Okay this is going to be very long. First thing I breastfeed. Since my son was born he has been a HORRIBLE sleeper. He refused to go to sleep anywhere besides nursing to sleep. As soon as i laid him down he screamed. So i would nurse and hold him up until he was 6 months. Its the only way he or me got any sleep. I also co-sleeped. At night i always had a routine with him. Then finally at 7 months i was able to nurse him to sleep then lay him down and he would sleep 1-2 1/2 hours. Then at 8 months i was able to nurse him, the rock him until he was drowsy and put him in his crib and i could pat his back to sleep. Every time he would awake at night i would pat his back and he would go back to sleep. His crib is next to my bed. Then he started teething and everything got messed up. I ended up nursing him back to sleep and co sleeping again. Now at 12 months he is fighting naps and bedtime. It takes me over an hour to get him to sleep. I have tried rocking him, laying him in his crib awake and patting his back. everything. nothing is working. Last night i layed him in his crib and he cried for 20 minutes with me beside his crib. and fell asleep. he woke at 11 then 2 then 5. at 5 he refused to go back to sleep. he cried and played in his crib til 7:30. now he has been in his crib since 10 am for his nap and its now 11:30 and he has just been playing in his crib. I know he is over tired but he refuses to lay down. I ve tried the cry it out with me beside his crib and in another room and he will cry forever!!! please help me. i got 4 hours of sleep last night and have been just exhausted for the past year. he is losing interest in nursing so i am trying to wean. he hasnt nursed during the day in a few days and i am trying to stop nursing in the night time. when i do nurse him to sleep in my bed at night he never falls asleep all the way. so he is waking me up every 15 minutes to nurse. I really dont know what to do anymore. He might be add. his father is and i have always had sleep problems since i was little. it takes me 2 hours to fall asleep cause my mind is always racing. what should i do? i need him to sleep in his crib by putting himself to sleep and it not take 2 hours every day and night...
I really like the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It helped me a lot getting my twins to nap and sleep.
It sounds like he is completely exhausted. It's not necessarily your fault - you've been doing what you could to get him to sleep so you could also get sleep, but you've ended up training him to need you to sleep. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth is a wonderful resource. He even includes brief chapter summaries for desperate parents so they don't have to read a long time to get help. A baby is able to sleep 6 hours without feeding at 4 months, and up to 12 hours at 6 months. We used the "rapid extinction" method with both our boys, and it even worked with our colicky younger son. It did mean about a week of horrible screaming, but our 2-year-old learned to sleep through the crying, and we managed to not give in. They are each able to fall asleep on their own and to sleep for 8-12 hours straight. They are both delightful, curious, and playful when they are awake.
Weissbluth will explain how to put your child on a schedule and how to recognize when your child is sleepy. Believe it or not, the more sleep your son gets, the better he will sleep and the easier his mood will become. It's far to early to tell if your son has ADD - it is very likely that he's just exhausted and is doing what he can to keep awake because he doesn't know how to soothe himself to sleep (because he's been depending on you). The good news is, he'll learn pretty quickly if you give him the opportunity. It will be difficult for a brief while, but then you and he will appreciate it in the long run. During the week that he resists this change in the status quo, you can put ear plugs in and try to sleep yourself, or you can work on a hobby of yours. I did a lot of needlework and watched classic movies while our sons learned to sleep on their own.
Looking ahead - "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" by John Rosemond is a great book for dealing with the challenges of a growing toddler. The Twos start around 18 months, so it's good to be prepared. :) Good luck! I hope you get more sleep soon!
I am a SAHM of 4 and this has worked well with all four of mine: End the night with your bedtime routine. Lay him down in his crib sleepy but NOT asleep. Leave the room. If he cries go back in five minutes. Reassure him with a pat on the back, sweet words, etc. but DO NOT pick him up. Leave the room again. If he cries go back after 10 minutes this time. Follow the same procedure adding 5 minutes to your time out of the room each time. I think the longest any of mine ever cried was when I got to 25 minutes out of the room then they fell asleep. Hang in there mama! You can do it.
i had similar problems with my first son. we had a nightly ritual of he would lay down on the couch beside me and i would make him stay there until he fell asleep. then i would very carefully and quietly, praying the entire time, pick him up and put him in his bed to sleep. then about 2-3 hours later he would get out of bed and come lay down on the couch or my bed again until he fell asleep and i would once agin go put him back in bed. this lasted until he was 20 months old and my second son was 1 month old. then i got fed up with it. i finally put my foot down and made him just cry it out in his bed till he fell asleep. if he got up i quietly walked him back to bed. when he was crying i would go in and soothe him without actually saying anything every 10 minutes or so. it took about 1 hour the first couple nights but it gradually got quicker and easier. after about 2 weeks i could put him in his bed at bedtime, tell him to go to sleep and leave him there and he wouldnt get back up. i know it is rough and heartbreaking to do the "cry it out" thing but in the end it is worth it. you dont want your baby to be 5 and still trying to sleep with you and geting up a half dozen times at night. good luck and hang in there it will get better.
I would switch him to formula. If he is always wanting
to nurse or not satisfied, he may not be getting enough
milk. My daughter took fenugreek which gave her more milk.
But I believe he is ready for real milk or formula.
Oh Honey. I just want to wrap my arms around you. i have been there, five times, and the first time, I was exactly your age....
Some babies really are just cranky. Is there any cahnce you have hypothyroidism, or does it run in your family?
Babies with congenital Hypothyroidism are very fussy babies.
There could be other problems, too. Chronic colic, other digestive troubles...
But, that could just be his personality...which, I know, is the last thing you want to hear : )
Would you be willing to private message with me? I have some ideas on helping him (and YOU!) sleep. Send me a message if so.
So sorry you're having to deal with this sweetie. I can tell you are really trying.
--H.
Are you sure that there is not a medical reason for him to have trouble sleeping? Does he have ear trouble or reflux? There is also the possiblity there is something in your diet or at 12 months of age his diet that is keeping him up (milk is always a good first guess). What does you pediatrician say? I have had two kids that neither one of them slept through the night until after they were three. Once I got their ear troubles and allergies under control they slept a lot better, but neither slept real good until I moved them to a big bed. My theory on this is that the crib mattess was not comfortable. Good luck.
I think the first thing you should do is move the crib out of your room. My second daughter wouldn't sleep well in our room. Everytime anyone rolled over she would wake up. I also tried everything like you have with my first to get her to sleep on her own and and to just let her cry it out. The first night was hard. She cried a lot that night. But the second night she cried for 20 minutes and then slept through the night! (Or I was in such a deep sleep from being sleep deprived I didn't hear her fuss) The third night it was 10 minutes, and then the fourth night she didn't cry at all. Some people don't like the method, but it is the only thing that worked for me. If I was in the room patting the back it made it 10 times worse that just shutting the door and leaving. I also gave my girls sippy cups with water in them. That way they could use that to sooth instead of nursing, I didn't have to worry about their teeth rotting since it was just water. Good luck!
There's a fantastic book called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", by Weissbluth. It has helped me so many times. Check it out at the library or bookstore and I think it will help you too. It gives you several options to help fix sleep problems, which I liked. You might also want to talk to the pediatrician about it, especially since you have sleep problems. Good luck!
