Hello everyone
I am hoping for some good advice. We have a 17 mo. old who has recently started to hit everyone. At home its not so bad he does it sometimes but if I drop him off at the gym in the daycare he will hit the little ones there. I took all the kids to the playground yesterday and he went over to a little boy who was playing by himself and took his toy then his arms started to swing at him and he did it with another little girl. It could happen at any time and its always him going after everyone else. Otherwise he is a very happy, fun loving child. He has a very good personality but then there is this "phase" that he is going through. It doesnt seem like the other kids his age are doing this and I dont remember my 9 nad 7 year olds doing it and if so it wasnt on this level. I know they are learning emotions and cause and effect at this age because he will sometimes hit me then hug me to say sorry but its starting to get out of control and I feel so uncomfortable when we are around other children and he is the only one doing this. Like I said he does have older brothers but they arent hitting each other (most of the time)
I have tried to ignore it and not make a big deal of it, I have just removed him from the situation and just tried saying "no, we dont do that" but nothing is working. I hope there is someone out there that can offer advice to get us through what I hope is just a phase but its been about 2 months now and getting more often
Thanks
K.
I think you need to take this more seriously. No one wants your kid walking up to their children and hitting them. Even at 17 mo. yes it's a phase but you don't just ignore it. You need to be firm and REMOVE him, calmly.
Is he seeing this modeled in the older kids??
Hi K.,
Wow, I am pretty sure I posted the exact same thing a couple of months ago. My son was doing the same thing, beating up everyone he saw, no matter where or who. I stopped going to the gym completely, and really cut back on my outside activities because he was so bad and nothing worked to stop him. My best advice to you is check to see if he is teething. That was a big part of what it was with mine. Turned out his two year molars were coming in. I have a 18 month old girl and she just got in a bunch of teeth. He may just be in pain and angry. Taking him out of the house when he is hurting may just upset his schedual and make him madder. It is a bad phase but sooner or later it has to end. My 2 1/2 year old actually started hugging his sister (a miricle in my book) so have faith. This too shall pass, hit him off with some motrin if he seems really agressive, may be the teeth and he just doesn't have a way to tell you.
When my son was 2 1/2 he sunk his teeth into a little girls head one day! He left a terrible, terrible mark. I was absolutely mortified. I put him in his room becuase I was so upset and then came outside and cried my eyes out! Later I realized he was finally getting his two year molars. That week was a terrible week.He was grumpy misrable and struck out at everyone. He was probalby feeling rotten.
If he is teething maybe you can make sure he has painkiller or a binky or whatever you fel comfortable with.
Personally I let my children have binkys untill their done teething to prevent this. The same son is getting his 6 year molars (late again at 8) and he told me, "Mom I feel like I want to just bite on something!". Luckily hes old enough to control himself.
Also, check into his nap routine. Children this age still need between 12-14 hours of sleep. Is he getting this? Does his nap time need changed to a different time? Maybe he is getting tired when you go the park but becuase of his energetic nature your missing it. Read "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurckinca for tips on how to tell hidden signs of tiredness that we miss as moms and ways to actually get them to nap and sleep for the time their supposed to.
My feeling is you still have to let them know its wrong not matter what the reason is but as parents we need to be vigilant and find ways to prevent the behaviour.
Knowing that he has a hitting problem you have to follow him around the playground. You have to be right there. You cant leave him unsupervised for a second. This is a pain for you but it will make sure the other kids are protected.
Kids this age need constant repeitition. They need to know that it doesnt matter how many times they do the action they are going to get a consequence for it. You have to be consistent.
Let him know what you expect in his words before you go to the park. Talk to him about positive touch nad have him touch you or a teddy that way nad praise him. Tell him thats what we do with the other boys and girls. Have him practice at home on his brotehrs and praise praise praise!. Get your older boys involved by helping them set the example. Explain to htem what your trying to do and school them in how you want them to react if your 17 month old hits them. This may be agentle no no no, hands are for helping not hitting and immediately get your 17 month old to do something nice. He will quickly learn the joy of helping hands!
Also if you find your son raise his hand to hit antoher child when you are out I owuld suggest that that is when you should put him in time out. He cant even come close to hitting another child. If you have a stroller take him back to hte stroller, strap him in and give him his time out there. Just a few second or a minute so he doesnt forget why hes there. At the end remind him again to show you how to use his hands by doing something kind to you and then let him play again with you in tow. After his third warning/timeout tell him if he does it one more time we'll have to go home. This gives him a chance to do the right thing. Stick to your word. He will learn quiclky that mummy is going to be consistent aswell as learning the joy of beahving coreectly.
Sorry this is long but hope it helps
If he hits, I think you should immediately remove him from the situation. Even if that means in the middle of a play date, group activity, etc. Just tell him "we're leaving because you're hitting and hitting is not allowed." I would think it's just a phase. If he keeps getting taken home (from the gym, park, etc.) he may get the picture faster.
I have this problem, but it is me who he hits. I hold his had firmly and say "no hit", "we are not allowed to hit". He smacks me right in the face and will not stop. I hold his hands, and the second I release them he smacks me. It is really embarrasing, but more frustrating than anything. I don't have a problem ignoring him when he does it, but I don't think that is a decent remedy. Thank Goodness that he does not hit other kids, because that would be worse. I think that this is very difficult nonetheless.
Good luck to you!
