Who Made the Mommy Rules?

I’ve rarely broken a rule in my entire life.

No detentions. Never a grade lower than a ‘B.’ And, unlike my hubby, I never had to sit in a special chair or suffer through surprise parent conferences because I wasn’t doing my homework. Type A-rule follower-teacher’s pet-goody two shoes-whatever-you-want-to-call-it. I was that.

Until I became a mom.

I broke the first rule of motherhood on day 1. Thou shall breastfeed. I tried. I cried. It just wasn’t for me. A kind nurse whom I will never forget asked me why I was so upset and looked so guilty when I asked for formula. She asked, “Who told you that you had to breastfeed?” In between sobs, I muttered, “SOCIETY.”

Now, I know that I made the right choice for our family and surprise, surprise … my kids turned out okay. I respect and envy my girlfriends who have made breastfeeding work. I also LOVE them because they’ve never once made me feel like a bad mom because of it. But it’s definitely a rule I broke, and I’m reminded every time I pick up a parenting magazine.

I also feed my kids soup out of a can.
I don’t shop at Whole Foods.
I’d order take-out every night if I could.
And, I once let my daughter sleep an entire night in her own blueberry vomit because I ignored her cries and fell back asleep.

Oh, and I lost my kid at the ice cream social for the school at which I am the guidance counselor. Lovely.

The list could go on. And on.

The point is, who made these rules that I’m judging myself by every day? That WE are judging ourselves by every day?

Last year, I cried at work because I didn’t sign my daughter up in time for her swimming and dance class. I actually sobbed on the phone to some guy at the arts center about how I am a working mom and I cannot get my daughter to a 2:30 p.m. class . . . and that I NEED the Saturday class. To be a good mom, of course. He actually felt so bad for me that he called the instructor and she “allowed” me to register.

Instead of being embarrassed by this story, I’m sharing it with all of you. Maybe you ordered pizza tonight like I did. Maybe your kids ate condensed soup. Or maybe your little guy is running around the house naked right now, refusing to go to sleep.

We’re not all that different from each other.

Nicole is a former English teacher turned school counselor during the day. After her kids are tucked in and asleep at night, she loves to read, catch up on her favorite shows, and write for her blog, From Cleveland. WIth Love..