18-Month-old Hitting

My son is also 19 months now. He went through a hitting phase (luckily it's over now I think...*prays silently*)

He is generally well behaved but IS very "hands on." He touches EVERYTHING, and is mastering climbing on, in, under, over EVERYTHING...

I've told him no, but he doesn't care. I've made stern faces, he doesn't care. We've instituted "time outs" in the naughty chair and while it hasn't been magical...it at least helps us distinguish limits. I'm totally ok with his touching stuff...so long as he knows that when Mommy says NO, she MEANS NO! Now is the time to establish discipline as he's reaching a dangerous place...lol...since he can REACH just about everything!!!

My son doesn't seem to MIND time outs so much. He sits there happily for up to 2 minutes...and enjoys a hug when he's done. I've even found him putting the chair in the naughty spot and hopping in when he's not in trouble... So I wonder how deeply effective it is at the moment, but it DOES give me as the parent an option of really establishing, that whatever just happened is not ok.

Oh boy its so much fun. My daughter started doing the exact same things at 18 months, shes 25 months now and it still happens, but not as frequently. I did the same at first, telling her no and trying to explain WHY to her. Why shes mad, why she shouldn't do that, and everything in between. Eventually I figured out that NOT reacting to it emotionally with an emphatic NO was the best way to go. At least with the hitting, mostly because she did it to get me riled up and once it stopped doing that, she gave up on it really. So now if she hits I tell her calmly as if it were no big deal, "no hitting, only kisses" and just move on from there.

But so far as throwing things I tell her not to and put whatever it is away and out of her reach and get her out of the situation shes in so shes distracted, and its been working perfectly. Usually they do these things to show that they're mad or to get attention or to show how they feel so by taking her out of whatever situation shes in thats making her act that way really helps.

But you seem like you've got it under control and know what your doing and just know that its EVERY OTHER KID out there too, not just yours :o) and the method does work! It just isn't as instantaneous as we'd like but they do smooth themselves out over the months and in the meantime as mothers realizing that these outbursts are your child's way of trying to sort out their emotions that they're feeling and seeing them grow into them and develop a healthy way of working them out really makes you proud. Eventually he will be able to tell you hes mad, and why and you and him can find a way to work it out and fix it. My daughter just hit that marker about a couple months ago and her tantrums are all but nonexistent. (unless she misses a nap lol) But Good Luck! And God Bless!

My son, who's 3, went though this and still has his moments.

18 months is still young to thoroughly understand "NO"...so I didn't panic when it seemed as though he wasn't listening. Just pick a discipline action ( a constant "NO", a stern look, et cetera) and stick to it. The key, I've found, to successful parenting is consistency. Hope this helps.

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Some kids take a while a year maybe! It depends. Time outs worked for me but be consistent. They will get out. Just keep going, they are stubborn. My middle on was tough. She is much better now, she took a good year or time outs etc. it is the age too!

M. - SAHM and WAHM and love it!

Colleen's response was great so I won't repeat. I just want to add that we had a lot of success showing our son how he COULD react when he was mad: "You do not hit mommy. You can hit this pillow." or jump up and down or use your (toy) mallet to bang in your (toy) nails. Giving him a way to acceptably express his anger/frustration in addition to the advice Colleen gave really worked for us.

I echo Colleen's recommendation, too. No reaction, showing him what he can do ("gentle touches" with patting my arm), removing the object or taking him away from the situation (this we use most of the time with success), and PATIENCE. :) It took a while for my son. It is very frustrating when it seems like whatever method you are using isn't doing anything, but in reality it really is teaching him about what we do (and don't do) in the world. It just takes a while for them to figure it out, with lots of trying over and over! At under 3, time outs and "no" aren't very useful. Stay the course, be calm, and try to understand it is just his way of figuring out the world. You are his teacher to guide him in how we act in the world around us.

L.