My first girl stopped nursing in the night at 18mo, as she understood the command "sleep". She would just role back to sleep. My second girl understands the command, but is upset by it. Well, she wakes up upset and "needing" to nurse, and telling her to sleep isn't of much comfort. We co-sleep, so it's easy to nurse her. She instantly falls asleep, and I can remove the boob easily. This month she just won't sleep for very long. She wakes 5-15 times a night. I'm thinking maybe getting her own bed next to me could help.
Thoughts?
The sleep expert we worked with specifically warned us not to use the word sleep. We could tell our son it was time to rest or to lie down quietly (and he would generally fall asleep a few minutes later). I know that using the word sleep worked with your first child, but the expert warned us not to use it before we ever did, so I'm guessing that it is not unusual not to have success when telling a young child to sleep.
Wow, 15 wakings a night--yikes! If you like co-sleeping, you can try a few things before resorting to the other bed. I co-sleep and still nurse my 18 month old, but was able to cut out all night nursing (between night-night and waking, no earlier than 6) when he was around one year old, so I'm not sure how it works to change things at this age. I did that because I thought he was waking up to nurse, and it did cut out most of the night wakings. But lately we 've been having issues with him waking too early and having restless sleep. I've thought about putting him in a separate bed/separate room, mostly because I need my sleep, but haven't gotten around to it. What's been working for me is to try to figure out if there's something bugging him (tummy, tooth, stuffy nose) and deal with that; and playing possum, that's really my best trick (but I only started doing that once I made it so he can't get out of bed easily). Sometimes I have to get up for serious comforting (rocking chair and singing) but mostly pats, rubbing his back, humming, making soothing sounds, and giving him his lovey will comfort him enough that he'll sleep again. Also, putting him to bed earlier and making sure he had enough naps (sleep begets sleep theory) seems to have helped too. It really only took a few days to cut out night nursing. Hope you get more sleep soon!
I commend you on being able to co-sleep with your daughter!!! I wanted to do the same with my son, but he's so restless a sleeper, and I'm so light of a sleeper that it met with disastrous results when he was able to roll, etc. I think the co-sleeping might be enabling the behavior during the night. She needs to be able to self-soothe and fall back to sleep on her own. I don't know how you feel about it, but maybe it's time for her to have her own bed in her own room (or sister's room). It's definitely something that would take an adjustment on all sides, but in the long run, it may benefit both you and your daughter.
I also want to thank you for nursing your daughter this long!! My son turned 2 at the end of October, and he still nurses at bedtime. It's always nice to see someone else making the same decision and having it be the right decision for them. I think that's what this nursing at night issue is going to take: a decision by you that you can stick with. Whatever works for your family is obviously the right decision! However, sometimes we have to try lots of different things (own bed in the same room, own room, etc) before we find what works! Good luck!
Hi there,
We aren't co-sleeping, so I'm not sure if this advice will help or not...
Our 14 month old is still breast fed and waking 1-3 times a night. Lately she hasn't been going back to sleep easily after breast feeding (we breast feed at night when she wakes up). If she had her way, she'd just be on the breast for hours!
What I did was tell her that it was time to go to sleep (after breast feeding her when she woke at night), that I was tired, her daddy was sleeping, her friends were sleeping, etc. She got really upset the first time, but I just told her sweetly and held her and tried to soothe her back to sleep without the breast. I gave in the first night and breast fed her again because she was so upset, but I have repeated this approach several nights and she fusses less and less each time.
Maybe this would work for you, if you try to explain it to her? I figure it's like anything else we try to teach our little ones. It is disruptive when trying to make this change because it's upsetting to them, but it would be great for BOTH of you if she could sleep with less interruptions!
I felt guilty not giving her the breast whenever she asked for it since I've always fed on demand, but repeated breast feeding at night is not sustainable and seems like our little ones are at the age that they should be able to sleep uninterrupted for longer stretches with some guidance from us.
Good luck!
H.
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Hi again,
I forgot to tell you, I've been using Elizabeth Pantely's "gentle removal plan". I think it's working well. See this article for an explanation...
http://www.pantley.publisherspal.com/web/books/0071381392...
Hope things are improving!
H.
