18 Month Old and Fear Around Groups and Other Kids

Sounds like my son! He's almost 3 now and it has gotten better, but he's now lapsed back into screaming/crying when I leave or my husband leave him with anyone.

What we did was avoid any large groups and things that were overstimulating and focused on small playdates or groups that were less overwhelming for him.

If he sees social situations as a fun experience then they'll continue to get better for him.

He has gotten much better with age. We took him to a Tiger game at around 18 months and I ended up walking around with him for about 30 minutes or more and he just wouldn't calm down so we left.

I encourage you not to be too hard on yourselves! You have not been "too quick to cuddle" - you have been meeting your babies needs!! Kudos to you for that. Far too many parents keep their kids at a distance because they don't want them to be dependent on them - guess what? Babies and kids ARE made to be dependent, that is why they have parents. You are doing a great job. Your little guy may just be more sensitive to changes in his environment and loud surprising noises - no worries about that - he is little.

I agree with the other post about a play group where the players are the same at the same place. My other thought is to do play-dates where you go to someone's house with just one other kid there, or you have a mom/kid over to your house. Your son might be more comfortable initially being at his own house. I also recommend putting away any toys that are his favorites that may become a sharing issue, just to ensure success. Of course, be sure to tell him ahead of time who is coming, and what will be happening. Photos are great for this!

I would not rush or push. One play experience of some sort is enough. Also, note random opportunities that are not scheduled - the libraray, the park, a store.

Your cuddles communicate to him that the world is a great place and that you are there for him. Don't stop!!!

he is totally normal. he is a baby. loud noises are scary for babies.

my daughter was very sensitive also cried for vacuums, blenders etc.. she is finally ok with these noisy things at age 4.

my son is very easy going. but when we started going to playgroup at 16 months he was a bit afraid and would hang on my leg for a while.

I would suggest finding a playgroup that you can join.. go the same place every week.. with the same kids and the same moms.. he will gradually get better at these things. He cannot interact with other kids at this age.. He cant talk enough to have a converstation with another toddler. Kids are not able to play together until 3 or 4 years old. Once he begins to talk it will also improve his skills at group activities..

.. I dont think 18 months is old enough for the circus or a pistons game. Did you really think the baby would sit and watch a pistons game? If I took mykids to a sporting event I would spend my time entertaining them and not watching the game.. they wouldnt like it and I wouldnt like it.

wait until he is older maybe 3 for these types of things.. heis just a baby.

Separation anxiety often re-appears in the middle of the second year & seems to come out of nowhere. it's a developmental stage and will pass. The more in-stride you can take it, the sooner it will pass. Comfort and helping with the loud noises (headset or ear plugs maybe? worked with my granddaughter who hated parades after hearing a cannon fire at one). Some kids are just going to come unglued by things that don't bother others. Some fear clowns and there's no way to talk them out of it. Keep him close, talk to him, take him outside when you need to or sit in the back - do what you need to do. You can try finding books about fears in the library or bookstore and reading those to him in between times. Try not to make him feel guilty or inferior to other kids because he does this. It's important to him right now and you may never fully understand why.

Mine is slow to warm up to new situations. Sometimes it will take him about an hour or so to feel comfortable playing or being around people who aren't around all the time. While I hate being his security blanket for that hour or so, I do it because I know that it helps him get comfortable with the situation and people.

He spends a lot of time watching what the older kids do as well. He's just really cautious about new people and places. It's getting better though because I take him to the same places, so he recognizes it and gets excited to be there sooner.

However, there are situations where I know that he's totally overwhelmed. That's when he tries dragging me to the door so we can leave the situation! Like if there's too much going on in a small space, then he really doesn't like being there.

I just keep trying to expose him to new things and people. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. All we do is try to encourage him to try and cuddle.

My son is 20 months and we decided a while ago that we are going to wait on things like the circus, ball games and the like until he's older because there's just too much going on and he'd probably freak out. That's just his personality.