The Dance Recital

Ah, the dance recital. That wonderful day that comes every June where friends and family get to watch what your child has done throughout the year. During the year, we bring them to class and hope they are learning something about the art of dance.

Our kids come out of the studio happy and chatting with their dance friends. Towards the end of the school year, we are presented with sparkly, glittery, frilly costumes that we pray will fit despite having to send the measurements 5 months ago. And let’s face it, 5 months for toddlers and preschoolers may as well be a lifetime at the rate they grow! There’s practicing with no mirrors, finding your special spots and finally the dress rehearsal. It’s the first time we get to see the full routines complete with costume and hair. Cameras and phones are ready to go. Curtains are up, lights are low. Now they dance!

My daughter’s recital is this coming weekend and I’m beyond excited.

This will complete her 2nd year of dance. As someone who grew up dancing from the age of 3 and comes from a dance family, I was ecstatic when my daughter expressed her love for dance. Of course, I hoped she would, but never pushed it on her. I also hoped that she would pick up the rhythms and choreography with ease. So as I watched her on stage during the rehearsal, phone recording in one hand, camera snapping away in the other, I was so proud.

Okay, now for some straight up honesty. While I was beaming with pride, I noticed there were parts where she wasn’t looking at the audience or her teacher giving cues in the front row. Her eyes started to wander to her friend next to her, then to other dancers waiting in the wings. This caused her to miss a beat or 5.

I need to talk to her about this, I thought. She needs to pay attention. As her little trio came off the stage, I told all the girls how great they did. We sat and watched a couple of the other performances and I leaned over and pointed out how the girls on stage were paying attention to their cues and how they had big smiles on their faces. My little one smiled and nodded.

Another group went up and as they performed I heard a mother telling her daughter who had just been on stage that she could’ve done better, that her arms were wrong during one move and she had no expression. I slowly turned to see the pair. The little girl, she looked like she was about 6 or 7, sat slumped next to her mom and listening to the critiques. She looked defeated and ashamed.

That’s when it hit me. We signed up for dance because there was a love of dance, a desire to learn and the hope of friendships that would await.

The recital was the shining moment, the moment these kids got to proudly show their friends and family what they’ve done. We all want our children to excel, but isn’t the lesson here to try your best and do what you love with passion? It isn’t about being perfect. It’s about having fun.

Wow, I wanted to kick myself. My daughter is 4! She loves to dance, loves her dance friends, adores her teacher and loves going into the studio. That is more than enough for me. Her happiness about dance, not her perfection at it.

So what if she missed a few steps! She rocked it out! She sang parts of the song she loved. I can’t ask for any more than that.

If I could take back any sort of statement that came off as criticism, I would. I want to nourish her interest in dance, not destroy it by her associating it with Mommy’s disappointment.

So this weekend, the curtains will come up. The lights will go down. Spotlight is on, music is pumping. Forget the stress or expectation of a “perfect” performance. Revel in the things you love….the fun music, the frilly costume, being with your friends. And just dance your heart out, baby girl!

We are so proud of you!


Kristen is the mommy behind the groove at Mommy’s New Groove, a blog about mom life. When she’s not writing, she can be found singing Disney songs with her 3 year old daughter, experimenting in the kitchen or teaching Zumba Fitness® classes. A (somewhat) reformed control freak and master multi-tasker, Kristen is learning that this crazy mom life is constantly evolving and all you can do is find your ever-changing new groove. You can follow Kristen on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.