Why Is Breastfeeding Considered "Strange" by a Few People?

Updated on May 29, 2008
C.M. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

My mom thinks I'm "weird" that I want to nurse my son past the age of one. My husbands' aunts think it's "gross" that I still nurse him at 8 months.

I think they're all nuts. BFing is the best for kids, why so much flack?

Also, I lost ALL my preggo weight. I'm as small as I was when I was in CoLLEGE! (this time not from binge drinking) Hooray! I'm a size nothing again. Thanks to the dairy on my chest, exhaustion and an organic diet.

So why do you all think, out in mamaworld, these baby boomers are giving me grief?

What can I do next?

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

Yeah, I breastfed my daughter until she was 2. I just told people to shut up. You will never change others and no matter what stats you give, they still will have hang ups when it comes to this issue. Something like, "Yeah... shut up." will work wonders. They will not bring it up again.

Yes, I am serious.

1 mom found this helpful

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T.W.

answers from Chicago on

I agree 100% with Adrsma. She said it beautifully. I think the issue isn't so much that they consider it "strange" but it seems that sometimes people think that b/c your choice is different from theirs, that somehow means you think they're wrong. Your choice to breastfeed for however long you choose isn't strange to me as long as there's no judgment towards those who either choose not to breastfeed or can't. I think it works both ways. I got just as much grief for formula feeding as mothers who breastfeed. Do what you feel is right and learn to ignore those who can't keep their opinions to themselves.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think the thing to keep in mind is the baby boomer generation were told that formula was the best thing for your baby and not breast feeding. Any one who did breast feed for any amount of time was an anomoly. Lucky for me both my mom and mother in law were anomolies. They were just taught something different than we were and as strange as it seems to us, it is just as strange to them. Respect them and their opinions although different.

You want another interesting discussion? Talk to any one prior to the 50's about Potty Training. That's a great forum for debate as well. :)

Or don't. Save your sanity for something else. :D

2 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

You're doing great, and I think you know it (though not all of us lost the weight the way you describe), but it sounds as if the comments still bother you. One thing you have to bear in mind is that mothers from the '50s, '60s and '70s who did not breastfeed may feel that by doing it, you are implying that they did something wrong. It may be that you actually feel that way, but since their chance is gone, it's kind of unkind to emphasize that. I had that problem all the time with my own mother. I just kept doing what I was doing and saying it was best for the baby. It was hard not to say, "You had your chance, now it's my turn," but worth it for the healthy kids I got and the much lighter and less complicated diaper bag I had!! And since my mother now tells people that she thinks I'm a good mom, I think it got through somehow.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.

answers from Chicago on

Your post is too funny and reminded me that before my son was born I had to sit down with my parents and my in-laws for a big serious BFing discussion. They were surprisingly supportive, considering none of their collective 5 children had been BFed (i.e all bottle babies). Many women of our mothers' generation were genuinely DISCOURAGED from breastfeeding by their doctors. My mom's doc even put her on DIET PILLS when she pregnant with me. It's basically just us knowing A LOT more than them. Hey, our moms didn't even know they shouldn't smoke or drink when they were pregnant. Just keep throwing those "it's best for babies and best for mommies" facts back at them. Eventually they will catch on or learn to mind thein own business.

Congrats on getting rid of the baby weight and keep up the good work.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.

answers from Chicago on

That's ridiculous! Keep nursing. There's nothing gross about it. You are doing the best thing for your son. I just ignored the idiotic statements people would say to me when I nursed my daughter past the age of 12 months.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.

answers from Chicago on

Dont' forget that the 1970's was an all-time LOW in breastfeeding in this country. Most of our moms didn't BF us so they just don't understand. Don't let it get to you - of course you're doing the right thing! I am lucky enough to have a mom who DID BF us three kids in the '70s and she has been an amazing teacher and supporter. I wish ALL moms had this experience.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.G.

answers from Chicago on

My husband's family is the same way, but thankfully, my husband is supportive. Anytime I get a snide remark about breastfeeding, I retort with facts, like the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until 2, that babies grow up healthier, etc. They get tired of me "educating them" and stop making comments. It is totally a cultural and misguided way of thinking for them. My aunti is a missionary in Burkina Faso in Africa and they breast feed there way up until 5 or 7 years old or whatever. Also, the breasts are not sexual organs, the thigh is....they actually walk around bare chested and the children play with their breasts, but if the women expose thier thighs between the knee and the buttock, then they are "loose women"!! Funny how that different cultures would have such different values!!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

That generation just didn't breastfeed much. So they are not used to it and think it's different than what they did. My husband's mother had five kids and never nursed one of them! I was worried my husband would be against prolonged nursing, but now that our daughter is 15 months, my husband still proudly brags to anyone who will listen about how great it is that our daughter still nurses.

And yes--I'm thinner than I've been in years. I eat junk and a lot of it, but my metabolism is amazing. It's a win-win all around. By the way, the World Health Org. recommends nursing until TWO years old!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

Personally I don't think breastfeeding is strange.

What I do think is strange is the weird power struggle between those who breastfeed and those who don't. Who really cares what you do with your child, even if it is different than what I do with my child?

Of course that's not only breastfeeding, it is also feeding solids, sleep, parenting philosophies, and on and on and on.

You want to breastfeed your kid? Great! But if someone else does not want to breastfeed their kid, then they shouldn't get grief for it either. You want to formula feed your kid? Great! But if someone else does not want to formula feed their kid, then they shouldn't get grief for it either. No one is a better mother nor are they making a better child for choosing one or the other.

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Because they have hang-ups about breasts. They don't view breasts as the best source of food for your child. They view breasts as playthings and sex objects.

Kudos to you for not quitting!

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P.D.

answers from Chicago on

C. M:

YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB>>>> continue to follow your heart... it is their issue not yours.

P.,RLC, IBCLC
Breastfeeding and Parenting Solutions

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

Because they are uneducated about breastfeeding.

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

Oh, I feel your pain! I nursed my son until he was 13mo. old. My mom wasn't that supportive...she kept saying things like "are you sure he's getting enough," "do you think you need to supplement," "don't you want to use bottles so daddy can feed him too?" I honestly think (please, I don't mean to offend anyone) if our moms / aunts / grandmas, whatever, could not breastfeed their kids, for whatever reason, it's hard for them to see us succeed at doing it. I just told people like that all the facts about why BF'ing is the best nutrition for a baby & ignored all their unsupportive sayings. I highly doubt anyone that has nursed a baby would say it's gross to do at 8 mo. 8 mo. is still a baby!! Everyone has differing opinions on when is a good time to stop (for me, obviously it was 13mo.). 8 mo. is definitely not gross!!

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Don't let them get to you! You are obviously more educated on the benefits of breastfeeding for your baby. Times have changed and the more they learn about breastfeeding, the more benefits are discovered. You simply cannot get the same from formula no matter what the formula companies market. Some people cannot get over thinking of breasts as merely sexual objects (women included). My MIL kept saying that I should pump (I'm a SAHM) just so my son would take a bottle if I needed a break. Sorry but I don't see pumping as a break (pumped at work with my 1st baby for many months)! Good news is she did finally let up as he got older because I kept gently reminding her of the benefits and the obvious fact the my son was very healthy and doing well developmentally also helped (all without 1 single bottle, imagine that!). Honestly, the more you BF the more they will get used to it. I personally am very happy to see a mom breastfeeding her child because it's a beautiful thing and something so natural that it's too bad not everyone can see it for what it is...

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