding off on the screening if you aren't worried, and if he starts to show improvement, then there's no need to stress over it.
My dd showed me what she wanted, or just climbed on my lap when she needed me. I think she was too busy absorbing words to bother to try to say them.

Hi L., I would not worry too much - thought having it checked out is a good idea. My kids were bothearly talkers, but both my newphews - from two differents sisters, talked late. One of them did not say anything until he was two, and not much until he was almost three - he is now 8 and fluent in several languages, and a great reader. Kids are all different, and boys are often less vocal than girls at this early age, in the long run it makes no difference.

L.,
Look at all the wonderful support and advice you have found here! YEA! I was overwhelmed and didn't get through 1/2 of it!
If you are in Fairfax County call Child Find for a screening. They ROCK! My now 6 year old was in the same boat, turns out she had terrible impacted ear wax and wasn't hearing. They got her talking and WOW! Of course now there are days we are searching for silence!

Best of luck!

JJ

My son, now 30 and working for the navy, was the same way. He was so easy going that the attempt to get him to talk by withholding what he wanted was met with him just walking away to do something else. He was even more concerning because the words he did say he pronounced backwards--pit for sheep-- so I was worried about dyslexia. He went through speech therapy (also through the military). He added a few words, but was still behind his age. No sentence structure at 3. Then we moved to Europe where he had children all around him to play with (not on base, but on the ecomomy with the English). Suddenly he started talking full sentences like he'd been doing it all along. And he developed an English accent!!!

I would still recommend the testing. It could be he is just lazy, processing things on the inside, but just refusing to show off. It is better to prepare for the worst and get better, than not be prepared at all. Autism can be treated, however, but not with conventional medicine. It is through homeopathics. I have a protocol from a homeopathic doctor in Belgium that helps the brain develop. Since your son is so young, he would only need the first stage. If you get the diagnosis, please check with me through my web site, www.sevenpillarstotalhealth.com.

L.,

It's ok that your son is not talking yet. Many children don't start talking until age 2. I'd hold off on the testing for a little while. If you do decide to get the testing done through the military system, stay on them as much as possible. Ask for what day you can find out things and hound them. My daughter is a slow speaker, although she ended up with autism I still had to hound the military every chance I got. If I didn't the Early Intervention program she was in wouldn't be possible. If you do go through the Early Intervention program, you will need to go through the military to do it because the military has to give you paperwork to have certain things done. Many times I had to walk the paperwork through the system because faxing was unreliable. This way I also had a copy of everything that was going on and I personally saw where the paperwork was going and what was done with it.
All that aside, Kindermusik is a wonderful idea (thank you Pam for suggesting it). Playgroups are an awesome way to get children to do things you want them to do. Let them learn it from other children. Another thing you can do is let him watch movies that have a lot of educational talking in them like Little Einsteins (Not Baby Einsteins because that doesn't have talking in it as much and doesn't encourage it as much). My daughter learned to talk by watching Blues Clues, Little Einsteins, and other shows that used visual aids so that she could see what she was supposed to say. Another thing you can do is teach sign language. Sometimes the visual language is all a child needs to help them see what the word looks like to say it. Use simple things like eat, more, drink. Then move on to two word sentences when he consistently uses those. When you sign however, make sure you are saying the word at the same time. If you need help with signing, there are several websites and books available to teach you and your child simple signs. Hope this helps, God Bless.

when my daughter went from having a few words to being incomprehensible we went through an early intervention program. they sent us to an audiologist and it turned out she didn't hear well because of fluid in her ear. after a set of tubes she was doing great. btw, her insurance was military tricare but we could still use the regular early intervention services that all the civilians did and it was free.

Dear L.,
I have four children. My last one was my (only) son who did not talk until he was 2 1/2 years old. (With three older sisters, he probably felt he didn't need to do so). From then on, however, speech was never a problem for him. Interestingly, he also was about to be recommended for speech therapy, but, lo and behold, he didn't end up needing it! :)
As for the possibility of autism, I have a question to ask you. Do you know about the link between immunizations and autism? Though there are definitely two diametrically opposed thoughts about them, I am convinced there is a very strong link. I have studied this subject for a long time and have found four really good recommendations: (1) If you immunize your child, wait until age 2 years before giving the first one; (2) Always ask for and demand preservative-free immunizations. Why? The most intense trigger for an autism-like response is in the preservatives used! (3) Never allow your child to have more than one immunization at a time. In other words,don't allow your child to have a bundled-immnization like MMR. Most cases of autism arise soon after being given the MMR; (4) Never allow your child to have more two immunizations closer than six months apart from each other.
Also, you might want to know that boys, more tahn girls, are subject to autism. The rate of autism in our children is now 1 out of 150, but in boys, 1 out of 100!
Why so many cases of autism? There are about 30-some immunizations given now whereas 25 years ago there were only about ten! Given the toxic overload from immunizations along with a diet devoid of enough wholesome foods (especially fruits and veggies), our kids bodies don't stand a chance!
One more thing about immunizations: as I mentioned, they put a lot of toxins into the body. The number one toxin-overcomer is fruits and veggies, so load up on them. If you want an easy, more affordable way to get your child to eat more fruits and veggies, ask me!
Want an autism-overcoming success story? Google actress Jenny McCarthy's story regarding her son.
Blessings!
J. F.

While it wouldn't hurt to get your child screened if possible, I really wouldn't worry too much. He may not say much, but do you feel he understands what you're saying to him? Does he respond actively when you talk to him? My now 3 year old said almost nothing until she turned 2. Then she had an absolute language explosion! Interestingly, she has perfect pronunciation and never really spoke in "baby talk" like her twin sister did. I've also noticed that my later talking twin is more deliberate in all activities, meaning she observes and studies before jumping in. She may have actually benefitted from all that time she spent listening before attempting to talk! In any case, she is now an extremely talkative 3 year old with an amazing vocabulary. Kids do develop at their own rate and though it's a pediatrician's job to look for red flags he shouldn't be trying to scare you.
Another thing you can try is to teach him some signs and see if he catches on. Signs for some favorite toys like "ball" or mealtime signs like "more", "drink," and "all done" are simple signs to learn, and it may help you see if he is able to use language even if he doesn't have the verbal skills yet.
Sorry for the long post- best of luck!

Hi L.,

My husband and I have two sons. The younger (almost 9)has hearing loss and developmental delays. If your insurance will pay for the testing, go for it! If there's nothing wrong with his hearing and you rule out autism then you can try something different. If there are problems with his hearing and cognition you can start to get some help through your local Infants and Toddler's (also known as Child Find) program. Early intervention is key. I am trained as a mentor for parent's of children with hearing loss. If there is some hearing loss and you need to talk to someone who's been there you know where to find me!

Janet D.

My son was the same way. He was about 3 before I could really understand anything he said. He would point and when i couldn't understand him his sister, which was his translator would tell me what he wanted. She would be right. If he is saying some words he should be ok. Just try to encourage him to speak more. Even though he points to what he wants try to get him to say what it is. If he doesn't then tell him what it is a couple of times and see if he will say something even if it's not a complete word but him trying to sound it out that's a good start. I think he will be fine.

Hi L.. My son is 19 months and is going through the same late speech thing. Our pediatrician recommended that we have him checked by a speech therapist and his hearing by an audiologist. I would suggest you do this, because if there is a problem, early intervention is key to getting him help so he can catch up. Or they may find that your son doesn't need therapy if he's saying a few words and making progress on his own, as was our case. They will give you lots of information on ways you can work with your son at home. Some of the best ways to encourage him to speak (that I didn't know before) include labeling and describing everything he sees and does (use lots of adjectives), ask him questions and wait for a response (don't meet all his needs before he vocalizes his wishes), and offer him choices (would you like to wear the blue or yellow shirt?). You may already know these other tips, like reading to him daily, singing, reciting poetry and rhymes, etc. When you read, rather than following the story word for word, describe each pictures, point to animals and make their sounds, ask him what things are and encourage him to say the word or at least point to what you're describing. Hope this all helps, but the best thing you can do it get the evaluation soon (many are covered by insurance, some are free), get early help. You'll feel better knowing how to help your son thrive.

L.
Certainly there is a lot of controversy about what to do, should you do it, etc. BUT, the experts agree on one thing for sure....EARLY intervention is key. SO, if there is a problem, you want to know as early as possible. So do the testing. I have been through it and it is totally worth it.

Take a big breath...I understand I went throught something similar with my son. He is fine. You can get him screeened through tricare, but also get him screened through Early Intervention (a state based but federally funded program to get infants and children screeened for any type of delays). My son had a speech delay. He would say a word and never say it again, etc. The screeening through the state system is awesome, reassuring and fun for your child and you. A occupational therapist, a child development expert, a speech therapist, and maybe more will sit on the floor with your child and play with him. If they think there is any further concerns regarding autism they will have him seen by a psychologist or psychiatrist for further 'play' testing. Get his hearing tested that is really important as well, he could have problems with just one ear but it could be enough to make it very difficult to learn words. Also depending on his temperment he may just find it easier to communicate in his own way vs. putting in all the effort required to speak.

I don't know what the D.C. early start program is called.

I believe this is the right link: http://www.brightfutures.org/

Call them. These services are free. My son needed speech 2x a week for months and is still receiving speech 2 1/2 years later 1 x aweek. Call them they will work with Tricare to get his hearing test done etc. Tricare only provides 30 or less speech sessions a year, NOT nearly enough in many cases and it is soooooo hard to get into a speech therapist taking Tricare insurance (at least it was in Los Angeles--they wanted me to drive 45 min each direction for speech--tricare did). The state of Calif got Paul into a program near our home and tricare helped to pay for it I believe. But even people without any insurance qualify and do not pay anything.

Hang in there is really young! For some reason I thought you were in DC try googling "Early intervention colorado". If you cannot find the info call your local school district and ask to speak to the school counselor, that person should know the name of the program in Colorado and who to call.

R.

Don't worry too much. As long as there is communication between the two of you and he seems to interact and does other things just fine, don't panic. I am the mother of one autistic boy,and a non-autistic boy and girl. If you are worried, try sign language. Babies can pick up simple signs easily, you're the one that may have a problem with the sign language. You could aslo use pictures and read books. It may be jsut that he doesn't have much to say because you do everything and anticipate things. Try not doing something, or forget something that you ususally do, you may have to do this a few times before he says something. While I do agree that early intervention is a key to helping autistics, just because he is not talking now does NOT mean that he is autistic. If you are worried about the vaccinations, you can do what I did with the second and third children. Instead of getting 2 or 3 shots of 2 or 3 immunizations at once, spread them out over a few months. You have the right to choose what vaccines your children receive and when they get them, but do not skip the vaccines altogether, that can be more dangerous to everyone, including you.

My nephew had the same issues when he was that age. They were very worried and had him assessed by a speech therapist and it turned out that he had apraxic speech. He received speech therapy and now (at age 3) he is speaking at an age appropriate level. They also took him a chiropractor at the same time he was doing speech because they thought that having adjustments would also help him. He no longer receives speech therapy or goes to the chiropractor. :-)

Besides going thru the military system, utilize the MD education system. They provide free screen and intervention.
Maryland Residents Only 800-535-0182

Every state has the infant and toddler program, so if you are in another state just google it.

Good Luck

My daughter did not talk until she was 2 years old. However she was precocious in her motor skills. There was nothing wrong with her hearing or intelligence. She just didn't see the need to talk. Babies develop in their own time. Do testing if you wish but your son is probably just fine. AF

Hello,

My grandson is 15 months and he wasn't talking either, i asked the doctor and was told that it will come, I let him watch the channel with naggon channel(not sure of the spelling) that is the channel for kids. I also have video tapes that sing the ABC's songs and different things like that and I also have books and toys that talk, he is beginning to say small words like : hi, eye, so wait a little while he will talk and than you will say., "man oh man" Good Luck

My son was "speech delayed" and now you can't get him to shut up. As a first time mom I wasn't sure how to introduce words to him. So I got help. I called ARC in Prince George's County. The counselor worked with him by basically playing with him and getting him to use words. memory games, blowing bubbles and small farm animals. Don't worry Maya Angelou didn't talk until she was like 5.

I hate that your doctor said the word Autism. That was really uncalled for. What's more important is what is your gut telling you?

As lots of other people have already said, it's worth having it checked out. Especially if it's hearing related, it's relatively easy to fix and will have long-term benefits. But some kids are just late talkers -- my older son was, and he's perfectly verbal now (age 8). He did qualify for some speech services through the Child Find program, and enjoyed playing with the therapist.

If you're worried about autism, this is a great reference page:
http://www.autismspeaks.org/whatisit/learnsigns.php

But in general, late speech is much less of a worry than a kid who starts to talk and then regresses.

I had a similar situation with my daughter. She had a number of problems in her first months -- gastric reflux that led to some developmental delays, plus a brain scan that showed a "dead" area -- so we were waiting with baited breath for her to talk. She had started talking, but then just stopped. We had her hearing tested (normal), and continued to work with an occupational therapist, but she really didn't start talking until well after 2. Looking back, I think what happened was that my husband lost his job and we pulled her out of daycare, so she wasn't around other children. Being our only child, she had no siblings to imitate, plus she had a doting mom & dad who did everything she needed -- so she had no need to talk! She is now 9 years old, and I have never known a child who can talk as nonstop as this one.

My advice is to follow up on the screening, as it's better to be safe than sorry. You might also want to try teaching him some simple sign language, as sometimes they will take to that before actual speech. That can help determine that he is making connections between words and items. Watch to see if he comprehends what you say to him, like simple directives like "go get the ball." Again, that will help you see that he is making language connections.

Above all, try to not worry, and try to not look up too much information on the Internet! (My husband had to cut me off at one point because I was diagnosing my daughter with every maladay known to the medical world.) Provided that nothing comes up with the screening, late talkers can catch up very quickly and make you sometimes wish you could have just five minutes of silence!

Good luck, and I'll say a prayer for you that all turns out well!

My daughter was totally behind the curve on this - she's two now and only has a few words consistently but she understand EVERYTHING we say and acts accordingly so our doctor said not to worry. They really do develop within a range. That being said, why not do the testing - it isn't going to hurt and if there is something, then it can be dealt with sooner rather than later. Good luck!

Being an ace catastrophizer myself, I understand why your mind goes to "autism" with this--my kid gets a nosebleed and I think "leukemia"--but before you get too frantic: my second daughter barely uttered a syllable until quite late (I was pretty busy keeping up with her four-year-old sister at the time, so I was distracted). Eventually, well into her second year, she did start to talk. Now she's 8 and we can't get a word in edgewise. By all means, get his hearing tested. But don't lay awake at night worrying about the really bad stuff. A child who takes you by the hand and leads you to what he wants...that doesn't sound like autism. Doctors these days practice CYA medicine (as in "cover your...")--they go through all the textbook possibilities, no matter how unlikely, so that later on nobody can come back and say, "My kid was autistic and the doctor missed the diagnosis!" There are all kinds of things that are not outside the farther reaches of possibility that are in reality very, very unlikely....BTW, if he uses a pacifier, you might try taking that away. My youngest was quite attached to hers and I think that delayed her speech a little bit. Not that we've noticed lately.

Hi! I was exactly where you were not too long ago. At my 18 month old boy's check-up the nurse asked if he had any words and i had to say no. He had said a few things that could be called words, but then after a while those "words" went away. I wasn't too worried, but knew he should have a few definite words by that point. Our pediatrician told me that if he did not have any words at 20 months to have him evaluated. At 20 months I began the process of having him evaluated. It took a couple of months to get the evaluation. The evaluation was painless and did not take very long. They evaluated speech, fine and gross motor skills and cognitive abilities. They did find that he needed speech therapy. It took about 2 more months to get started with the speech therapist. I am so thankful that we did not wait any longer to get him evaluated. With therapy, the earlier the better. All of this is to say, even if it turns out that your child does not have any speech issues it is worth it to get him evaluated. I went through Early Intervention. I believe the evaluation was free and therapy cost is based on your income, so we are only paying $15 a month for 2 1 hour sessions per week! I hope everything works out well!

Blessings!

If this were my child, I would go outside military resources immediately. The sooner whatever the issues found are addressed, the more likely a better and easier outcome for your family. If autism is suspected, it is never too early address it. Please remember that NO ONE cares as much about your child as you do and you have the awesome responsibility to be proactive in his development. There will be many people who will assist you along the way, but in the end YOU are the one who will lead the way. Best of luck.

Hi L. Please don't panic yet. I know its hard. I have a 16 month old. We have been really working with him on words. We have big picture books with lots of words. The thing that has really helped him is a free website called starfall www.starfall.com. Click on the abc's program. The doctor wanted us at 12 months to get tested but I wanted to wait. My son wasn't even babbling. Now he says a few words and babbles all the time. Also check out baby babble on the web. I got a dvd called baby babble vol 2. This website has a lot of great info and teachings to help parents. I hope this helps. Remember every child is different.

I think milestones are too easily used to scare parents. My kids talked early but walked late; two of the three didn't start walking until 19 months. I refused to panic, and now they walk just fine. I really think kids develop different skills at different rates, and all seem to catch up with each other by about 3 years old. If at that point he is still behind on talking, then maybe you want to screen him. He is currently getting his point across his way. They say Einstein didn't walk or talk until he was past two (I don't know if that is a myth, but I also think it sounds quite possible). I would spend a lot of time talking to him. If he takes you to what he wants, vocalize it: "Oh, you want your firetruck. It's red and has wheels." I would just enjoy him and not worry at all for now.

Hi L.,
I went through the same thing with my son. He would point to what he wanted and said very little. I had his hearing tested which turned out to be fine. The problem was he had speech and language delay. He went through some programs at the Kennedy Kreiger center. When he was old enough for pre-school he was put in a program called Child Find and was in a Special Ed pre-K class. He did this for one year. He is now 15 yrs. old and doing well. Periodically, he'll have some problems with
comprehension but overall he's doing well.
Have the testing done and see what they find.
Good Luck,
A.

L.,
First, be glad that you have a pediatrician that is on the ball. Our pediatrician blew off our concerns for a year and a half. Having said that, there are a lot of other reasons that kids don't speak much by a certain time,and they don't necessarily include an autism diagnosis. Does he point with his finger to what he wants? Does he bring you toys to play with? Does he play with toys appropriately (i.e., making a truck "go", vs. just repetetively opening doors or spinning wheels?) Does he smile and laugh appropriately with you? Is he easy to enagage in age appropriate games?
He may just have a speech delay, and at his age, with the right therapy, it could disappear before you know it. My son was diagnosed on the autism spectrum 1-1/2 years ago, at 3 y/o, and he is doing fabulously. Most people wouldn't even know it. So, if you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me ____@____.com, and I can maybe give you some more info, if you want.
J.

BY THE WAY, DO NOT DELAY TESTING - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BY GETTING HIM CHECKED, AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN AT THIS AGE WITH EARLY INTERVENTIONS!!!!!!

It is always worth having him evaulated by Early Intervention. It is a program through social Services. They will come to you, in most places, to do the evaluation and any services you need for your child. They will let you kow wher ethey think you child is developmentally and come up with a course of actin to help your little person.

My son, now 25 months, was a preemie and he was evaluated early as a result of his prematurity. He had some delays and they have worked with him once a week for about 1 1/2 years. He was a late talker but now says over 200 words, maybe more. I am glad that I had him evaluated! It was the best thing I could have done for him!
Good luck,
G.

Is he exhibiting any other developmental delays?
Does he respond to your smiles and facial expressions appropriately?
Does he look toward sources of noise?
Has the doctor provided you with any suggestions for how to help your son along or how to determine if he has any hearing issues?
If it's simply a lack of recognizable words, then you can focus on one word that you want him to say and teach it to him repeatedly and see how he does. Mama is a good one. Also try teaching him baby sign-language. If you teach the sign while vocalizing the word, he can either say the word, sign or do both, whatever he is ready for. If he is communicating in his own way with whatever method he is comfortable with, then I would not worry at this age. Of course, I'm not a physician or doctor, I just know kids are all different and develop at different paces. Like my 19 month old only has 7 teeth but was walking by 11 months, while her friend who is only 10 days younger has a full set of teeth but only started walking at around 14 months. Don't fret over what the so-called experts say they should be doing when and let the kid develop at his on pace.

Please get you little guy tested! It may only be a delayed speech. Alot of kids are labeled late talker but are really delayed speech. I have dealt with with my son and daughter and then with my grandson and granddaughter. The faster you get your son tested the faster you can get help for him IF he needs it. The earlier the better and the EASIER for your son. My granddaughter started therapy as the age of 16 months and was out of therapy at 23 1/2 months and can not shut her up now. My grandson started therapy at 18 months and was out by the age of 8. My grandkids are not autism but had a problem with tongue and muscle placement in forming sounds. Plus in testing the doctors caught another problem. What is called tipy-toes on my granddaughter(She walked on her toes not on her whole foot) and that was also a dressed in therapy too.
Also look into the Easter Seals program. I know they helped us while my hushand was in the Navy with my son. Not only did they give speech therapy to my son but also help me to understand what I had to do to help my son at home. Please Please get your son screened!!

Hi L.,
I was concerned my child may have been autistic and asked his military ped. for a referral off base to have him evaluated. The evaluation was two-part: a home visit then an office visit. The evaluator was certain my son wasn't autistic from the moment she met him but held off saying so until after his office eval.

That said, she told me I was most likely the reason he wasn't speaking much and she was right. (She was quite gentle about this, not accusatory at all. She could clearly see from her two evals that I loved my son deeply and we had a close bond.) She said that since I knew my son so well, he didn't really need words to express himself--I just got what he needed! He'd point, I'd get. : )

She suggested that I give him opportunities to vocally express himself . . . if he wanted something, I should encourage him to verbalize his request. Of course, it was usually a sound that wasn't quite a word but he got the idea that he should use his voice to communicate.

Perhaps you, too, know your son so well that he hasn't found it necessary to verbalize either. I hope that is the case for you. I know this is a scary time. I wish you all the best. Please give us an update!

D.

L.- That's hard to hear. If you would like to get more information quicker than through the military system, you should call your local Infant and Toddler program. They will come out to your house to meet with you about your concerns and meet your son. They will help you. Your son is at an age that it is a valid concern that he is not yet talking. GO ahead and use the Infant/Toddler program.

When your child is not meeting developmental milestones on target, it is always cause for concern...but not despair. My son began screening for a speech delay at 18 months, and it WAS discovered that he had a hearing impairment of which we had no indication. He had never had an ear infection, and he always responded to my husband and me when we would call him (we are both very loud people and live in a pretty loud household). He was admitted to the local early intervention program at our public school, had tubes put in his ears, and received speech services for three years. Last winter, he was re-evaluated and dismissed from Special Ed just in time to start kindergarten. Now we can't get him to shut up!
The important thing is to find out what he needs, take advantage of any and all resources available to you, and don't allow yourself to be mortified by "labels." Do for your child what he will need to grow, thrive, and be successful! Good luck to you, and stay strong...

You just have to keep things in perpective with other signs of autism. If he makes good eye contact and communicates with you in ways other than speech, then I wouldn't loose a bit of sleep. My first son, now 3.5 didn't speak until he was beyond 2 years old. My second son, who is 18 months, too, just says dad, daddy, and has said a few times mama and nana (which I think is for banana, his fav food, but who knows :o) I believe he'll following the steps of big brother and be on the late side of talking. My Pediatrician told me that when 1st children don't speak "early" or "on time"- whenever that is, it can be a sign of perfectionism. They don't want to get it worng. I can so see that with son #1 as he has perfectionistic tendencies. Now my Ped says son #2 will be a late talker becasue #1 is always doing the talking for him. I hope this helps releive some of the anxiety you may be feeling.

Hi L.~

First of all, it's not too early to start testing and considering options. Autism is usually detected between 18 months and 3 years.

HOWEVER, if your son is comunicating with you in other ways and likes hugs and tickles, makes eye contact, shares experiences with you (even if he doesn't say it, "look Mommy, an airplane" kind of thing) by pointing at something and looking at you, you probably don't have anything to worry about.

I am step-mother to a low-functioning 20 year old autistic girl. My husband has shared a great deal of the experience of diagnosis with me as well as video clips of her as a small child. She showed many signs of autism at a very early age. She didn't talk (still doesn't talk much) she didn't play like other kids her age, she didn't share experiences, didn't respond to family's voices... that sort of thing. I've known her for about 12 years and have seen some progress and some digressions, but most importantly, I've come to understand a little better what to expect from my own children.

Because we don't know where children get this, my husband and I were vigilant when we had our own children. Our now 4 1/2 year old was verbally naming colors at 18 months old. He was shy around strangers, but around us, a vibrant talkative joyful boy. Our second son, now 2 years old, has just in the last month or so begun his "language explosion." We had been somewhat concerned, and at his 2 year check (two weeks ago) the pediatrician recommended audiology screening and said we should have him evaluated through the county. I was unable to give a good word count, but I said he probably said 20 words or so. We are also Navy and go to Bethesda for treatment. I have been seeing this Dr. for a while now and am very comfortable with her diagnosis and treatment and her manner is great. We discussed the autism idea and she said this boy is clearly not autistic, but may have some language delays.

Since then, our son has continued his "language explosion" and I was way off on the word count. I came home and made a list of the words he was saying. I quizzed him until he actually said NO (a new word for him!) and I also - just last night - heard him use three words together for the first time.

Bottom line is, I have not ruled out having him tested, but I no longer have the initial concerns that crowded my mind when she suggested having him tested.

I guess I don't have any specific advice for you, but I certainly hope by sharing my experience with you, I have eased some fears.

Every child develops at their own pace, and we can't forget that. Testing certainly won't hurt, and it might go a long way to ease your mind as well. If there are language delays, you can get started on helping your son. There is a great deal of information and help out there.

Please contact me if you want to talk some more.
~J.

My 22 month old son still only says Mama, car and hot. He has his own little words for other things that he cannot pronounce. For a while I was worried, too, but now I have the attitude that every child is learning at its own pace.
As long as the kid doesn't express other signs of autism he is just taking his sweet old time with learning.
According to my mother I learned how to speak very late, too (but I made up for it afterwards :-) ).
We shouldn't put ourselves and our kids under some kind of time schedule as to what they should be able to do at a certain age - that just produces stress and anxiety.
Get your child tested if it makes you feel better but don't worry too much! Most likely everything is OK.

Your son is communicating with you which is a really good sign. Two of my three sons had no consistent words until after two and really didn't speak until closer to three. I didn't panic but that's because my brothers and I didn't speak clearly until 4 and 5 years old. We have a processing problem that was passed down to my sons. I can remember not being able to communicate with the preschool teachers and other kids. I remember being shy but honestly I was still a happy kid as were my brothers. The incidents I remember that were frustrating had to do with people guessing what I was saying or wanted and getting it wrong. Language makes life a lot easier.

My youngest went for testing, failed every test, and was still given no services because he could understand everything and had an excellent vocabulary when we ran the tests backwards, unofficially. For example, the examiner (a nice, cheery lady) help up flashcards and said, "what is this?" and because he had no words, he didn't answer. But when we laid out a few cards and said point to the Dad (a fairly sexist picture of a guy with a briefcase), my son could point to it. You can build his vocabulary by speaking to him and asking him to do things. If he can (and of course, he has to feel like it, so make it fun), then you will know that his comprehension is fine.

I'm no expert in autism, although we have cousins with it on both sides of the family. My kids miss social cues so they need explicit instruction to know what behavior is expected. They needed to be taught about the importance of setting because they would act the same way outdoors and indoors or with peers and teachers. Most kids pick these kinds of things up but mine just never seemed to notice although once told, they would try to notice the setting and alter their behavior.

The difference with their autistic cousins is that my kids had eye contact and expectations and jokes with all kinds of people. They turned to people to meet their needs even though they could not verbalize them and when older, may not have asked appropriately. We didn't get a hug or a hello or good bye from the cousins till they were closer to five and had been through years of therapy. As a first time mom, it's hard to have perspective but if your child responds to other people, hopefully everything will be fine in time.

I was nervous about the testing but in the end, it was fun. And now my boys have made up for their intial lack of speech. They've even ended up as actors. So hang in there and enjoy your little guy. Some moms find sign language to be a huge help. I would have taught signs if I'd known about that option.

Good luck.

Hi!

A little over a year ago I was exactly where you are now. At my son's 12 mo. well baby the Dr. at Bolling (we are Army) said she had a few concerns with things he wasn't doing. She chalked alot of it up to him being the 5th child and everyone does everything for him.

My then 8 year old started asking me why he didn't turn around when we called his name. I really started to pay attention at that point. He didn't always respond. We went a few more months observing him. My husband had just returned from Afghanistan, we moved from Bolling to Arlington, etc.

I then made an appt with a Developmental Pediatrician at Bethesda. She was actually annoyed that the Dr. didn't make a bigger deal at the 12 month appt and said Sawyer should've already been screened by the county.

I called the neighborhood school in Arlington and got the number to PIE (Parent Infant Education Program). They came and evaluated my son and agreed that he was not doing everything that he should at this point.

He did start walking at 18 months, but all my kids were late walkers and a couple were late talkers, but Sawyer was definately different in not engaging and not seeming happy, etc. He had several ear infections and there were times I know he did not hear us. But when we went to Walter Reed for the hearing test, he passed with flying colors. (They were great by the way.) He ended up getting tubes around 18 months which helped quite a bit, but the PIE people thought he should be catching up more quickly than he was.

We also had him screened for seizures at Walter Reed (the nurology dept is wonderful too), but luckily that wasn't an issue.

PIE set up three therapies for him. Occupational Therapy, Speech, and Infant Education Therapy. He had one appt one week and two appts the alternating weeks. They come to your house for this which was a huge bonus for me with all the other ones in the house. I think Tricare paid for everything except the Speech and what we ended up paying was not that much. The therapists were fabulous and took such an interest in me and Sawyer and the whole family. Their support was amazing. He was recommended to go to a Special Education program within the public school system and he now attends Special Ed Preschool at Ashlawn Elementary.

As wonderful as everyone has been along the way, the school seems to have made the most impact. Of course he's there 5 days a week. He is a different child than he was in Sept and makes improvements daily. The teacher is a saint, I continue to wonder how we have been so blessed with all these amazing people.

The Developmental Pediatrician at Bethesda told us over the summer that she was not "inclind" to use the word autistic and we breathed a huge sigh of relief. He is listed as "developmentally delayed" on his mililtary records and is in EFMP. The school also has him listed as "DD" and not "autistic."

I know it's a scary place to be. But you need to remember that every kid is different. Some take their sweet time doing what they are "expected" to do by the developmental sheets. But the sooner you have everything checked out, the sooner you can start working with him if you need to. Or, you can just relax and know that he is okay. I credit so much of Sawyer's success to the fact that we started so early. The whole situation is frightening I know and being a first time mom must make it more so.

But you are doing all the right things by reaching out and asking questions. If you live in Arlington or even if not and you need a starting place, call Linda Peebles at Arlington PIE. She was one of Sawyer's therapists and became our case worker when our original one went on maternity leave. I know she'd be happy to talk to you and start you in the right direction. 703/228-1632 I'll shoot her an email and give her a heads' up.

Good luck and please feel free to email if you have any questions about the MTFs around here or the Docs we see or Tricare, etc.

Take Care!

M. Carlton

If you are in Prince William County, VA, please check out this website:
http://www.pwcgov.org/default.aspx?topic=010009000830000641

If you are not in PWC - find something similar by looking up early intervention in your county.

This is the PIE program (Parent Infant Education), which deals with many areas of delays in children. We have experience with this with both of my kids - my daughter was developmentally delayed and receiving services for speech/language delay and is now in the ChildFind program through PWC schools - she's now 3 and started in PIE at around 18 months. My son also sees an occupational therapist for feeding issues through PIE and started when he was about 10 months. They have done wonders with both of my kids.

My daughter had severe fluid in her ears as an infant/early toddler - we saw an ENT and they put tubes in here ears and she's doing fabulous now - but is still delayed in her language skills.

a hearing test wouldn't hurt. it might be something simple like ear wax.

Dear L.,

My ex was so slow in verbalizing and learning that his Mother thought he was retarded! Turns out he is an extremely intelligent man (easily passed the VA Bar later on, Phi Beta Kappa in college), but for one or another reason, he was very very slow in his development. This persisted right through high school. Today, there is no vestige of this slowness, and fortunately, his parents were patient and loving. Please do not worry. Perhaps it is time for another child? I think screening at 18 mos for autism is ridiculous.

It never hurts to have things checked out. He really should not have said the A word unless he truly saw something concerning. Just slower speech does not mean autistic! I am a pediatric occupational therapist and work with many children with developmental problems as well as autistic children. While autism can be diagnosed at such a young age they typically don't do it until 2 or 3 with full testing. If it is just slower language then I wouldn't stress too much. If there are concerns with eye contact, gestures (pointing, waving, arms up to be picked up), sensory processing issues (sensitive to lights, noises, textures), motor delay (fine or gross motor), repetitive behaviors or other concerns then maybe be a little more worried. If you as a parent don't feel anything is wrong then don't stress too much and just have an outside person take a look. If you have further questions feel free to contact me! Our clinic does pediatric OT assessments and we DO take Tricare. So if there are sensory concerns or motor concerns we would be happy to look at him. There are also speech therapists in the area that do take Tricare, but they tend to have wait lists.

Hi L.,

First of all know that all children develop in different stages. He may just decide to verbalize and go to sentences next week! Don't fret.

My thought is this; have you considered a music class? I teach Kindermusik and have found over the years that some children begin to sing words, and chant nursery rhymes before they are actually communicating with words! They make these sounds relaxed and comfortably with the music being their guide. See if there is a Kindermusik class near you!

Many counties have wonderful "child find" programs which can alleviate any fears you may have as they work with slower develpmental children all the time. You can find these programs through your county gov. program or a preschool or your pediatrician. It is good to help this development now rather than later in school when they are struggling.

My best to you L. and your baby L..

Sincerely,
P. Phillips
Kindermusik teacher
www.kindermusikoffairfax.com
to find a class in your area: www.kindermusik.com