13 Month Old Prefers Daddy for eveything....depressed Coping Stragtegies????

THe biggest role model is the same sex parent. Do not be alarmed. In fact you being upset all the time does not sound like you are fun to be around. Cheer up and try to be a fun person to play with.

My youngest granddaughter did that at thirteen months, only she's a mommy's girl. Her daddy (my son) has to be second fiddle (maybe third) but he's sticking around and she's starting to change her mind a bit. One day she'll decide to be daddy's girl instead and then her mama will have to stick around.

Remember that you and your husband are a team. If your child shows a preference for one of you, you're still a team, working together!

Your smart little boy may be trying a power game on Mama, thinking he can get away with it better with you than with Daddy. If this is the case, it seems to be working, doesn't it?

Try not to let this situation get to you - for at least another six months. When friends ask, come up with some sort of good line, like, "My son is such a daddy's boy that when he approves of me, too, I'll be glad to have a brother or sister for him." It doesn't have to be absolutely true - it just needs to be an answer.

If you can't help feeling down, get a checkup first of all to make sure you don't have anything physically wrong. If you need to talk to a counselor about it, go ahead. Meanwhile, TRY to cultivate a sense of humor about the whole thing. I was "Mean Old Mom" for a long time - at various stages of my children's development from toddlers to teenagers. Who said raising children was easy? Sometimes the only thing to do is laugh or cry. I vote for laughing.

Do you and your husband go out together? Let your baby see you having a good time with one another and getting along. He's very young, but it's good to model for him even at that age that Mommy and Daddy like each other.

Aww, your kid loves Dad just as much as you do, be proud of that.
This will change. Babies are funny little people. Your baby doesnt know about love yet so it's not like he doesnt love you. He has just found a comfort zone with dad right now. Your time is coming, dont stress on it nor resent your husband for it. This will take a drastic turn one day and your kid will only want you and then you will feel THAT pressure. Enjoy having a husband that can console your child, many moms dont have that resource at all. Is he a SAHD? He has apparently been the main care giver for a time and it's created this bond. You dont need to be depressed about it. You have a "daddys boy", lots of parent do.

ouch! i am not looking forward to this phase, it must be a heart breaker!
the only thing helpful i can think of is you can let daddy take over some more of the chores, since he gets them with out a fuss anyway. and then you can make it a point to step in for more of the fun things!

also, how many non mommy things do you do each week? doing things that remind you that mommy is not the only thing you are, (you are also wife, friend, women, adventurer, shopper, partier, etc...) might help take the sting out, and put this temporary rejection into a lest painful perspective.

Think of it this way. Your little one is so secure with you that he knows you will be there for him, he knows when you leave you will come back, he has the freedom to show his anger with you b/c you will still love him. These are all good things. Please realize he is not consciously picking daddy over you! He doesn't say hey I like daddy more, it's just he's a daddy's boy at this point in life. Trust me, boys are so dedicated to their mommies when they are older. I know when mine were four they turned into mommy's little protector so look forward to the good phases b/c this one is temporary.

Hello, stop worrying and be happy that your little girl prefers dad. She'll come around. When dad leaves for work, and she starts to cry just take hold of her, give her a big hug and tell her calmly that he'll be returning later. At that time, you should ask her what fun stuff would she like to do with you? Read books with her, sing songs together, go for a walk. You'll see, keep doing things together and she'll look forward to doing things with mom. Enjoy the moments where your daughter prefers dad. I love it when my kids prefer "fun" time with dad it gives me a little bit of peace time. Good luck.

It's hard, but it's just a phase. My daughter went through it, and she went through a phase of not wanting anything to do with daddy, which was breaking my DH's heart. Now she's 4 and goes to whoever.

They say kids are meanest to the person they are the most secure with, ie, he's not as nice to you because he's sure you'll always be there for him.

My almost 5 year old son prefers Dad most of the time. Partly it is that I make him follow the rules more. My 2 year old daughter clings to me instead.

Try to do fun and interesting things with your son and not take it too personally (even though it is hard).

I'm sorry you're hurting so much. It sure can sting when a parent gives SO MUCH for the well-being of a child, and then feels rejected. Children under the age of 2 or three haven't learned yet to empathize yet with other people's feelings. They're just honest about their preferences, and they can't really help what they feel.

I have two suggestions:

First, get out of your own head as much as possible and love your little boy from HIS point of view. He has a daddy with whom he feels secure and safe and happy. That is such a gift, for him and for you. As another mom mentions, too many babies and toddlers don't have such a wonderful connection with their fathers. So see if you can be happy for HIM, if not for yourself. He doesn't yet know what love is. When he learns that, he will feel deep love for you AND his daddy.

My other thought is that there are probably areas where your son actually prefers you to his daddy, but because of your thoughts that this isn't so, you're not noticing them. This could be a direct result of depression, too, which you may have been suffering from for longer than you think. If you are depressed and unhappy, you will not feel as warm and welcoming to your son, who still 'feels' more than he 'thinks,' so he's probably very sensitive to signals you don't know you're sending. If you're uncomfortable or distressed with him, around him, or toward him, then he will feel those things toward you. So, please get some counseling. You need help with these difficult feelings if they are just pulling you in deeper and deeper.

And there are studies showing that children of depressed mothers are more likely to have problems of their own. http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/depression_the_i... . I'm not trying to add to your burden, but please take care of yourself, N., not only for yourself, but for your son.

Please try not to be depressed over this.
Seriously.
I know it's easy to think that we are the ones who get big bellies and heartburn and back aches and go through labor and our little cherubs should just somehow know how much they should appreciate US for all that in return.
The thing is, they are little. They have no clue. Adoring one parent or a grandparent or even an aunie shouldn't make us feel like we are less loved or favored.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I want to tell you something.
I went through a very bitter and horrible divorce when my son wasn't even two years old.
My son "wanted" his father, my son got worked up when it was time for him to go with his dad. My son cried everytime his dad brought him home.
My ex husband even said one day that he was going to try to get custody because it was "obvious" our son loved him more.
My exact words to him were, "Try it. You won't get anywhere. He wants you because you act like you can't live without him. He cries when he leaves you and NEVER cries when he leaves me because I don't cry. You, on the other hand, sob hysterically when you drop him off and get him all upset. Of course he cries when you leave. He doesn't cry for me because I tell him I will be fine and I hope he has a good time and I'll be home waiting and happy when he gets back".
My ex thought making our son cry meant that our son loved him more.
It was ridiculous.

My point is..........
Maybe the things you are looking at as being second best are actually signs your son is more secure with you.
Would you REALLY feel better if your kid cried for you? To make it "even" somehow?
I'm not trying to be mean, but you are worrying too much.
I can't imagine my mom crying and being depressed because I adored my father. I was very much a daddy's girl. I didn't love my dad more. I just loved him differently. He was the affectionate, snuggy, silly one. My mother was the logical, straight forward, steady back bone of the family. Growing up, I was closer to my mother in the long run. But I sure thought my dad walked on water.
Lighten up. Love your little one because he loves you and needs you as his mommy. Be thankful that he has a daddy to adore.
Your son has a right to love two wonderful parents.
You can't hold that against him.

Cheer up. See the beauty of the situation.

Best wishes.