My daughter has been sleeping in our bed since she was 6 months old. Now we would like our bed back. My boyfriend works at night and when he comes home at 4AM, he sleeps on the floor b/c he says its uncomfortable with all 3 of us in the bed. (You could see how this is an issue for me) She has her own toddler bed in her own room and she naps in it during the day, just fine. But at night, break out the boxing gloves b/c she wants me with her at all times. She will stay in the bed (on a good night) if I'm right there. But if I leave, she screams. On a bad night, she screams at the top of her lungs, regardless of if I'm there or not. I've tried the cry it out method, but my child has nerves of steel, and lungs to match. She will scream for about 3 hours straight. 4 hours is her record. This is not an exaggeration! After all is said and done, the night ends one of two ways: Either I give in around 2 or 3 AM and put her in my bed, then I sleep the rest of the night. Or, she passes out in her own bed from sheer exhaustion, and I spend the rest of the night running between bedrooms when she wakes up. Either way, I can't spend 3 hours putting her to bed every night. Since her dad is at work, I don't have help with this at all. Please help! I need more than 4 hours of broken up sleep!
PS.
We do have a routine that we're using. And it does help her fall asleep faster for the most part. But the problem is that when she wakes up, she won't go back to bed. Thats when the 3 hours of screaming comes in. That is, if she doesn't initially scream when I first put her in the bed.
Hi R. - We had a similiar issue and have been using a natural product that has allowed all of us to get better rest now that my daughter sleeps all night. Several of my friends did the same thing and got the same results. Message me if you'd like the details.
C.
Hello R.,
Unfortunately, your first line of your message says it all!
"My daughter has been sleeping in our bed since she was 6 months old. Now we would like our bed back."
You cannot successfully break that kind of a habit in one night or sometimes even a week. This is a situation that you created and so unless you want to suffer for up to 2 weeks + to get her to sleep through the night in her bed, there really is nothing short of anything you can do, except let her cry it out. Each day/night it will get easier, but if you want to sleep in your own bed, this is what you have to do. The book that helped me was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", you might want to try that and see if that could give you any pointers. It really helped me but then I was exhausted all the time when he was just first born! I don't do well without sleep, so we had to do something.
I know a nightly routine of the same thing alwaysh helps too. My son will be turning 4 in June and we do the exact same thing we have done since he was about 3 months old (when he finally slept through the night) and have kept that schedule no matter what or where we are! He sleeps 10 to 12 hours every night and hates getting in our bed! We never allowed it and so he doesn't like it and wants to get back in his bed! When he has bad dreams he gets in,but afterwards, he wants back in his bed. Kid's like routine and that is what worked w/us.
Good Luck, but habits are like weight, easy to form, but much, much harder to break!(lose)
G. B.
Raquel, take Abbi R's advice. It is sound. Stay calm, come from a place of love and patience each time you go in. Hold your ground and do not give in even if she goes to the 10th hour. The reason she can cry for so long is b/c in the end, she always wins and it pays off. Let her know you mean business and hold firm from now on. Eventually she will believe you. Do not get angry. When you are ready, announce to her that from now on, she will be sleeping in her bed by herself. Tell her that you love her and this is the reason you are doing this. Repeat this everytime you go in if necessary. Believe me, both of you need to hear that over and over again. Tell her that you want her to grow up to be a strong, independent girl who can go to sleep on her own and so it is the most loving thing you can do for her. Take heart, buy some ear plugs and dig your heels in. You must get a handle on this. Good luck!
I think you're going to have some tears and tantrums, and their not going to go away in a night or two. If you decide you definately want her in her own room I recommend letting her cry for 30 minutes then checking on her, BRIEFLY, and not allowing her out of bed when you check on her - just soothe, tell her you'll be back in 15 minutes, then leave. Repeat every 15 to 20 minutes. It may take a couple weeks (or more) but eventually she'll adjust and you won't have to go in all night. The key is consistency, the first time you give in and let her in your bed you're all the way back to square one.
Or - you could move her toddler bed to your room. That way she's still with you, but not in the bed. If she tries to get in your bed tell her if she can't stay in her bed then she and the bed will have to go back to her room.
Good luck!!
