Hello,
I am a mother of a 15 month old boy. He has never been the best sleeper, but we established some routines and he has adjusted. Until recently, he has gone to bed at 7:30(awake) and lied there and put himself to sleep. The last few weeks, he goes in fine, but 1/2 hr later, he starts crying. We do let him cry for short periods, but it seems that he is so restless and overtired at that point, he can't relax enough to go to sleep.
He wakes up between 7:30-8am and takes a 2 hr nap (12-2). He never gives us a problem for naps. I know it's not good to go in there and rub his back, but because he usually can put himself to sleep, I am wondering if he needs help relaxing at night? Our night routine is binky/blanket at 7. 7:30-8 bedtime. Usually the same. Any ideas? I cannot let him cry himself to sleep, but I can do it for increments.
Thank you, D.
you didn't mention bath time...often a warm bath is just as relaxing for them as for us. Followed by a rub down and a warm bottle if he still needs it....good luck !!
How about a nightly warm bath, followed by warm drink, arm caresses and a white noise machine to help him drift off?
Hello D.,
Here's our routine: We read each night a book of our son's choice, then lights out, warm milk (VERY SMALL cup) and let him fall asleep to a classical or jazz cd. Let the music play for as long as it takes.
We've been doing this since he was a baby.
Hope it helps.
Dear MOM,
I think your right he does need help to relax.
Why not switch his night time routine to 8pm,
Take him in your room, light off, hall lights off, blinds closed, door closed.
Turn on a Dark tv program that will be uninteresting to him such as CSI LAs Vegas, or True blood, OR something like this that is based on night time, with little light and action , This will help him to wind down.
Lay beside him and cuddle him in your arms for a while.
kiss him, and give him his binky AFTER he's had his bottle , and snack once he has finished asking for everything he needs to relax, lay quietly beside him, and remind him not to talk ( the binky usually stifles this LOL)
Don't answer him if he does talk.becasue this stimulates.
If you have a noisy house hold like I do, Try and get the others quieted down aswell.
I make my 13 year old, relax in his room with the lights off
at 830 sharp, he also has a bedtime of 9pm
My other little guy is in the family room with daddy playing a video game with the volume set on low.
( they tend to be more quiet with no one to play with)
Your son should fall asleep in about 30 minutes
Now I am not the biggest fan of TV but it relaxes the mind,
the noise blocks out other noises, and with you there to comfort him he will feel secure. Plus your spending one on one time with him.
When he falls asleep move him to his crib.
You could also just not turn on the tv , but I always seem to fall asleep with them when i do that LOL....
Good luck
M
PS I wanted to mention that it stays light out alot longer, now so he is probably over stimulated, and going to bed at what feels like the day time to him.
In addition tho your routine is GOOD but I just feel that rather than spend your time, going back and forth trying to MAKE him sleep independently, when he really just doesn't want to , is a waste of your time.
Why not just spend that time cuddling him to sleep. Instead of yo-yo ing. That just exhausts everyone.
Hi D.,
It sounds like you do have a great routine going however he could just be requiring less sleep then he originally did, or this is just a phase he is going through. My son slept from 7-7 no problem my daughter slept from 8:30-7 so he may just need a later bedtime. Everything else seems appropriate for his age. Do you give him a bath to relax him at night? I would let my kids play in the bath for a while to relax and tire them out as well. I wouldn't shorten his nap that also seems just right and especially since you said he gives you no problem. I do believe in cry it out but not in this situation since he does know how do put himself to sleep I wouldn't let him cry either. He obviously is trying to communicate that he is just not tired at 7:30. It could also be that it is staying light outside later then in the winter and he realizes that, do you have room darkening shades in his room? I think you are doing everything you can. I would maybe try a half your later bedtime and see if that helps and if not patting his back is not a big deal there are no rules just what works for you and your family. Good luck!!
Hi D.~
Your routine sounds great! Your little man has got his own plan also...it's how he keeps you with him longer! (I have four and each of them taught me a thing or two!). I was never big on letting them cry for long periods of time, it was way too painful to listen to. I applaud you're not doing that. In increments, fine and that can take over an hour to work through..back and forth....
Have you tried using lavender essential oil? (I'm a holistic nutritionist...so I'm big on this kind of thing).
Get a high grade lavender essential oil and rub it on the bottom of his feet. You don't need a carrier oil, but you could put a few drops into joba oil or safflower oil and just massage his little feet. Our feet, as shown through reflexology, are the map to our intestines/body parts, can help move gas and just soothe stress. You can even sprinkle it on his crib sheets or put it in something that will help emit it into the air. Lavender makes us relax, let go of stress...sleep....
Then we he's relaxed, make your husband do it for you! Good luck!! You're doing a great job!!!
M.
I think some children can relax by themselves but others need some help until they are developmentally able to do so. I nurse my son before bed and then keep my hand on his chest until he falls asleep. He is also 15 months old. Some people might not think this is good or that I am not helping him by being his "crutch". But I think that a mother needs to know her child and some children need their parents in this way more than others. I do not let him CIO...I don't think its the best aproach. Do what you think is right and don't worry.
Try bedtime 1/2 hour later without changing any of your familiar routines. Good luck!
Hi There,
Sounds like your little guy is a pretty good sleeper overall! It could be that he is just getting a little older and might need a little less sleep now. For a while my 16 month old seemed to get a total of 13 hours per day (including nap)- it was barely 11 hours per night for a while. However, he seems to be getting a little more now... maybe a growth spurt. It could be that your son is going through a new developmental stage, or is not growing that quickly right now... or teething... they are constantly going through new stages. Maybe try starting his bedtime routine a little later and making sure he gets plenty of physical activity in the late afternoon to tire him out. Don't do anything drastic, and be consistant. And, don't be afraid to let him cry a little... I had to do that on occasion when my kids were going through new stages to keep them on track. (They are just fine, well ajusted, happy kids who overall, are good sleepers!!) Good Luck.
I am having the same problem with my 16 month old. We're in the process of a long distance move and she's very confused so this isn't helping, but she's had trouble sleeping since she was born. She doesn't respond to cry-it-out AT ALL, even in increments (she doesn't really cry, is part of the problem) but we have certainly tried - it worked with our son but she doesn't get upset and when she does, she doesn't seem to be able to soothe herself! I'm going to try the essential oil idea below, too. But maybe try an earlier bedtime, or maybe your son still needs a second nap once in a while to balance the sleep load. We have to do a 2nd nap once a week or so, and that helps her stay balanced much better. She'll play in her crib for hours after we put her to bed, and my mom is convinced she has restless leg syndrome (kicking all night long). But if we put her to bed at 8pm, she plays until 11. So it's still better to get her to bed earlier. Have you read the Weissbluth book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? I have found that to be tremendously helpful in understanding sleep in children (and myself).
It sounds like you have a good routine but maybe you just need to add a little time to it. Maybe he's just not ready for bed and needs a little more time to wind down? I sometimes have the same problem with my 14 month old, who seems to have a very similar schedule to your son. I'm not usually a big fan of using TV but if she seems to need a little extra time to relax, I sit on the couch with her and watch Sesame Street (sometimes she has a snack). Then we follow with the usual routine of reading a few books, cuddling for a minute, then turning on a classical music cd. Sometimes I stay and rub her back for a few minutes too.
Listening to music or books/stories on tape or CD?
