16-Month Bites

Find out what is going on in the class when he is biting. Is it just happening at a certain time of day? Where does he usually bite (arms, back, or face). Also find out what they are doing to prevent this from happening.

My 22 month old son used to bite me and his father quite a bit at that age. He usually just got too excited while he was playing; we could tell that he thought he was being playful rather than mean, so whenever he bit me, I just stopped playing with him. His dad tried the whole biting back thing, but that only seemed to egg him on even more. Eventually he stopped, I haven't been bitten in about a month. Good luck! Sorry, I don't have any advice about the daycare thing.
E.

Hi M.,
My name is Pam and I am the proud mom of a 3 and 4 year old. Both WERE biters. I was also a biter back in the day so my mom had plenty to say in this area. This will seem harsh but my kids have not bitten since. After he bites you, bite him back. It doesn't need to be hard just enough to get the point across. It was hard for me but my mom swore by this.(only thing to get me to stopping biting as an child)! It only took one time and neither of my children have ever bitten anyone since!!!!!

This might sound mean, but it worked for my 3 year old daughter who was a TERRIBLE biter. She was kicked out of TWO daycares for biting! But what I did with her was eventually started biting her back. I would not bite her very hard, but enough to hurt her feelings and tell her that biting hurts and it is a no-no. She eventually stopped after being bit a few times and has not bitten since. Now I am in the spitting time with her! I don't spit at her, I gently pop her in the lips, but that is SOOOOOOOOO not working.. haha. Hope that advice helped you out.

Hi M.,

My daughter bit her sister and I hard enough to leave teeth marks for a while, at around 18months. A friend suggested that I give her permission to bite someone - herself. When she would bite her sister or me, I'd say "who can you bite?" She'd say "I bite myself" and then would bite herself and say "That doesn't feel good" and I'd say "it doesn't feel good to me either" and within a couple of days she stopped. We also did time out when she bit and had a book called "No Biting!" by Karen Katz. She still asks to read it and doesn't bite anymore.

M.

Hi M.,

As harsh as it seems, I used tabasco sauce for my daughter...when she bit me, I sternly told her "no that hurts", went and got the sauce and put a tiny bit on her tongue, reinforcing the fact that if she did it again she would get the same treatment. Also very important...Make sure you get eye contact with him...
(This works best if you can work with him on the weekend before he returns to pre-school). You can give positive reinforcement by rewarding him when he obeys you by exhibiting good behavior.

Hope this helps...
C.

Hi M.,
I have a 22 month old boy, and went through the same thing at about that age. He is just trying to comunicate and gets frustrated. He will grow out of it. I had tried the time outs, I tried salt in the mouth, I lightly tapped his mouth and said no biting, and we bit him back. Eventually he will grow out of it. I also worked at daycares before and there are always a couple of biters. The kids have to be really bad to be disenrolled. They should understand, he is only 16 months.
Good Luck!

I dont' know if their is one ansser that is going to get the results that you need. Ignoring it will not make it go away and sometimes the soft approach does not work either. I know alot of parents will probably be against this but the only way I found that worked for me was to bite my son back. My sister had to do the same thing with her son, every kid and situation is different. If you think this is too cruel you can try thumping him on the cheek, but for some kids this is not effective. I think you should do what you feel comfortable with but you have to get controll of it before you loose your daycare. Good Luck

Hi!

A baby usually bites for a few reasons...Frustration - can not communicate and therefore bites. Teething. My son was a terrible biter at about the same age as your baby. He would even bite babies younger than him - infants! It was horrible. I contacted the pediatrician, therapists...you name it, I was talking to EVERYONE! Finally, he bit for the last time. I put him in a pack n play in the middle of the room all by himself. He stayed in there at least an hour and every time I walked past him, I would reprimand him again. He never bit anyone again. Nothing else worked and I was at my wits end. Solitary confinement was the answer. By the way, he was a climber - and could climb out of the pnp - but he didn't because he knew he was in BIG trouble!

Hope to have helped

A.

Hello M., my advice is probably the one that makes moms cringe but he probably doesnt know biting hurts. My son didnt till I bit him back(not hard) and he said ouch!!! I said biting hurts mommy and Nicki, no biting. Its worked. It seems he picked it up at school, because he would come home with bite marks all over him from other kids. But sometimes our little angels beleive in us more than a teacher. They trust mom and what mom says is the word. It only took once and my mom did it to me. It sounds so barbarick but kids know hot cause they feel the heat and cold because they feel it. They learn by example. They dont know what the word hurt means but they know how it feels. Good luck I know its frustrating and I am a first time mom, do whats right in your heart. Im still working on the hitting and nose picking thing.Daycares are hectic my son went to one at 11 months and advertised as an early learning center. Turned out to be an early bad habit learning facility. Then he went to a private Montessori school, all was fine except the young intern who bruised up by sons arm with a nice handprint. It doesnt matter where your child is for daycare things happen, biting happens, scratching happens. I took my son out and kept him home. I grew up in the era where kids could be kids, boys play rough, some girls do, we road in a car with no seat belt while our parents smoked in the front seats and we all lived. Daycares in my opinion will try to find some phsycological problem with kids now adays.Kids are kids biting is dirty, unsanitary, harmful. But your son had to have been bitten by one of those kids to start doing himself.I would challenge the daycare on that one. They learn from example.

Wow - I didn't realize there were so many "old schoolers" out there still. I would NOT recommend biting back. Do we teach our children to hit back? To call ugly names back?

My son went through a biting stage when he was three years old. It took about 3 times for the following remedy to work-

LEMON JUICE! Immediately after the act - I'd verbally correct him as I retrieved the lemon juice - (I used bottled but I'm sure a fresh squeeze would also work.) Then, he'd get a good squirt in the mouth, as I told him how ugly & mean it was to bite someone and why. I don't know many who enjoy that sour taste. I'm sure there have been some that do, but it worked like a charm for my boy.

Good luck & please - don't bite back. (O:

I'll tell you what my mother did with me and my sibs - and I did it with my (now) 6 year old.

I couldn't convince her that biting was a bad thing. So, after she bit me (she did it for no reason - just cuz she could), I bit her back! I bit her hard enough to show that biting hurts. Then I told her that if she doesn't want to have someone bite HER, she had better not be biting others.

I know some people will freak over my solution. But, for us, nothing else was working. I told her that biting is a bad thing, and that it hurts. That never even slowed her down. So I bit her and asked her if she liked it (she said no). Then I told her that no one else likes it either.

This may not be something you're interested in doing. But, when it was done to me, I quit biting, and it really slowed my daughter down. She didn't stop biting completely (she still will if she gets angry) but she DOES remember that she doesn't want to be bitten!!

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best. Biting seems to be one of those "no win" situations that everyone has to deal with at some point - sorry!

I have known people in the same situation, and the only thing they could do to stop their child was to bite them back. I know that's a hard thing to do, but it may be the only thing that makes them understand that it hurts other children. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of work do you do out of your home? I'm looking to work from home.

My son did the same thing...I got sick of it quickly. I asked my mom what to do b/c I was a biter as a child. She said that to get me to stop biting, she bit me back, hard enough to hurt but not leave a permanant mark. I did it to CJ, my then 18 month old son and he hasn't bitten me since.

If you don't want to do that, watch her for her "symptoms" of biting. Watch what triggers it. Once you figure it out, try and keep the triggers at bay.

Hope this helps!
A.

Hi M.,
I have had this similar problem and I was able to successfully curb it immediately.I worked for the childcare industry for 2 years and I used to see this all the time and I delt with it with my own children.The daycare center will disenroll your child if the situation becomes a regular problem but it takes a lot for a child to be disenrolled. People will tell you not to do this and that it won't work or that it is traumatic for the child but I did it and from experience I can tell you IT DOES WORK!!It is up to the parent to stop this behavior before it becomes a habit and a childcare provider is not able to successfully end the biting because obviously they can't bite the child back. Children learn by experiencing things not from being told. To get my kids from biting I simply bit them back. Not so hard that I physically damaged them but hard enough to SHOW them that biting hurts. He's not gonna learn from time out and saying that it hurts you have to SHOW him that it hurts. Little kids don't have the language skills to tell you that thier frustrated and this may be the way your child is expressing his feelings. I was able to stop biting completely by using this tactic with BOTH of my kids. A lot of parents don't agree with this and I am sure many will tell you not to do it. Everyone has thier opinion. In the end you should do what YOU think is right because you're his mom. I hope that it all works out for you. Biting is a hard phase to get through as a parent.It's also hard to be the parent of a child who got bit. I know because I've been on both ends of the rope. Good Luck!!!

I have two children and I have not experienced this. But it sounds like he is having some anger. Is there any source? Obviously I don't know you or your husband but children who are non verbal tend to use physical ways to express anger. Just a thought.

be carefull i use to work at a daycare the kids who r being bit will complain and the day care will be forced to stop ur child from comming there

Wow M., I could have written this exact post! The only difference is my 16 month old is a girl. Everything else is almost identicle. My daughter bit three kids in the span of two hours last week and I too am afraid that they will disenroll. One of the things that is working at home, is that we say to our daughter STOP! very loudly and very sternly and then she goes into time out. Once her minute is up then we tell her that people aren't for biting and that it hurts them. It's getting better at home, but I'm not sure about day care. She bit another child on Monday. Yesterday was a good day, and we'll see what today brings...What book did you get about biting? I'd like to check into that myself. I know I don't have much in the way of advice, but I wanted you to know that there is another person out there going through the same thing! I'll be checking this thread to see if I get any additional advice myself. Good luck and hang in there!

This happened to me with my son. I did what most Moms would not do...I bit him back! I sat him down and explained to him that it hurt me when he bit me too. I told him how much I loved him...how it hurt me to bit him.....and that I wanted him to be a good boy and not bite anyone anymore. He never bit again.

I had this same problem and I was told more than once that we were going to find a different daycare. I made an appointment with her pediatrician and his advice was to rub something like lemon juice in her mouth. Shortly there after she quit biting.
I know how frustrating this problem is. I lost a lot of sleep over it but she eventually made the turn for the better is a very loving child know.

My daughter was a biter as well. She liked biting me for the reaction. Even when I stopped showing a reaction she'd bite me. I finally sat her down and had her bite herself. She figured out that it would hurt. Not long after that another little girl her age moved in next to us. That girl was a biter as well. I heard my dauther tell the other to bite herself and see how it felt. I don't know if she did or not but she stopped biting my daughter. Hope this helps.

Rainey bit me once - and only once. Without hesitation I bit her back. My wife, Heidi, was horrified and couldn't beleive I did it. People will line up and tell you how wrong you are, but what does a bad taste in your mouth teach you except what spices not to use?

Right or wrong - it worked and my kid doesn't bite.

Kurt

PLEASE DON"T BITE YOUR KIDS!
It shows them mommy or daddy does it, and there is another way. I hate to inflict pain on my kids, but if your livelihood is going to go down the tubes by losing your daycare--middle road approach id "thumping"...don't recal which parenting magazine I read it in, but when they bite use the verbal of "Biting hurts, I thump biters", take your thumb and forefinger, and flick just enough to startle, with a tad of pain, on the cheek, next to mouth. This way they relate the pain to their mouth also. My bigger kids, now warn their little brother, now 2, "biters get thumped". I don't recall the lastime someone got bit. No guarantees, try the gentler approach 1st,and make sure time out really is icky...no toys, maybe back in playpen, etc.... but if does not work, try thumping...and be careful if you've got fingernails. They still scrap, I got them a big swim noodle. cut it into swords, and we have sword fights to relieve tension. We still have other wounds at times, need to keep the nails at bay with scratches. Good luck!

My son did the same thing for a little while. Since he is in daycare they all seem to go through the same phase at the same time. The only thing that worked for me is when my son would bite me I would bite his hand. I know that sounds bad but it wasn't hard at all of course just enough to show him he was hurting me. It worked he doesn't bite me or the other kids anymore.

My son went through the same thing and I do in-home childcare so he was bitting the children I watched. What finally worked was rubbing pickling spice in his mouth and putting him into time-out each time he bit (very bitter, but harmless). It took a few times and it made him throw up once, but it worked and I didn't have to bite him like everyone was telling me too.

I've read through some of the other responses and I agree with the bitting back.It sounds mean but they have no idea how strong their little mouths are and how much that hurts.Every day at daycare I got to hear a bitting story about my 2yr old(now 16 yr old daughter).I felt so badfor the other children.I had to try something and one time was all it took.I also told her how much that hurt.I'd catch her attempting to bite a few times after and all I would say was do you want me to bite you? The answer was always no then she would go about her play.The old do unto others theroy has worked well for me and my 5 children.

Create something that you can attach to his clothes (with a safety pin, for example) that he can satisfy his need to bite. Maybe a plastic card of some type, or a chew toy. Also consider teaching him some sign language (you don't need a book; make up your own) so that he can communicate better.

You could try the nail biting polish - and whenver he attempts to bite - dab some in his tongue while telling him, "No bite!" He would get two different kinds of negative stimulus that way - and it's harmless.

Good luck!

When I worked in a daycare most of the time the child is bitting out of frustration. Something about what the other child is doing, frustrates him and that is how he deals with it.

Watch (or have others) and see what is happening just before the bite and there should be a pattern.

2 out of my 3 kids did that...

Bite him back... sometimes it is the only thing that works... I did... It worked

T. K

It may be that the childcare is chaotic and not very high-quality. How many children are in the room with how many adults? What is happening at the time that he bites? What preventative measures are the childcare providers taking? I totally disagree with the responder who put her child on time out in the pack and play for over an hour. That is totally inappropriate for a child that age. Every time she reprimanded him, her child had no idea what she was talking about. I think a pack and play can be useful to remove a child who has bitten but only for very brief intervals of removal. Babies can also bite for negaitve attention, so making a huge deal out of it is not necessarily the way to go. Be firm and clear with no eye contact and do not talk about it too much. I really think you should find out more about the childcare's part in this...good luck!

Hi M. - I can empathize with what you are going through. My second child (boy) was a biter (now three yrs old). Unlike the other recommendations that you have been given so far, maybe he's biting out of frustration/attention? My son was evaluated by a speech therapist at 2yrs 3mo. They explained that he had the comprehension of a three year old, but didn't have the vocabulary to match. So the only way that he could get his point across was to bite.
Let me know if I can be of more assistance. Good luck and hang in there - this too shall pass... K.

No matter what other's tell you - do not bite your child in an effort to prove that biting hurts.
I sat my son down, holding his head in my hands and spoke quietly to him explaining about pain, biting and that it was wrong. When that did not work I tried a very small amount of red pepper on his tongue as well. He did not keep the habit of biting up. I think it was the gentle talking and explaining that did change is behavior. The pepper was something that I gave up and used because of my lack of patience. Good luck.
from R.

My son went through a biting period too. I was lucky in that he only seemed to bite me, though. Every time he did it I would hold his head (so he couldn't bite me again) and very, very firmly tell him, "No! We do not bite!" It took a while (I'm talking a couple of months), but he eventually got the point. He is now 2 and he hasn't bitten anybody in ages.

If you are worried about him being disenrolled from daycare it seems that you need to discuss it with your daycare to see what measures they are taking to handle the issue. Is your son getting enough one-on-one attention? Are they taking any measures to prevent the biting from occurring? Does the biting seem to occur in certain instances such as when your son is frustrated or another child takes a toy he is playing with? If that is the case then the caregiver should be aware of these situations and try to prevent the inevitable before it happens. My son has been in daycare for 2 years and I can honestly tell you that the single most important thing you can do is communicate with your daycare. I think that so long as you are making it known that you are serious about correcting your son's behavior and are trying to coordinate efforts, they will understand and be willing to work with you. Biting is common at this age and I'm sure that if they disenrolled every kid who bites they wouldn't have any kids left!

Hang in there. When I get frustrated my mom always tells me to remember that "this too shall pass."

Good luck!
B.