Hello Mama's
My daughter is 13 years old in the eighth grade. This summer she started asking can she see this little boy. At first I asked her where are her girlfriends and why they dont hang out. she said some of them moved away and mostly they just pretty much talk and text on the phone and computer. This boy seems to be the only one around for her to hang out with. I did agree a few times to let him come over and hang out outside in front of my house when me or her dad is at home. I did have "the talk" with her so she does understand what trouble she can get into. MY question is should I continue to let her see him like that because I would rather for her to hang out in a group with her girlfriends and if boys are around that's o.k. too. I just dont want too much one on one time even though I can go outside at anytime to see what they are doing. She does get enough of her brother running out there butting in. LOL!!
Is she wanting to date him???? This doesnt sound like a dating situation. When I was 13 I hung out mostly with boys. And there would be times when it was one on one. We were just friends. Depending on how she views him I wouldnt worry.
I don't see anything wrong with having a boy as a friend. . .even a best friend. Now, if things are getting to the point that they are "boyfirend, girlfriend" definately not the right time for that.
I would also temper her time with her guy pals by setting up some time for her to hang with the girls - a good mix will make her a well rounded person:)
Maybe a class or activity that is girl focused - babysitting safety course, dance lessons, etc.
good luck1
does she participate in any activities? Does she have outlets to make/meet new friends? Sounds like it's time to get her INVOLVED!!!
Please, please don't let her start the boyfriend process soooo early.....
Friends are one thing, but this guy is "new" for her....so that's where it's headed.....
I always related better to boys than girls- there was always too much drama with the girls. Many of my good friends were boys and I never dated any of them. If she is really just friends with him (not trying to be boyfriend-girlfriend) then I think it is okay as long as you are able to supervise. At first my mom hated that most of my friends were boys and tried to force me to hang out with more girls. Then, she saw all the crying, meanness, drama and decided to just let me hang out with the guys. One rule we had was no closed doors EVER! Good luck!
No one on one time.
13 is too young for dating and I'm not sure the boy's parents would be thrilled with it (I wouldn't be).
My son's not allowed to date till he's 16 (and at 12 - so far he's not interested at all).
Hanging out: if you've got too much free time - something always needs to be cleaned out and organized somewhere.
She can clean - her room, her closet, the hall closet, the garage, the basement, the car, the shed, a kitchen cupboard, the pantry, the refrigerator, etc.
I guess it depends on the relationship. I had/have a best friend that is a guy. We grew up across the street from each other, our parents were great friends, so we spent a lot of time together. We hung out a lot and were really good friends. We never dated. If this is a friend like that, no worries. However, if it's a boyfriend she wants to hang out with, I would be more leary.
My best friend growing up was a boy and it was the best friendship ever. He remained my friend into adulthood. We never dated and just liked hanging out. He was a much better friend to me than any girl had ever been.
After reading some of the responses, when did it turn into a bad thing for boys and girls to be friends? I had lot's of guy friends growing up, especially in the teen years and we are still close today. A healthy friendship is a healthy friendship. I understand not wanting one-on-one time, but why can't they hang out under the watchful eye of you and your husband? Keep communication very open and relaxed with your daughter so if her feelings of friendship turn into feelings of romance, you will be the first to know and offer GOOD advice.
I dont understand. Why dont you want her being friends with boys. GIrls can be such drama. Let her be and just talk and if it turns into romance, then stop it. I played with boys and always had more friends that were boys than girls. You truley can be JUST FRIENDS
