Hi Holly,
My youngest will be 3 the end of this month. She now likes regular milk, I started her on soy because she didn't like (wouldn't drink) regular milk. She drank it for a little over a year. I bought vanilla flavored by accident and stuck with it because she liked it. Now, to get her to drink more milk, I add about a teaspoon of flavored coffee creamer. She really likes cinnamon creme, irish cream, and vanilla. I keep them on hand for her nap time cuppy (only cuppy) - she drinks regular milk in regular cups. I also still warm it a little, just enough to take the chill off, it helps her sleep. : )
I completely understand you when you say you feel lost without your children. I have 4. My oldest just moved away to her father's house (about 2 1/2 hours away) to go to college! This is the longest we have been apart. :(
My girls used to go to granparents for weekends, and when they were 6 and 8, they went for almost the whole summer. It was very heart-breaking for me and never wanted to do that again, but I had to the next summer because I couldn't afford day care anymore. So, I quit my job and moved into a tiny 2-room apartment in my parents' basement!!
As for weaning, I would say to just try to cut out 1 nursing time every couple days or longer if it takes him that long to adjust and depending on how long you want the process to take - weeks or months.
Try stopping the "when he's hungry during the day" first and give him a cuppy at that time, or a snack - something to distract him from nursing. When this one is out of his mind and he no longer asks for it, try stopping a nap time nursing. (You didn't say how many naps he takes during the day.) But do the same, distract him. Try a warm milk cuppy. If he doesn't like regular milk, try soy-or flavored soy or the flavored coffe creamer, just a teaspoon or so.
Crying it out isn't always a bad thing. I don't like it much myself, but sometimes it is necessary. I had to with my son, now 8. Living in the tiny apartment in my parents' basement, I gave the girls the bedroom, with the new baby, and I slept in the living room. My girls were in school, so when the baby woke, I would get him and let him sleep with me the rest of the night - so he wouldn't wake them. Then, we moved into a 3-bedroom and he had his own room. I did have to use the cio method for him to get used to being in his own room and sleeping all night - at 14 months old. It took about 3 days for him to stop crying during the night - without nursing, and about 1 week for him to sleep through the night. He would wake up and call for me once or twice and when I didn't answer, he would go back to sleep.
I hope some of this rambling helps out. Good luck