16 Mth Old, Sleep, Breastfeeding, Weaning: Advice Needed

Updated on October 02, 2009
H.V. asks from Panama, NY
11 answers

Our son is almost 16 mths old and has only been breastfed. He never took a bottle, briefly liked binkies. and now will only drink from a cuppy, but only drinks iced tea, water, or pop from a cuppy. I think his favorite in a cuppy is iced tea or pop. I can't get him to drink milk of any kind from a cuppy.

he does have a good appetite for table foods. so I give him table foods too.

I would like him to be weaned from breastfeeding. I think it may be more of a habit (what he's used to) than what is really necessary right now. He nurses to sleep for his naps and at bedtime at night. and sometimes when he's hungry during the day.

Today when he was getting tired for his nap, I went to try to nurse him down to sleep...but he kept acting like he wanted to play, so I got up and left. I ended up letting him cry to sleep. which I kinda felt bad about. I've always been against CIO =(

I've been wondering if I should try to get someone to keep him for a day or two to see how it goes. but I don't want to leave him with anyone. or even to leave him for a bit while I go grocery shopping. but I like to keep my little ones with me always. I'm a stay at home mom and I feel lost without them.

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So What Happened?

last night I moved his crib away from our bed (the side is off and we used it as extra sleeping space for him, so I could roll over and nurse him at night). I got him to sleep by nursing and he slept until about 1am. which then I picked him up and took him to the livingroom to nurse, and then layed him on the couch, he slept for another hour, and then woke up again at about 2...nursed him back to sleep and put him back on the couch....nursed him back to sleep and then he got up about 3:30... so then we got up and started our day, because he seemed wide awake. he wanted something to eat at the table. so I gave him some peanut butter on bread and some chocolate milk, which he didn't drink. Do you think moving the crib, will help in weaning? I wonder.

How do you get them to drink milk? I will avoid the pop and iced tea. sorry...

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J.S.

answers from New York on

hello, thia story sounds very familar to me, me daughter now 2 1/2 yrs old was a breastfeed baby, around 9months I introduced her to the sippy cup, my mistake I only put water or juice in it,when she was 1 yr old I tried to put milk but it wasn't,So one day I decided to put milk in and leave it next to her, no juice no water around her just the milk, finally after a couple of hrs she took it! because it was the only thing she could drink, after that she was fine.
Hope this helps
J.

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T.W.

answers from New York on

Try vanilla enriched rice milk. It has a very thin consistency and according to other mom's tastes as similar as you can get to breastmilk.

We are weaning my son from soy formula to this and so far he loves it.

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K.L.

answers from New York on

I would decrease breastfeeding to the beginning and end of the days and try to get him to drink cow's milk in a cup in the middle of the day. I would be hesitant to completely give up nursing if that was my child's only source of milk. If I were you, I would stop giving him soda altogether. I do not even want my four year old wasting calories on something completely non-beneficial. Milk, water, and juice diluted with water are the best bets for the sippy cup. I echo the last reader in congratulating you on the long term breastfeeding.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

I still nurse my 18 month old son before bed and when he is having a meltdown so my advice is limited but I hope helpful. My son will not drink milk either. I give him fortified Motts apple juice with water. Also, he eats a Yobaby yogurt with added whipping cream and lots of Beachnut cereal every day. I use this brand because it has the most calcium of any cereal brand. Also for breakfast I give him jarred cereal (with calcium) and that Beachnut cereal and milk or cream mixed in. Earth's Best is a good one but Beechnut and Gerber make good ones too. I don't knw how I am going to get my son to go to sleep without nursing either. But, YES! Get the crib out of your room. Everyone will sleep better that way. My son only wakes up if he is sick. And not to make you feel bad or anything but soda pop at 16 months??? Why??

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N.H.

answers from New York on

Hi Holly,
My youngest will be 3 the end of this month. She now likes regular milk, I started her on soy because she didn't like (wouldn't drink) regular milk. She drank it for a little over a year. I bought vanilla flavored by accident and stuck with it because she liked it. Now, to get her to drink more milk, I add about a teaspoon of flavored coffee creamer. She really likes cinnamon creme, irish cream, and vanilla. I keep them on hand for her nap time cuppy (only cuppy) - she drinks regular milk in regular cups. I also still warm it a little, just enough to take the chill off, it helps her sleep. : )

I completely understand you when you say you feel lost without your children. I have 4. My oldest just moved away to her father's house (about 2 1/2 hours away) to go to college! This is the longest we have been apart. :(
My girls used to go to granparents for weekends, and when they were 6 and 8, they went for almost the whole summer. It was very heart-breaking for me and never wanted to do that again, but I had to the next summer because I couldn't afford day care anymore. So, I quit my job and moved into a tiny 2-room apartment in my parents' basement!!

As for weaning, I would say to just try to cut out 1 nursing time every couple days or longer if it takes him that long to adjust and depending on how long you want the process to take - weeks or months.

Try stopping the "when he's hungry during the day" first and give him a cuppy at that time, or a snack - something to distract him from nursing. When this one is out of his mind and he no longer asks for it, try stopping a nap time nursing. (You didn't say how many naps he takes during the day.) But do the same, distract him. Try a warm milk cuppy. If he doesn't like regular milk, try soy-or flavored soy or the flavored coffe creamer, just a teaspoon or so.

Crying it out isn't always a bad thing. I don't like it much myself, but sometimes it is necessary. I had to with my son, now 8. Living in the tiny apartment in my parents' basement, I gave the girls the bedroom, with the new baby, and I slept in the living room. My girls were in school, so when the baby woke, I would get him and let him sleep with me the rest of the night - so he wouldn't wake them. Then, we moved into a 3-bedroom and he had his own room. I did have to use the cio method for him to get used to being in his own room and sleeping all night - at 14 months old. It took about 3 days for him to stop crying during the night - without nursing, and about 1 week for him to sleep through the night. He would wake up and call for me once or twice and when I didn't answer, he would go back to sleep.

I hope some of this rambling helps out. Good luck

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A.I.

answers from Buffalo on

I just weaned my 3 yr old this past summer. Does your son understand the idea of "boo-boos" and bandaids? I weaned by covering my nipples with bandaids and telling my son that they had boo-boos and we had to keep the bandaids on. He took it pretty well since I wasn't just refusing the breast, there was a "reason" why he couldn't have it, you know? He did have a couple nights where he freaked out on me and cried, but I just comforted him and reminded him of the bandaids and eventually he settled down. The only bad part is having to wear the bandaids on your nipples, lol. He only wakes up once a night now, and I just let him cuddle next to me and he goes back to sleep. You could also consider nursing until two or closer to that age because 1 1/2 yr olds seem to have more separation anxiety.

As far as milk goes, it's really not necessary as long as the child is getting calcium from somewhere. You can give cheese, cottage cheese and yogurt instead. Or you can always get a calcium supplement to give with meals. I get some by Nature's Plus from www.vitacost.com and my son loves them.

J.F.

answers from Fayetteville on

My daughter is 23 months old. I am in the process of weaning right now. She ONLY took breastmilk for her first 18 months. I started introducing table foods, but she NEVER drank from a sippy cup until I started weaning her and wouldn't give her the breastmilk. If you're wanting to wean him, start off by taking away one feeding at a time. Gradually take more away as he and you get comfortable with it. I do NOT believe in letting the cry it out, but when I stopped giving her "nummy" which was what we called it, the only thing she'd do is cry. So, I just held her until she fell asleep. It broke my heart, but she is doing very good. She hasn't had ANY "nummy" in 3 days now. She drinks water from sippy cups and some juice. I hope this helped! Good luck... and good for you for breastfeeding! (:

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R.E.

answers from New York on

I might not be the right one to answer your question because I still nurse my 3 year old -and my other child stopped on her own at 18 months-I love the Dr.Sears book-He is big on breastfeeding until they are ready to wean. Unless of course you feel it is not right for you. I think my 3 year old will be ready soon-but it doesnt bother me because it makes her so happy. My aunt nursed my cousin until she was 5! We all made fun of her-but today my cousin is very sweet and good person-I have read that in other countries they nurse very long as well.Your child is still getting benifits from it. I wish you luck-you sound like a wonderful mom and I am sure what ever decision you make will be the right one for you and your little one! By the way-I would never leave my kids a couple days with anyone else either-your baby might be done with breastfeeding soon on his own! Good luck and god bless-

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J.B.

answers from Binghamton on

Hi Holly --
It sounds as if your little one still needs the closeness with you and/or the sucking. Many children need to continue nursing for longer than he has had with you. It must be very satisfying for him. Let him tell you when he no longer needs so much closeness. Children who nurse into toddlerhood and are allowed to wean themselves gradually usually turn out to be happy, secure, well-adjusted children. That is worth a lot! I hope that you can hang in there for him!
Incidentally, the ice tea contains caffeine and the soda pop is carbonated, neither of which is recommended for children. Suggestion: Dilute the iced tea slightly with some kind of 100% fruit juice (try several until you find what he likes best.) Then gradually cut down on the tea and add more juice and water until he is drinking only juice slightly diluted with water.
Do a similar thing with the soda pop -- dilute it with fruit juice and gradually cut down on the ratio of the carbonated drink and the juice until he builds up a taste for the slightly diluted fruit juice. Many problems in later life stem from children acquiring a taste for sweet carbonated drinks which are full of corn syrup and empty calories.
I hope that this has been helpful for you.

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A.T.

answers from Buffalo on

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with the iced tea as long as it's decaf and you don't use sugar. About the only thing I drink is decaf tea sweetened with Stevia (the high concentrated 80%+ Reb A). Stevia is a natural fiber and tastes most like sugar and it's commonly used in other countries as a sugar substitute in sodas. It's also great for diabetics. The soda I wouldn't give, though. My son has had a few sips here and there out of our cups because he wants to drink like us but that's rare. Have you tried formula if he doesn't like milk? Or a different percentage of milk? Instead of whole or 2% maybe 1%, which has less fat so it's slightly thinner. That might help. Getting him to drink milk, I can't really help you on because my guy eats and drinks anything. He tried to eat a raw onion the other day. LOL

Anway, as for decreasing nursing, I'm in the same boat. Weaning won't work because he fights me on it. My son thinks of me as a drink fountain he can come to during the day. He's almost 20 months old and he will FIGHT me to get my boo out of my shirt and bra. And he's darn good at getting it. I try to give him the cup and sometimes he takes it, sometimes it makes him madder. Giving him food helps sometimes too because if he's hungry, he goes to the boo first. Thankfully he loves to eat food.

As for sleeping through the night, my little guy still doesn't sleep all night. Like you, his crib's in our room because we're looking for a new house. Where we live it's too small so he doesn't have much of a choice other than to be in our room. I think that helps him to wake more at night and not go back to sleep because he sees me there and expects me to give him what he wants. Typically he wakes up once a night but lately it's been twice and if he's teething, it can be every couple hours. Then he learned to crawl out of his crib and was all over me at night, wanting to sleep in our bed. I finally broke down and bought a Crib Tent II (the original, my older son tore apart in 2 months) and he went right back to falling asleep on his own (after getting a little boo) as soon as I laid him down.

I would not leave him overnight with someone unless it's necessary. First, it won't do any good. I ended up in the hospital a few times and the first time, that first night was awful for my husband and Tristan. The second night and thereafter, he slept through the night. That stopped as soon as I got home. So he thinks of the boo as his comfort, like some kids do a blankie. It's not about needing the boo. Your son probably thinks of your breasts the same way, they offer comfort.

As much as you hate it, you might have to let him cry it out some. He might not know how to fally asleep without nursing and he'll have to learn. This is especially true if you always put him to sleep after he's fallen asleep from nursing. Go in and comfort him after five minutes or so of crying but don't nurse him. It might take an hour of crying/comforting on and off and you might have to do it for days but it should work...if you've got the patience for it. My little guy will scream and scream and scream and even if I leave him alone, he will scream. It's awful and I can only bear it for 45 minutes before it's too much on me and I give in. So in that respect, when it comes to the boo and going back to sleep at night on his own, he's in charge and he knwos it. I've allowed it.

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L.L.

answers from New York on

I don't have much advice but wanted to say that soda pop is not good for young children, I'd cut that out immediately. It's awful for their teeth and health.
Lynsey

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