10 Month Old - Sleep Drama

Hylands Teething Tablets....in Walmart, they are found in the pharmacy...in Kroger, they are found in the "organic" section.

Margaret :)

First of all, you are really doing a great job and trying to do what is best for your child. So, way to go!

Second, it sounds to me like she is over-tired. Most kids settle best between 7 and 8pm. When you miss this window, they get wound up, have a harder time going down, and generally don't sleep as long. As another poster mentioned, your work schedule may require this later bedtime, but if not, try an earlier bed time.

Third, I am not a fan of the cry-it-out method, however, I do believe in the Ferber method - it worked for my daughter. You do your normal bedtime routine and put her down. When she starts crying, you wait five minutes and then go in and comfort her for 2-3 minutes. Don't pick her up during this time, just lay her back down (if she is standing or sitting up) and pat her back and tell her you love her. You can sing to her too, but don't stay in the room for more than a few minutes. Repeat this routine until she goes to sleep. After a few nights, you extend the amount of time you wait to ten minutes and then eventually fifteen minutes. The key is to give her quiet assurances that you are still there and love her without picking her up. With my daughter, we never got to the 15 minutes stretches because she figured it out after we moved to the 10 minute stretches. The week or two that you have to do this will seem like it lasts forever, but in the end it will be worth it. If she wakes up during the night after you have gone to bed, follow the same protocol and don't put her in your bed.

Good luck!

Hi B.,

It is so hard dealing with a baby who is having a change in her routine. My daughter was exactly the same way. I felt that every time we would arrive at a good point something would change and we were back to starting point 1. I will say that since my daughter was 4 weeks old she has slept with us, and I really do feel it has worked for us well. Others may disagree and that is fine. Each family does what works for them, and everyone has different philosophies regarding sleep. What I will tell you is that throughout the first 1.5-2 years of their life, their sleep will be inconsistent due to teething, illness, major milestones (i.e. walking, talking, crawling, etc.) and also a newfound awareness of their surroundings.

I have found that for us the nightwaking around 9 months seemed to cease around 12 months. In our case we just decided to roll with it, and accept the fact that we weren't going to be sleeping for a while. This may not work for you, but my advice would be to listen to your mama instincts and trust your judgement. I think you're doing a great job by reaching out and getting as much information as possible before making your decision. Trust yourself, your baby, and best of luck!

Hi B.
sounds like she could be going thru a couple of things- she could be a little hungry- try some cereal with her last feeding- and she could be teething- which would explain the uneasiness. Just be sure she is comfortable in her crib- nothing is irritating her and she has all her favorite toys to sleep with- little ones go thru phases like this and it will pass
If you have not started her on foods I would suggest that this could be the issue.
good luck and blessings

I was never very good with the sleep thing. There was no way I was going to let my son cry it out either. I let it go on for 2 1/2 hours one night and I swore I'd never do it again. I felt like I was totally betraying him.

But - my friends swear by the No Cry Sleep Solution book. You have to be very committed to it. I always gave in and it didn't work for us. I think if we have another child I will be able to be stronger and follow through, but I certainly wasn't for this one! I would do something about it now though. My son is 3 1/2 and just started sleeping through the night!

Best of luck to you! I know how hard it can be but it does get better.

B., it sounds like your child is sleep deprived! Kids her age should be getting about 12 a night and then 2 naps during the day. Try putting her to bed earlier. My son is 8 months, he goes to bed between 7-8 pm and wakes up 6-7 am. I have found that no matter how late I put him to bed, he still wakes up by 7 most mornings. 9 is a VERY late bed time for a child. Also, someone posted on here yesterday that a baby they knew was smothered to death sleeping in their parents' bed. Please reconsider putting your daughter in your bed with you. It is so dangerous! Good luck! Here are a couple of websites that I found helpful:
babycenter.com
pollymoore.com

Does she seem hungry when she wakes up in the middle of the night? If that might be it try feeding her some cereal or anything else that she likes before bed to help keep her full through the night. She may be having a growth spurt and needs the extra food.

Good luck,
K.

Changes in sleep are common and sleep patterns will continue to vary for a long time. However most important I'd breaking the cycle of bringing her to bed with you. I've been there , I know it's hard when all everyone wants is sleep. Letting her cry it out at initial bed time is fine and healthy. She needs to learn to soothe herself. We used the five minute method. Let her cry fir five minutes and then walk in to briefly check in her and give her a little resurance. Two minutes tops and then leave the room. The crying may escalate once you walk out. Then add one or two minutes to each interval. She will eventually go to sleep. If you are ok with waiting the 20-30 minutes at bed time, that's ok too. I just always felt compelled to go in and make sure she was in need if a diaper change . If she wakes in the night wait five minutes or so before going in. If she doesn't stop or the crying escalates, then go do a quick check. No matter what , unless she is hurt, sick or needs a diaper change do not pick her up. Do a quick check tell her u live her and that she is safe. Then start the 5 minute wait routine again. Try increasing the initial wait to
E each night a minute or two. She may also be teething. Finding remedies to ease her discomfort will help. It could also be gas. Sometimes the two to together . Gripe water and a little baby ibprofen work wonders. Good luck and be strong. I know how hard it is. Sometimes they are scared of the dark, maybe try a night light. And sometimes they wake in the night from their dreams .

It could be teething, a growth spurt, an ear infection, or a natural sleep regression. Try reading the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley--this isn't likely to be the last hurdle you face regarding sleep.

This is exactly what happens when my daughter has fluid in her ears--no other signs of impending ear infection, just an unwillingness to cooperate at bedtime and frequent night waking. She has tubes now, but they occasionally get clogged and we are right back to the same night problems. Take her into the pediatrician and rule this out. It is the easiest way to cross one thing off the list.

Not all babies respond to crying it out--some babies are just better suited to self-soothing than others. I tried it, but succumbed to sleep deprivation after three days. She still sleeps with me, but it is what works for our schedule.

I do agree that you should try to get her to bed a little earlier. You didn't say what her nap was like, but most children this age still need 12+ hours of sleep in 24.

Consistency is super important. Pick a method and go with it for two weeks without giving in. Decide whether she will be allowed in your bed, and if not, never allow her. If you do it once during the two weeks, you are back at square one. After the two weeks, if you have been consitent, you can evaluate if it is working or not. Good luck!

dear B.
it sounds like your little one is sleep deprived! she's so tired she can't get to sleep. try putting her to bed earlier. our kids (6yrs & 14 mos) both start bed routine at 6:45 pm. i know that sounds way early, but by the time they are both bathed and jammied and read to, it's goddnight BY 8PM, and they both sleep solid till 7-8. little ones need more sleep than we think - 10-12 hrs at night plus naps in the day for babies. I also recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Mark Weissbluth. I keep it by me bedside and whenever we have a "sleep lapse" i just refer to the age group. Pick up a copy and go directly to "action plan for exhausted parents". Then hang in there. we all want what's best for our kids, and you ALL deserve a good night's sleep!
good luck,
K.

Both of my girls went through "sleep drama" when they were about 9 months old where they just wouldn't go to sleep easily in their cribs the way they usually did. There were many nights where the only way to get my youngest to sleep was to lie down on the couch and have her fall asleep on me. You could try putting her down earlier because babies/kids tend to have a harder time winding down if they're over-tired. My youngest is now 2, and if we miss her bedtime, she cries A LOT, but if we get her in bed right around 8:30, she goes down without any drama at all. But really, I would just suggest doing whatever it takes to get her to sleep right now, and rest assured that the phase will pass. It did with both of my girls who are both excellent sleepers (unlike my oldest, a boy, who has ALWAYS been difficult to get to bed--from newborn to age 7!)

What many first time moms don't know is that even when your baby starts sleeping through the night, that can change as she goes through growth spurts and such. This same type of thing started happening with my baby too around 9 months. To be honest different things would work different nights. You can try a few things and see if they work:
- Giving a bottle or nursing, then rocking until she is tired again.
- Let her cry it out - even if she has to do it a few times a night.
- Make her wait in her crib for about 10 min in the morning and see if she falls back to sleep (you'd be surprised how often this one works).
- My hubby has slept in the room next to his crib so he can soothe him at the first stir instead of waiting for him to cry.
I'm not sure if any of these suggestions will work, but I wish you the best of luck. My baby is now 1 and is an amazing sleeper (so it won't last forever). I know it's tiring but hang in there!

Five words: Dr. T Berry Brazelton, Touchpoints(0-3).
Every human being passes through stages of development, and infants' brains acquire new capacitites, such as rolling, sitting, pulling up, language, pincer grasp, crawling, walking, etc. which are stimulating to them, thus sleep pattern changes, feeding changes, etc. You can inform yourself of these touchpoints and what to do during them so the whole family is prepared.

I have had so much sleep drama from my now 22-month-old that I really feel for you. Here are some tips that have helped us. Her sleep is still not perfect, but MUCH better!

First and foremost, take her to the pediatrician to rule out any kind of illness. Also have the doctor check her mouth for any incoming teeth.

Likely, she is cutting teeth. If this is the case, give her a dose of infant Motrin before bed along with some Hyland's teething tablets.

At bedtime, if she cries when you put her down, pat her back and stay in the room until she calms down and falls asleep. When she wakes up, go in her room, change her diaper if she is wet, give her comfort, pat her back and stay until she falls back asleep in her crib. That way she knows you are there, but also that you mean business! Repeat this every time she wakes up. You will not have to do this every night, just for a couple of nights, then every now and again!

For my little one, if she wakes after 5 a.m., I will let her come to bed with us. She has slept all night in her crib, and now it is snuggle time!

Finally, it sounds like you are doing a great job. Try not to stress out over her sleep. It will get better. Enjoy these moments with your little one. They are fleeting and precious. Best of luck!!

My gut feeling is telling me she may be teething. Try a dose of Motrin before bed or Hyland's teething tabs or both. To see if it will help.

Also I second the Ferber method (it is NOT cry-it-out). You have to read the book and follow the methods for your aged child.

I know it can be very confusing what and who to read...what method to follow...which one will traumatize your child for life or cause trust issues.

My son was and still is a horrible sleeper (he is 4 1/2). I will always wonder if it was all my different sleep methods I tried or genetic. But the best method I found that did the most good for us was Ferber...used it with my daughter from birth and she is a great sleeper...method or genetics...who knows.

Big HUGS!!! It is soooooo hard!!

Anne D is totally right! Let her cry it out for at least 2 wks. I promise she will still know you love her, she will survive the nights and all will be much happier/rested in the long run. I've had to do it with all 3 of mine (oldest now 8) and they have turned out just fine. Do all you can to NOT go back in her room (unless of course something is wrong) that just stimulates her again not to mention keeps you up all night. Honestly this 3rd time around I don't even have a baby monitor any more. My 20mth old knows its bedtime now and that I will see her in the morning when its time to get up.

An earlier bedtime will help her be rested as well, should try to be asleep by 9 at the very latest.

Good luck and good rest to you and yours!

I only have one child, but she's never been in our bed and she has a good sleep pattern. I've heard nightmare stories of children in their parents bed even up to 11 or 12.

When you have kids you also have less time with your husband. In my home our bed is a special place for just the two of us & we both like it that way. Also, my girl has always gone to bed by 7pm (advice from my mother in law). Kids need their rest. Plus at 7pm my husband and I have the rest of the night together. We've always made sure that she's gone potty, has her animals, etc., and once we lay her down and say prayers, she's down for the night. We don't let her get up again. Sleep time is sleep time. Kids love and need routines. The younger they start the better.

My way may not be the way you choose to go, but whatever you decide, I hope it works! Good luck!

Please, please don't let you child cry it out!! Recent research has shown that this method can actually cause your child to have trust issues. The developer of this method has even said it does NOT work for every child (just to save-face in my opinion).

I would try putting her to bed a little earlier. Is she teething? Try a little Tylenol or Ibuprofen before bed if she is teething. You may have to change her bedtime routine to include some rocking or snuggling before putting her down. If she cries come back in and comfort her right away so she knows your there and put her back down. Make sure you create a calm environment for her to fall asleep. Children go through stages like this. It will pass. She will not do this forever. Good luck!

J. (Happily married wife and mommy to 4 (ages 3, 6, 9 and 12) with another blessing due in September.

Hi B.,
You didn't mention what type of solid foods you are feeding your baby. She may be waking up earlier because she is hungry. I suggest you read Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. It is a wonderful resource. We have three kids and CIO did not because NO ONE got any sleep. Consider putting her to sleep on her tummy--she will digest better and can roll over by herself anyway. I wish I had done this with my first but learned the hard way. Every baby is individual and what works for one may not work for another. We slept with our first baby because after trying everything, we just decided that we all needed to get our proper rest. Our second and third babies had completely different temperments and did not have sleep issues like our first. At 10 months old, your baby think you and she are still one person. My personal opinion--I think it is cruel to let a baby CIO. Co-sleeping is quite common and works well for many. Good Luck!

OK. Most moms might disagree with what I am about to say but oh well. My son went through a couple of phases where he would wake up crying in the middle of the nite. One of them was around 10 months. Luckily we lived in a house at that time with no neighbors to worry about (but we had to do this again when we lived in an apartment). We just had to let him cry it out. (Give her some extra love before bed and lots of praise and love in the morning) My husband was able to sleep through it but I layed awake every nite listening to him cry. I would suggest investing in a good pair of ear plugs and just do it. I am happy to say that my son is not traumatized at all and he sleeps ALL nite long and goes to bed really easily. Let me say that it will take about a week of nite time crying for her to sleep well but she will get it and you all will be able to sleep better. I'm sorry if some of you moms disagree but this worked and in the future when I have more kids I will do the same.

the wierd thing is the later they go to bed, the worse they sleep - in my experience anyway - my daughter of 13 months goes to bed at 7pm, 10pm is too late (unless work constraints are the problem, then theres not much you can do), but try bringing her bedtime forward by 15 minutes each day until its at the very latest 8pm - she needs more sleep than what she is getting, at her age she should be getting almost 12 hours overnight.
it is a stage and it will pass - i know its hard, personally i dont agree with cry it out methods, i feel if your baby is crying for you there must be a reason, and you should respond to that - i would hate to let my baby cry for hours, then find out they were sick or in pain and just wanted a bit of comfort - i put my baby in the bath after supper, then i give her a bottle in a darkened room - i put a fan on for white noise, i kiss her and put her in her bed and walk out - she usually will not go to sleep at the first try, she will cry, and i let her cry just a couple of minutes, then i go in and hug her lay her down again and walk out, i usually have to do this 4 or 5 times before she will go to sleep - if she keeps crying i take her out, and check she has not pooed or there is something in her pyjamas scratching her, but then i put her straight back to bed.
this is also important especially this time of year BLACK OUT BLINDS ARE THE BEST!!!, sometimes they will wake up naturally to sunlight, so you need to block that out - i used a cheap walmart black fleece blanket hung in the window.
i made the mistake of putting my son in bed with me, he kept coming in my bed until he was 5 years old, so i would nip that one in the bud lol
i dont know if any of my tips will help, but i hope you have relief soon