You're Lucky You're Cute

As most people will tell you, living with a toddler is like living with a mini-dictator who runs the show and messes the home you try so hard to keep tidy. My husband and I spend our time playing with our son, answering the same question over and over, and of course, arguing with him over why he can’t have a candy at seven o’clock in the morning or why he can’t go outside to play in the freezing rain.

After one of our arguments, my son and I came to an agreement and the crying-like-I-burned-his-favourite-blanket fit stopped. I then turned to my son and said: “You’re lucky you’re cute.” And we carried on.

Wait, what?

At this time, I disrupted my husband’s quiet reading time by asking him if I had just told my son that he’s lucky he’s cute. My husband smiled and said “yes, yes you did”. And I did, too! What does that even mean? Am I implying that if he wasn’t cute we wouldn’t have made an agreement? If he wasn’t cute, I’d react differently when he threw a temper tantrum? If he wasn’t cute, I wouldn’t love him? I was shocked by this phrase I’ve said many times before today. For some reason, I’m just clueing into it now. I’m just now pondering what this phrase really means.

You see, I know the phrase is meant to be silly and cute. My intention isn’t to imply that if my son wasn’t cute he wouldn’t receive any love or care from us. That’s a ridiculous thought, as It’s just a saying. It’s not supposed to be harmful. But what does it teach my son?

You’re lucky you’re cute: He can do whatever he wants because he’s cute? I’ll give in because he’s cute? Is that why we see men and women out there using the “beauty-over-brains” technique to get what they want because they were taught growing up that because they’re cute, they shall receive. I can’t help but wonder if the phrase is a subliminal message of sorts.

It’s absurd to think that this endearing sentence could cause any harm, but we’re seeing the effects of words a lot more lately with the introduction of social media. We’re seeing more and more that the way one looks holds a lot of importance. Is that the kind of thought I want to instil in my son? Do I want him growing up thinking he can flash a cute smile and get what he wants? No, I don’t want that.

If we’re being honest, I’ll confess that I have used this technique before. I’ve flashed a smile and did some flirting to skip the line or avoid getting in trouble. In fact, I used this method once to get out of a speeding ticket and it worked! Did that happen because someone told me when I was a child that I was lucky I was cute? I have no doubt that anyone who would have said that to me as a child did not intend it to mean that that’s all I have going for me. It was intended to be sweet and complimentary. But does that make it okay?

Yes, my son is cute and he gets away with things sometimes. Is it because he’s cute? Not so much. It’s more because we are tired and had one too many temper tantrums that day. Today’s comment about being lucky he’s cute was intended to be endearing. Ultimately, we were letting the lesser of the two evils at that moment slide. Moving forward though, I will do my best to keep this phrase out of our home as I don’t want my son thinking he can flash his adorable smile to get what he wants.



Karen Szabo is the mother of a toddler and is certain that 1 is the magical number for her and her husband. After years of searching, she’s found her own identity through writing. What free time she may have is dedicated to jotting ideas down, creating articles, and working on her blog “The Antsy Butterfly.”. She is a contributor for The Mighty and has written for Sunshine Spoils Milk.