My son is now 13 months old and still not walking. I know that's not completely uncommon, but my main concern is that he isn't mobile in any way. He HATES to be on his stomach, screams until he's nearly sick and refuses to even try to crawl, even to this day. He can stand while holding on to something or someone, but if you try to get him to stand without anything to stabilize himself with, he flips out and immediately falls. If you try to get him to walk while holding on to your fingers, he refuses to even move his feet. If you move his hands forward, he just ends up leaning forward until he would fall if you weren't holding on. He has progressed in the past month, where a month ago, he wouldn't stand while holding on to toys by himself. He used to shake everywhere and scream in fear when you would do this. It seems like he's scared. I know that I made a mistake in holding him so much, but at the time, I felt I had to since I also have a 3 year old and have had to chase her around. His pediatrician doesn't seem too concerned about it right now because he did have about 3 months where his physical growth had halted, but he's otherwise developed at a normal rate. The ped said if he's not starting to cruise by 15 months, we'll start talking about possible physical therapy. I guess what I'm looking for is words of wisdom and encouragement from moms who have been in the same situation, and advise on how to help him overcome this fear. Please no negative comments...
Hi K., I would say just continue doing what you are doing. I would suggest if you aren't already doing it to sit on the floor with him and just let him stand and play on you. Put on some fun play music and let the music help move his body.
Good luck and keep up the good work
First off, it's not your fault because you held him. I practiced baby wearing with my youngest and it hasn't hindered her in any way.
Some kids don't crawl. It's not a necessary developmental milestone. There are lots and lots of kids that walk first. It's not abnormal for kids to need something to hold onto to balance themselves at 13 months. His development doesn't seem to be that off, it's more his reaction to the new situation perhaps. I'm not a doctor, so I can't really speak to that.
Have you tried to "walk" his feet for him? Have someone hold his hands and you move his feet for him. When he "takes a step" (with your help) make a BIG deal out of it. Clap, sing, dance, whatever. He WANTS to make you happy. Kids LOVE positive reinforcement. Hopefully after showing him what to do and showing him how happy it makes you, he'll start to do it on his own (or at least while you're holding his hands.) In the meantime, you can see if there are any Early Intervention programs in your area. Most places have them and they are state funded. They'll come out to your house and assess your son to see if he has any delays. Many times they provide the services for free. I've found that these people are much more skilled at diagnosing developmental delays EARLY than pediatricians are.
Just relax. I know it's hard when u see other kids the same age doing more. My daughter, now 4 didn't crawl until 2 weeks before her first birthday. She didn't walk unassisted until about 16 months. Don't rush him. He'll figure it out when he's ready. If he freaks when he falls, don't be so quick to rush to his aid. As long as you know he isn't physically hurt, it's good for him to struggle a little. I know it's hard to watch. Try letting him be frustrated for one minute the first time then two the next and so on. If u r not opposed to it try getting him a chitopractic adjustment. It's great for kids and very gentle.
Hi K.! Oh, I know how worrisome it is when your kids don't hit each milestone as quickly as it seems others do. My daughter didn't walk until 15 months, and my cousin not until 18 months. My cousin never crawled..she would just scooch on her bottom. She is now in her early 20's, in great shape, highly academic, etc, etc. My point is, don't worry! Keep an eye on him, of course, but just wait a bit. It sounds like your pediatrician is not too concerned yet..so take that as a great sign. I have a 10 month old, and he was diagnosed with failure to thrive (just means he is small), and torticullis (his head was tilted to one side). I went for months of emotionally exhaustive testing and treatments...and come to find out he is just small...nothing wrong with him. On my first visit to the PT for the torticullis the therapist (whom I never met with again...used a different therapist), coldly told me upon looking at him that he was developmentally delayed. This was/is not true....he is a major mover...doing great. She just made a judgment on a quick meeting. People will throw around all kinds of advice or judgments, but for now I would say just sit back and enjoy your baby. And worst case, if he does need therapy, our experience with our new PT was great, and rather quickly we got his neck up straight! Good luck!
A. :)
Get a referral from the International Chiropractic Pediatric Assn- and get him checked out-my goddaughter had a mis alignment, and as soon as if was adjusted- she walked well.
best,k
I would just like to say that you did not make a mistake holding him so much! All babies develop differently and if he needed/ needs extra time then there is very little you can do to change that. A baby who is ready to be mobile is not easily contained- even in mama's arms. Be patient with him and continue to be loving and reassuring. You did the right thing!
Updated
I would just like to say that you did not make a mistake holding him so much! All babies develop differently and if he needed/ needs extra time then there is very little you can do to change that. A baby who is ready to be mobile is not easily contained- even in mama's arms. Be patient with him and continue to be loving and reassuring. You did the right thing!
lol I don't think you really need to worry! My boys (now 4y.o. and 2 1/2y.o., and now I have a 6m.o. I'm working with) HATED "tummy time"! They would scream like you were killing them if you tried to put them on their tummy. They never did the rolling from back to tummy, only tummy to back! lol They didn't crawl until they were like 10m.o. or so. And the didn't walk until they were 14 months and 16 months! They run around like crazy now....in fact..they're having "races" in the living room as I type this! lol My 6m.o. on the other hand, loves tummy time! He's always turning from back to tummy and back again. He's even trying to "scoot" now! :D Just goes to show you how different kids can be!
So yeah, I wouldn't worry about it...at least not yet. My kids bio-dad didn't walking at all (not even holding on to things) until he was 2! If doc says he's okay, then he should be fine. If he stops making progress though, then I think you should see someone. Hope this helps and good luck! :D
PS - One way some friends of mine got there kids to "move" (crawl, walk, scoot) is they got an R/C car that the kids liked and set it in front of them. As soon as they got close enough to touch it, they would drive it a little farther away! lol I know, seems mean, but it worked!
As I agree with what most of the others said, I wanted to add something.
My son HATED Tummy time and did not crawl...You thought you were hurting him and he seemed so scared....We had no clue what to think. He did start walking at about 15 months....but I was always still worried about the reactions he would have.
A few years later we discovered he has something called Sensory Integration Disorder or Sensory Processing Disorder...the reactions he had as a baby were actually because his sensory system was out of whack. If we had known back then, and started OT, we wouldn't of had some of the issues we did as he got older.
Now--on that note, Early Intervention WILL not help you here. they are attached to the school system, and will only help if they feel there is an educational need. This is something they do not tell you. And yes, it is free.
I would check with your health insurance about having an Occupational Therapist evaluate him, or pay out of pocket for an eval. This will tell you in a much better way if it's something along these lines, or something that they can help with.
I say all this as someone who went to everyone under the sun to help my child....If you have questions, feel free to email me.
Your child sounds like mine, and we figured out what it was and he has been getting help. He is now 6 years old and a great kid, who still needs OT off and on due to not figuring it out till he was 4 years old.
My son was slow to crawl, pull himself up and walk. He started to walk at 15 months and was running within a few days! Now I wish he would slow down. You will probably feel that way in a few months too.
My son walked at 10.5 months and crawled at 7.5 months. But some ideas, is he around other kids? (my son was in daycare so he saw first hand how to do it). Do you have an excersaucer or jumper? If not, try a second hand kids store they are about $35 for the ones in the store that are over $100. That will strengthen his legs and let him move some. We never held my sons hands to walk, he did it with his Piano walking toy. Not sure if they did at daycare or not, but we did not at home. Is he happy sitting on the floor playing with toys? If so, maybe put one of is fav's just far enough away that he wants to try and get to it. That is how my dad got my son to crawl. ( but he was slightly evil, as he would pull it away as he got to it to keep him going:) ). Every kid has different milestones, so don't worry. But I think there are state agency's that can come in and eventuate and that is not a bad idea.
Hi there, my son did not walk until 15 months. Now I can't get him to slow done. lol. Just keep doing what you are doing. I'm sure he will be fine. I would try maybe putting some music on that might help.
I work with babies like this and you need to get him into occupational therapy without a second's delay! He needs work on his vestibular system which is his sense of balance. He is delayed for his age because he needs to crawl for 4-6 months. He should not walk before he completes crawling or you risk learning challenges. Please e-mail me if you need specific questions addressed. I suspect Sensory Integration issues as well. Please follow through no matter what your doctor says or thinks!!
I am a Physical Therapist for kids. i recommend you get him evaluated for
Pt and Ot ( he may have a sensory issue that is causing this. I would not wait - the evaluation process if you go through the state (which is free if he qualifies) is long. I do not mean to scare you - I am sure he will walk one day - I think he needs some help and you need some guidance with this. Doctors (some) often are slow send a baby for this help unless they have obvious physical issues.
Don't blame yourself!!! There's no way it's your "fault" for holding him too much. Just follow your pediatrician's advice, and if he needs PT in a few months, so be it. But I am absolutely certain it was not caused by you!!!!
