14-Year-old's Terrible Table Manners!

I read about this idea in a magazine and it might be worth a try??? Make a game of it. Something like "Who is the Piggie". There would need to be some type of reward at the end of the meal, or maybe the piggie does the dishes/ clears the table? Basically, if you see someone doing something (chewing with mouth open), you would say "Joe is the Piggie for chewing with his mouth open". Joe then needs to find someone who is doing something to "pass the Piggie". Like, "Mom is the piggie for elbows on the table". You could actually use a piggie to be passed or just pass the name. Just an idea. Good luck!

Don't "MAKE" him chew with his mouth closed at this age... he's old enough that he knows whats right and wrong now.

BUT YES until the day you die you should mother him!! Even if he is 40-yrs-old and comes to your house with his 15 children and wife for dinner... if he chews with his mouth open, REMIND HIM "chew with your mouth closed! that's gross!!" whether he listens or not

L.,
I'm sorry, but while reading your request, I had to laugh. I too have this problem with my 14 yr old son. He also has braces, but even before he got them, had the same problem. It's funny too, because my sister has really bad table manners and when she eats w/my family my 14 yr old will be the first to say something. So at least I know he knows it's a problem...I just pick my battles, and usually have to let this one go. At least he does help you clean the table and thanks you, for now I'd say appreciate those little things. Good luck.

I had braces and I chewed with my mouth shut. This is one of my biggest pet peeves... I actually have friends I refuse to eat with because they eat so disgustingly. Tell him to take smaller bites of his food... if he resfuses... then treat him like a small child and cut his food up for him! The embarrassment alone might be enough for him to work on it. One time I ate so grossly that my mom put my plate on the floor next to the cat's bowls and said that if I was going to eat like an animal I could eat with him. You could also try eating like he does to see if he notices how nasty it can be. Good luck! I hope you can get your son to eat more politely! :)

I hate to say this, but it's NORMAL!!! My son has been like this since he was twelve. He is thirteen now and is doing a little better. Fortunately, we had to go to a class for his school regarding our children at this age & that helped me to understand this stage better. when his habits are tooo out of control I shoot him a look and he knows to control it a little better. I also talked to his friends parents to make sure he was not eating like that at other people's house (he said he didn't) & they assured me he was very polite & ate mannerly. I decided as long as he didn't eat like a neandrethal elsewhere, I would lay off at home & it has worked for the most part. Braces can make things difficult to eat and chew.

Braces do cause a problem. I have the same bad habit. My daughter is always telling me to chew with my mouth closed! In my opinion, pick on something else. Other people that care about him in life will tell him to knock it off! Hey, he takes his dishes to the sink and thanks you for dinner? Sounds like he's a winner !!

I will start by saying that I don't have a 14 year old. Chewing with his mouth open could actually be a result of his braces. When I had braces, everything I ate stuck to or in them. It actually made it that depending on what we were eating, I didn't want to bother. I found that smaller bites of food made it easier to eat, especially with bread and sandwiches. Bread is one of the worst things to eat when you have braces, not because you can't eat it but because it sticks so badly to the braces. How long has he had braces, part of it could be that he is still getting used to them? Did he do this before he got braces?
Chewing with his mouth open could be also be a sign that he has a stuffed up nose. When you can't breath threw your nose for whatever reason, your only other option is to breath threw your mouth. This also makes it difficult to eat with a stuffed up nose.
Just take it easy and be patient, things will work out. Try talking to him about why he is doing this. When he tells you, work with him on his reasons, there should be some validity to them. Ask him what you can do to help him chew with him mouth closed because it bothers you and will eventually bother others that are eating with you.

Overall it sounds like your son has good manners.....much better than a lot of kids.

I don't remember my braces causing a lot of problems with eating - but if you can think back to before his braces and it wasn't a problems---then I would be inclined to think that something with the braces IS a problem with his eating.

Maybe rather than you being the 'nagging' mom -- perhaps you could speak to the orthodontist or one of his assistants. Presented as "when you have braces you may need to learn how to eat differently" (Which probably means needing to cut food into smaller pieces and that will slow him down) There are foods I am sure he isn't supposed to eat and I bet the dentist could help by including the discussion of how to eat 'neatly' --- In a 'matter of fact' way. (I would also suspect that taking his time to eat slowly, carefully would also help with braces cleaning as he would be able to get more food into his stomach and less into the braces ---Appeal to that too!)

I believe dinner time should be a pleasant, relaxing and social time. So, I would recommend trying as much as you can not to react to his eating during the meal. (If he is having an unpleasant meal he will just rush all the more!)

I also agree with pp that peer pressure will likely affect this.

Dont give up. I had braces and didnt have that problem that I can remember. Since he is of the age to "like girls" maybe tell him that a girl will never be attracted to him if he grosses her out like that! Explain what girls like in boys and what turn offs are. You may see a change.
--S.

Hi L., My name is M. (L.) Wilson and I really feel you on this topic. NO, I will never ever understand ANYBODY who chews with their mouth open OR SMACKS when they are eating. This makes me crazy. In fact, it makes me so crazy that I almost cannot finish my meal. This depends especially on who I am eating with. My son, my life, my earthly savior who is almost 2 makes the biggest messes....of course, he is 2. BUT, I am already trying to teach him table manners. My husband laughs at me. AND by the way, my husband smacks too. After 3 years of being together he, (my Husband JR) is finally doing better, we are close enough now that all I have to do is look at him a certain way while we are eating and he knows. But, sometimes he still does it. If love is "not in bloom", say when I have PMS and have been crabby for a couple days and we are eating and he is smacking and is chewing with his mouth open I do not say anything, but I scream inside. If I remind him of this terrible awful pet peeve of mine when he's a liitle crabby too it doesn't go over well. So to keep the peace, sometimes I just lose my appetite. My whole family does this. Now, I am a little funny about my food I will admit. I have exceptional table manners. Rest assured when my son reaches the age where I know in my heart that he can fully understand I will be nagging him about his table manners. In the mean time, I have gone through hours of reminding myself to be patient while Louie (my son) is in his High Chair throwing food or eating with his hands. So, YOU my dear are not the only one that suffers from this and you are right in telling your son to CHEW WITH HIS MOUTH CLOSED. maybe you could tell him that it is not appealing to girls his age, since he is 14, he's probabbly got his eye on a few cuties at school. I really don't know, but STAY ON HIM. God Bless. MEL

Is he having trouble breathing through his nose? Maybe he can't breath if he closes his mouth to chew. Do you notice mouth breathing other times? Does he snore? Maybe an adenoid problem or allergies making him congested in the nasal passages.

You continue to stay on top of him. I've had braces at 37 & your right that's not an excuse. I also put braces on my then 21 year & 12 year old & they don't do that either. Now scarfing down the food I went through with my 12 year old & I just constantly reminded him to slow down, chew your food, your not a glutton, the food isn't going anywhere & ask him over & over why do you eat like that? Then, I'd tell him "I hope you don't eat like this out in public because that's a bad reflection on me as your Mom & NO girl is ever going to want to date you because of the way you eat! After a few months of hearing that ALL of the time...he got the message. Mom's are supose to nag IF the child isn't doing something right...it's your job! Good luck to you.

7 years later, how's it going? lol

Im 32 and I have a 14 year old and a 12 year old. My 14 year old smacks his lips, and spits out his food, talks with his mouth full, food falls out of his mouth, but otherwise hes a great kid. I dont really care that he does, and all the girls that he dates do that too. I think it would be too late, but let him do it. But, if you really want, start to confiscate his things.