When to Start Weaning

Six months? Twelve months? The month before kindergarten orientation? The “right” time to wean your child off breast milk is one of those parenting topics that many people have firmly-held beliefs about, most of which you should ignore. All that matters is determining that it’s the right time for you and for your baby. We talked to a lactation expert and a mom who’s been there, to get some insight into how to determine that the time is right — and what to do next.

Timing is Everything

If you make it to six months exclusively breastfeeding, you can wean at any time past that point without guilt. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively up to six months and providing both breast milk and solid food up until a child’s first birthday.

The AAP does recommend continuing past that point only if you and your baby both want to. (Of course, for many moms it’s just not feasible — either physically or practically — to breastfeed past 12 months, or even past six months. In that case, though, you don’t have to deal with the question of when to wean.)

Ideally, your child will be the one to decide that it’s time to wean. “They let you know when they are ready as they gradually cut down on frequency of feeding,” says Leigh Anne O’Connor, a Board Certified Lactation Consultant. Your baby may turn away from your breast (or bottled expressed milk) or just seem less motivated to nurse when he’s ready to wean.

Even if you don’t plan to wean until your baby’s first birthday, realize that it’s normal for babies to lose interest in nursing before 12 months. If your baby seems disinterested in nursing at 8 or 9 months, take it as a sign that he’s ready to move to exclusively solid foods.

How to Get Started

The key to a smooth weaning process is patience. Some infants or young toddlers seem to decide suddenly that they’re finished nursing, and never look back. But for most children — and their moms — the end of breastfeeding is bittersweet, and weaning shouldn’t be rushed.

“It is important to go slow for the mom so that she does not become engorged or experience a dramatic hormonal shift that can impact mood and possibly trigger depression or anxiety,” Leigh Anne said.

If you’re weaning a young infant, start by eliminating the occasional feeding — say, once every few days, just to get him used to it. Gradually eliminate more feedings, substituting solid food and other liquids, until you reach zero. As you nurse less frequently, your milk production should slow down and eventually stop.

Weaning an older child has its own challenges, but the biggest benefit is that you can explain the coming change to your child. That’s what Amy Jackson Martin did when she recently finished nursing her son at 23 months.

“About a week before we ended our nursing relationship, I let him nurse as long as he wanted one to two times a day, but then all other requests I would tell him ‘You can have it for 10 seconds on each side,’” she says. “I would count to 10 slowly and then say ‘let go!’ with a smile on my face. He learned quickly and thought it was fun and also kind of funny.”

He still occasionally asked to nurse, Amy says, but she would explain that the milk was all gone. “His requests have gone down to only a few times a week and he doesn’t get sad or upset,” she says. “I just help him find something else to play with.”



Kathryn Walsh is a freelance writer specializing in parenting and travel topics. Her work has appeared on mom.me, TheBump.com, and USAToday.com.