14 Year Old Son Invited to a Tame Bachelor Party

Yeah, I don't think a 14 year old should go to a bachelor party, no matter how tame, especially when drinking to excess is planned. Just my opinion.

No.
14 yr olds are too young.
18 would be the minimum age (and 18 yr olds should not be drinking alcohol).

My 16 year old sister came to my bachelorette party. We went horse back riding, then met up with the guys (Husband's bachelor party was the same day. They went to a gun range and shot automatic weapons while we went horse back riding) for dinner, then we went to a bowling alley and played some laser tag. Some people had a beer once we got to the bowling alley, but no one got drunk. Totally appropriate.

But we planned it that way because we knew in advance that my sister was coming.

Politely decline on his behalf. That's what I would do. I HAVE a 14 yr old. There's no way he would be going along on anything like that. If it were ONLY family members, maybe... but with ANY, even ONE, "friend" along.... then no way.
You have no idea what that one friend might have in store as a surprise, and I am sure that some of the racier teasing or whatnot would not be appropriate for a 14 yr old to be hearing about his future AUNT. Remember... that is who the bride will be. Your son's AUNT.
Puts things in a little different light, doesn't it?

Absolutely not. Even old guys can get out of control at bachelor parties! I too and surprised they would even want a kid this age tagging along. Even if the party is relatively tame, I would expect there will be adult level talk and a good bit of drinking. Guys almost always *say* the party will be tame, but it does not always turn out that way. Just dont think its appropriate for a 14 year old. Bachelor parties are adult parties.

Well, my husband's bachelor party was just a group of guys going to play lazer tag at a family place with no drinking, so in that case it would be cool. So, it depends on tameness and if it is more like a family celebratory outing or not. Are any other teens invited?

Your husband is right - your son shouldn't be in that group. Men talk sex when they are at a bachelor party, especially when the alcohol is flowing. Your son doesn't need to be listening to that.

I would never let my son go to one.

Dawn

I don't see anything wrong with allowing him to go. I think it was sweet of the BIL to invite him. And honestly it doesn't matter *if* some of the other guest don't want a young kid there, it's not their party. Besides if it's a tame party anyway I doubt that they would really care. I have a coworker who did a hiking "bachelor party" and from what I heard it was really just a guy's day out together, very tame.

I would not let him go. It will end up as, you know, a bachelor party. Your son does not need to be involved in that.

At 14, I don't think so and especially where men are going to be drinking on a boat or even around the water. Way too dangerous! Maybe at 16 or 17, but not 14.

My nephew could handle this.. Of course we live in Texas where we serve ((((shocking!!!))) beer, wine and margaritas at kids birthday parties. No one bats an eye..
Our kids are used to seeing adults drink responsibly..

If my dad was going to be there, he does not drink so I know nephew would be fine.. If his dad was going, he would make sure nephew was not exposed to bad shenanigans.

I think each family is different. Your husband must not trust his side of the family... Maybe it would be different with your family?

i think it is pretty cool, they wanted him to join.. Says a lot of good things about your son if you ask me.

Depends 100% on the activity and the relationship to the groom. If I could trust that it would be completely tame (and my husband was going to be there) I would probably be ok with it.

I dont think it would have been out of line to let your son go since you knew it was a benign event.
If you knew it had the potential to get a little "crazy" you wouldnt let your kid go.
Again, it's a personal "family" thing really. Some people are more liberal about such things and some are more conservative.
There really isnt ONE answer to this question.

Its not for a 14yr old boy. Nope would not happen on my watch. He may mean well but really was not thinking. Your husband is correct on this one.

I think it was sweet of BIL to invite your son, but I don't think I would let my son go (I also have a 14yo son). Even if they weren't planning to drink too much, with a limo where no one has to drive, it would be easy for the drinking to get out of hand, and I wouldn't want my son around for that. I still think the invite was nice, and probably made your son feel good to be included.

14? No, not unless it could be guaranteed that there'd be no drinking and the like. That is rare for those type of events.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

The last two bachelor parties my hubby went to were a video gaming extravaganza, and Dave and Busters which is an arcade. None of the guys are drinkers, so it might be a yes in this case - BUT adults are pretty boring to teen agers sometimes, and I don't know if adults would really want a kid around. It probably wouldnt work even in a totally innocent situation because of the age.

Depends......only you know the temperture of the men involved. Are they calm together or are they party animals? Would YOU feel comfortable letting your son go. Since your hubby is estranged from them, I don't really see the reason why there was an invite to a 14 year old. Also, for as calm as it may be themed, there's always one knucklehead, usually a friend of the groom, to have girls there or want to go to a strip club and then your son would be all caught up in that last minute plan of someone who didn't know there was going to be a 14year old in the house....you know what I mean. I personally think it was inappropriate of your BIL. It just doesn't make sense, especially if he doesn't speak to his brother. So he'll invite his 14 year old nephew???????????

I would say yes as long as the men were not getting drunk. I wouldn't mind if they had a few drinks but I wouldn't want my son to be around a bunch of drunks.

Depends on the men at the party. My husband and his friends...your 14 year old would be safe and sound. Maybe a little overly tired form marathon video/computer gaming, but fine. Sure, there might even be alcohol, drunk gaming can be entertaining to watch, but none of the guys would be going anywhere if they were drinking and they would definitely make sure a 14 year old got no where close to the booze. More then likely there would be Mt. Dew in ready supply over adult drink.

I'm not sure about the men in your family. If you knew it would be an actual fishing trip and no shenanigans, even with beer in the cooler, I say let him go.

I see nothing wrong with it. It was a polite question where you could say yes or no. I actually find it to be very considerate of the BIL.

I wouldn't have a problem with it, not in the context you are talking about, it seems to be more a guys day out, then a full fledged bachelor party.

I did let my son go to one at 17. I knew there would be a stripper, it was for my almost 19 year old nephew who was getting married, and while I wasn't ecstatic dad said to let him go . It did get out of control...way out of control, and he ended up being the designated driver. He's also the only one who really knows what happened that night lol. Would I do that again, probably not.

To me, it would just promote or encourage underage drinking. Also, I am sure talk of sex will occur and this is something you do not want to encourage either. Not at all age appropriate for him!

Oh god no. All of these so called "tame" bachelor parties are usually not as tame as you'd like to think. Fishing, my arse!!

No, I would not let him go.
He is too young.

It was polite of him to invite your son as a "guy" (I guess) but no. Not appropriate. Not something to get mad at, but not something I would let my teenager do. He's got an entire adulthood of friends getting married for that. You're right, lots of the other men would have more fun with no teenagers there.

a party where there is a possibility of drunk obnoxious people around, yes, it would bother me, not the invite itself, but letting my child go.
fishing? sure, i will even pack his lunch :)