My 17 month old daughter goes to bed without too much of a fight and sleep soundly from about 8pm to 12 or 1 am. The first time she wakes up, I usually nurse her and she goes back down. Then she just keeps waking up. I have been trying to just pat her on the back and to not pick her up or to nurse her but when I do this, she will cry and scream so hard for so long, she will make herself throw up and wake up our 5 year old who has school in the morning.
We have tried the no nursing and no picking up method for up to 3 nights in a row and nobody in the house slept. Now I am right back to nursing at midnight, then bringing her to my bed at about 3 am. Once she is in our bed she will sleep until about 6 or 7.
I am wondering if I wean her if it will help at all. Oh and by the way, as much as she loves her Daddy, she does NOT want him at night it is Mommy or scream. Help me, I need some sleep!
It sounds to me like you are already doing exactly what she needs. Nursing and mommy snuggles appear to be what gets you and her the most sleep. Why change what's working?
You have to decide what to do and do it. You are confusing her by changing the rules in the middle. At 17 months, she might be getting her eye teeth which are usually hard to come through. She might be reacting to that although if you reinforce the behavior it will stick around as long as you let it. I am old school and believe when the parent changes, the child will change. No choices. The family might have to go 5 days without sleep but if that what it takes then you will have a child who can self regulate and get back to sleep on her own. I would not wean until after this whole thing is accomplished. Too much trauma at once, but it must be done. Give a sensory diet throughout the day including lots of jumping from the floor, epsom salts in the bath, spinning, pushing and pulling heavy objects. This will optimize her level of arousal and she will be calmer.
i ended up weaning my son at 17 months for the same reasons (plus i was 5 months pregnant and desperately needed that sleep instead of being an all-night pacifier). Daddy started putting him to bed and would go to him at night when he woke up. We did this over a long weekend because we knew it would make everyone lose sleep, but after 3 days he stopped waking at night and we were all much better rested and happier.
My kids weren't nursing at night after 9-12 months or so, but I know this is so hard to go through. When we dropped feedings at that age, I learned a few things:
Only eliminate one feeding at a time. Sounds like the first one is a good one, so work on her second nighttime waking.
It will take three nights. It just does. The first one will be the hardest, but it's best not to go back and forth. Decide, and do it.
It really helped to have my husband go. He could NOT whip out the breast if he wanted to, and the kids knew it. Sure, the first night was hard, but it got better. And someone was still there, loving them.
Eighteen month olds are pretty stubborn, so I don't know how that will translate. It could be teething or fear. If it were me, I'd probably wait a bit to see if it goes away.
Good luck!
my 18 month wakes up occasionally, but he always goes back to sleep within 2 or 3 minutes. does your daughter have any comfort items? paci or even a bottle? i give my son 1/2 bottle of warm milk before bed.. and he just carries the empty bottle into the crib with him. when he wakes up, he suckles on the empty bottle and it eases him back to sleep. I'm sorry but I'd probably go crazy if my son woke up like that! your daughter should be old enough to comfort herself back to sleep without mommys help - i'm sorry to hear you're having issues. but like I said, my son would do the same thing if he didn't have a comfort item.
I'm sure you already do this - but another way my son sleeps good at night is by having the same routine. baths are obviously a great way to get them tired... we read a few books, bottle of warm milk, and off to bed. Does your daughter have a full tummy before bed? It surprises me that she would need to wake up and nurse. good luck :) hopefully you get some more sleep soon!
(sorry so long - but another note) my son never slept through the night until I stopped nursing him at 8 months. it seems like they need the comfort of mommy and nursing when they know it's there. maybe the weaning would help her sleep better once she's used to it.
Why not make it easy on all involved: co sleep and nurse when she wants? No one loses sleep, no one stresses, your daughter feels safe and secure and loved and all are happy.
I co slept with my daughter and nursed her till she was 4. People seem to be in a rush to have their children grow up. Your daughter is 1.5 years old, let her be a baby, before you know it you'll be at her wedding wondering where the time went. Snuggle, nurse, love, sleep and be happy!
