1-2-3 Magic - Orlando, FL

I liked 1-2-3 magic, but I LOVED "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

Here's an excerpt, if this fits your child, go get this book today!

"The word that distinguishes spirited children from other children is more. They are normal children who are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive, and uncomfortable with change than other children. All children possess these characteristics, but spirited kids possess them with a depth and range not available to other children. Spirited kids are the Super Ball in a room full of rubber balls. Other kids bounce three feet off the ground. Every bounce for a spirited child hits the ceiling.

It’s difficult to describe what it is like to be the parent of a spirited child. The answer keeps changing; it depends on the day, even the moment. How does one describe the experience of sliding from joy to exasperation in seconds, ten times a day. How does one explain the “sense” at eight in the morning that this will be a good day or a dreadful one.

The good ones couldn’t be better. A warm snuggle and sloppy kiss awaken you. He captures you with his funny antics as he stands in front of the dog, a glob of peanut butter clinging to a knife hidden in the palm of his hand, and asks, “Is Susie a rotten sister?” The dog listens attentively. The hand moves just slightly up and down like a magical wand. The dog’s nose follows the scent, appearing to nod in agreement. You can’t help laughing.

Profound statements roll from his mouth, much too mature and intel­lectual for a child of his age. He remembers experiences you’ve long since forgotten and drags you to the window to watch the raindrops, falling like diamonds from the sky. On the good days being the parent of a spirited child is astounding, dumbfounding, wonderful, funny, interesting, and interspersed with moments of brilliance.

The dreadful days are another story. On those days you’re not sure you can face another twenty-four hours with him. It’s hard to feel good as a parent when you can’t even get his socks on, when every word you’ve said to him has been a reprimand, when the innocent act of serving tuna casserole instead of the expected tacos incites a riot, when you realize you’ve left more public places in a huff with your child in five years than most parents do in a lifetime.

You feel weary, drained, and much too old for this even if you were only in your twenties when your child was born. It’s hard to love a kid who keeps you up at night and embarrasses you in shopping centers.

On the bad days being the parent of a spirited child is confusing, frustrating, taxing, challenging, and guilt inducing. You may wonder if you are the only parent with a kid like this, scared of what is to come in the teen years if you don’t figure out what to do now, in the early years."

Hi! You don't say how old your son is, but we bought this book and tried it and now (about 3 months into it!) it works great. We use it with a few different things, not time outs, cause that just didn't work real well with our son. What we do is we start a count, and if we get to 3, we take away a "star" from his chart. Our son will be 4 in July, and he is really motivated to get his "star chart" filled out every day that he will do ANYTHING not to lose one! So, we are kind of using a few different techniques that I read about and have figured out what works for us. I think that is the key, a little from here and a little from there. My son now sees me with 2 fingers up, and he gets it. I don't even have to say a word. It is great in public! Our daughter, who is 2, doesn't get this yet, but we will continue to try with her as well. They seem to figure things out by watching the older sibiling.

If you think a motivational or star chart will work for your son, we bought a sheet of 25 or so from Office Max and a book of like 700 stars that fit in the blocks for just under $5.00. You customize for your situations, and you can change it weekly once he has mastered something! Good luck with whatever you do. J.

I bought both of the books mentioned in the prior post, and for me, 1-2-3 Magic was much more practical and offered a very conrete method of getting my child to behave. Although I liked some of what I read in 'Raising Your Spirited Child', I didn't find that it was particularly applicable in our situation.
Our son is very active, bright and headstrong and really likes to test our limits. I find that if I employ the technique described in 1-2-3 Magic for eliminating unwanted behavior it works very well; the key however is consistency and getting both parents on board, if possible. My husband is not a fan of 1-2-3 Magic, but in spite of that I am able to use the technique effectively. I do find that if I slack off and don't use the method, my son's 'bad' behaviors will creep back up again.
Read both books and choose what seems appropriate for your situation.
Good luck!

Hi Courtney

I have had much success using 1-2-3 Magic!! I also bought "happiest Toddler on Block" but couldn't get into using the neanderthal language. My son (2 1/2) started "terrible two's" at around 15 mos. I starting using 1-2-3 & consistency is key!! ( I also do incorporate Super Nanny techniques - by apolozing after being on naught step and kiss & hug) I Rarely get to #3 now which is a releif, of course, some days I'm counting more than others!!! Good luck

K.

we use it
we rarely have to get to 3
& if we do, he goes to his room for a time-out
thankfully both dh & I 'use' this counting
and we both follow through when necessary
I also like charts but haven't found the nedd to do them yet- this post has chart info, too:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/4962288163155345409

HTH