1 Year Old Not Sleeping

Updated on September 22, 2006
S.T. asks from Milwaukee, WI
10 answers

Hello-My daughter just turned 1 and we are having LOTS of trouble getting her to sleep at night. She has always been a great sleeper. Over the last month I got in the very bad habit of rocking her to sleep now I'm trying to get out of it. I've tried staying in her room with her, I've tried letting her cry for as long as 20 minutes (I can't go longer then that), I've tried complete darkness and a night light. Any thoughts?

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C.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't think when they say to let them cry it out, they mean you have to leave them completely. Usually if you leave and come back after 5 minutes, settle them down, and leave.. and keep repeating this process.. they eventually stop.

I started getting into the habit of rocking my daughter too.. and started to realize she was getting hooked on it. If she won't settle down doing the 5 minute thing after 20-30 minutes, then I lay down by her on my bed.

I think it helps because it gradually eases her out of it.

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P.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I read a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution". The book suggests that you slowly back off of what you're doing. So rock her until she's almost asleep, but not totally asleep and then put her down. That way she will learn to put herself to sleep gradually on her own. The book obviously will provide a lot more detail.

My 6 month old went from 4 night wakings down to 1 using this method, but we just got an ear infection and we're starting all over again.

Good Luck.

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S.

answers from Appleton on

Have you tried having someone else put her to bed?
My son went through the same thing, only I would lay in bed with him or have to sit and rub his back. Somenights this process would take an hour.
I finally said enough, we changed the bedtime routine. Swapped snack and book reading around and said my goodnights to him downstairs and let my husband take him up to bed.
We did this for a month and it solved the problem, now I can take him up give a kiss and hug and I'm out the door, if I lingure he will con me into rubbing his back or foot, and we have to start all over.

Hope this helps.

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L.S.

answers from Appleton on

Hi S.. I found that a consistant routine helps tremendously!! Once we're done with our routine, I put him to bed awake. To get my little one to fall asleep on his own, I started with 5 minutes of letting him cry (me not in the room, night light on and soothing classical music on softly) and increased it after that. I would go in, comfort him (without picking him up) and then walk out and wait a bit longer than 5 minutes, increasing the time after that. It took about a week, but now he goes to bed and the longest he'd cry (when he's not feeling well) is 10 minutes. We did have one set back, and couldn't figure out why. But after moving bedtime back 20 minutes (from 8 to 820), everything went into place again. We are now finding that the amount of time he naps, even though it's not any longer than normal, is beginning to effect bedtime stuff. So I'm actually going to start shortening his naps during the day so he can get to bed on time.
Hope this helps you!!

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B.

answers from Minneapolis on

S., my salvation was a book called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. It was fantastic. We started using the method when my daughter was just 1 - within a couple of weeks she was falling asleep on her own and sleeping through the night. Prior to that it would take 30 to 45 minutes of rocking and then at least four times up each night - sometimes for four hours at a stretch. The book really works, and there is no crying involved! Good Luck. B..

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A.S.

answers from St. Cloud on

Well I am not really sure if this will help as I didn't have too much trouble with my lil girl at that age with going to sleep but I always had music in her room playing very quietly from the time she was born also a story and a routine helps also. I have had friends with this same problem adn these things helped them so maybe it will help.. I hope it does.

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P.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I feel for ya, my daughter has always been dependent on my husband and I (mostly me) to fall asleep since she was an infant. She's almost 3. We've tried many things and nothing I find is fool proof and my heart just can't stand the saddness. Rest assured, she will sleep on her own eventually, and they're only young once, so try not to worry about it so much. If cuddling works, go with it for a while. I know it's hard because it's nice to have time at night after she has gone to sleep, but, like I said before...they're only young once. We try many things and almost everynight, it's a different trick. Most nights, what we do works. If we go through a bad stage, we just think to ourselves,...she's only young once and it'll be all too soon when she's moving out and we'll think back about how nice it was to cuddle her to sleep at night when she was just a baby. Someday, she won't need you around, so enjoy it when you can get it, even if it's not exactly when you want it, like at bed time. What works for us is using her things as leverage. "If you stay in bed, you can have your night light on, but if I have to come in here again, I'm going to turn it off." She only has pushed the issue a few times. We always give her a second chance. Afterall, that's what toddlers too, they test. After just a little crying and re-explaining how it works, we give her that chance. Luckily for us, she hasn't pushed it any further.We use her nightlight, her flashlight, keeping the door open/closed, her fan on, etc. We threaten to turn off or shut the door if she can't stay in bed and be quiet. Then, she eventually gets bored and falls asleep. I've given her a few minutes of cuddling too, she may just need some cuddletime to relax a bit too. Good luck...and try not to worry too much. :)

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V.

answers from Minneapolis on

You are going to have to let her cry longer than 20 minutes - it is hard to do, believe me, I know. When we were 'training' our son, I had to leave the house, sit outside, go for a walk - let dad listen to the monitor...this didn't last forever, eventhough it felt like complete torture at the time... She will probably cry a long time in the first couple of days and then will gradually taper off. Remember, you are doing her a favor in the end - she will be sleeping 12 solid hours once you get her to fall to sleep on her own. And, you will have your evenings... My son still sleeps 12 straight hours and he is almost 2.

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D.F.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi S., with my daughter i try to give her a nice warm bath and then feed her that usually worked for me, if not i would try music in her room.good luck D.

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J.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Been there, done everything under the sun! :)

Our little guy is now almost 3, and we've just finally found a bedtime routine that works. The key was consistency (as another mom mentioned), and consistency is tough but totally worth it. We start the routine around the same time every night - about 6:30 he goes up for bath. We do bath every night because it helps him sleep better. After bath with Dad, he gets jammies on, picks out 3 stories and he & I settle into his beanbag to read. We usually read the same 3 stories every night, then we sing the same 3 songs. Yes, it gets old after awhile, but it's worth it! After I sing 3 songs, he gets to turn off his lamp, turn on the sleepy music on his CD player (I use Celine Dion's "Miracle" because he likes it) and I head downstairs. Dad checks on him after 10 minutes, I check on him 10 minutes later. Then he's on his own. Usually when I check on him, he's asleep.

Now, he's almost 3. When he was younger, we kind of had the same routine, but we checked on him more frequently. At 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10 minutes. He rarely cried, but even if he did or still does, we wait until it's time to go up. He figured out that we would come up if he cried loud enough, so we finally just had to stick to our guns about when we checked on him. After a few weeks it started coming together. Now he puts himself to sleep on his own every night, and most nights he sleeps through the night in his own bed. He still comes down to our room anywhere between 2 & 5 am, but he's making progress.

Good luck, and stick with it! It's tough, but worth it!

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