You Can't Catch a "Divorce," But You Can be a Jerk

In elementary school we used to play this game; we would pick which ever child was unpopular at the time, and say they had Cooties. Usually, that kid wound up being me. (I never said I was on the inner circle.) The point of the game was that whoever the infected person touched now had Cooties.

Recently, I feel like I’ve been touched by the divorce Cootie.

This isn’t my first rodeo, I’ve been through this before. My first time around, there was embarrassment. I was reluctant to tell my married friends. I thought they would think I was a failure. In reality, I had failed. I had failed at keeping my marriage together. For as much as that might have been a shared failure, because it takes two to tango, I was a part of the two.

I’m not the type of person to put my business in the street. Only the closest in my inner circle really knew there was trouble in paradise. They were understanding and supportive. What I wasn’t prepared for was the the reaction from my married friends.

For as much as they, “understood” and were “supportive”, they disappeared. They disappeared like I had Cooties.1.

I tried to rationalize their behavior, I told myself, it’s not me, they just don’t know what to do or what to say. Sort of the same situation when someone dies. No one really knows what to say other than to bring food to your house and clean.

I would have loved if they did anyone of these five things:

1. Throw a Divorce Party – We throw engagement parties and baby showers, in some instances this could be a life event worth celebrating.

2. Have a House Warming – A good idea to help stock up the newly divorced’s wine cabinet and replace all the stuff they lost in the divorce.

3. Have a Girls Night Out – Having some fun with friends is a good way to remember there are people in the world that still care about you.

4. Go Shopping – Anything to get the divorced person out of the house. I prefer shopping and people watching.

5. Anything Athletic – Having a gym or walking buddy is not only a good way to beat depression but it fulfills a social outlet too.

They didn’t do any of those things, or even come over and bring food. I felt like I was being quarantined for fear I would start a Yellow Fever outbreak.

Divorce isn’t contagious, or is it? Did their subconscious worries hold water? Would my friends’ husbands really think, “If Michelle is doing it, why shouldn’t we”? According to the Guardian, they may be right. They claim that because of something called “divorce clustering”, if your friends get divorced, your chances go up by 75%.

If this is true, then Divorce really is contagious. Which makes me the biggest Cootie of them all, being an almost two time Divorcee. Don’t worry, I have no intention of becoming the next Liz Taylor. So run away before your spouses get ideas.

If you are divorced, have you felt the prejudice? If you aren’t, do you avoid other divorcees? Be honest.

Michelle D. is a graduate of the George Washington University where she studied many things that never prepared her for motherhood. When she’s not chasing twin toddlers, a kindergartener, or catching up on the latest tween drama, she’s blogging. Scattered Wrecks showcases her short stories, social commentary and advice. The blog chronicles the trials and triumphs of managing a blended family and dealing with ex-spouses. Michelle lives in Northern Virginia with her three children. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest.