The Age of Collecting
I was officially initiated into my eldest’s collecting stage one random morning in the not-so-distant past. There was nothing particularly special about this weekday, and would ordinarily not have been worth mentioning, but for one fateful choice- my fortuitous decision to do some laundry.
If memory serves me correctly, I had actually undertaken quite a few loads of laundry that morning, but all it took was one. One load to remind me that no stage of childhood ever lasts too long and that many of them shirk moderation in their emergence in favor of an unanticipated trial by fire. And that day, even the briefest of glances at my final, scarlet-hued, load could leave any doubt as to the nature of this particular initiation.
Left behind in the dryer were the freshly laundered remnants of a red crayon wrapper, their dry and crackled appearance all the proof I needed to confirm what I already suspected, to understand what had just happened.
What had happened was that I’d missed all the signs.
I’d failed to tap into my mommy sense and give the burgeoning number of things my son had begun stuffing into his pockets of late, the attention they deserved. I’d neglected to see one very important thing coming.
My son had entered the Age of Collecting.
It wasn’t just the trappings of the Rose Art variety he’d been squirreling away either. In that moment, as I stood thinking back on recent weeks with newfound awareness, I recalled all the pebbles and sticks he’d harvested at the park, the countless bits of sun-bleached shells courtesy of Long Island’s north shore beaches, the innumerable scraps of gift wrapping paper, shiny bits of craft paper, pieces of felt from school, and a myriad other things whose values were apparently highly subjective.
Oh, what I wouldn’t have given in that moment to have been able to trade in this epiphany for a stain-free load instead. To have dedicated more than just a fleeting thought to this new affinity for found things before this wake-up call did it for me. Taking stock of everything that clearly appealed to him was suddenly laughably easy. I formulated an inventory within seconds.
It was the meaning behind this passion that eluded me.
Was it an appreciation for all manner of small and collectible?
Was it nostalgia that rendered his pockets filled to the brim?
Admiration?
After that day, I took note of his every stockpiling move, looking for clues that would help me understand him better. It was actually not unlike my own habit of saving and tucking away bits of memorabilia for scrapbooking purposes. It appeared as though my little man was attempting to hold onto items that represented special memories to him, items that now embodied these moments by virtue of the fact that they were simply- there.
I’ve heard multiple explanations from countless sources regarding this bout of miniature hoarding, from kids trying to gain a sense of control to their trying to replace something they’ve lost with these treasures. But ultimately, I’ve decided that a concrete explanation in this case is a bit overrated.
It makes him happy, plain and simple.
It makes him happy to tuck away a matching set of tiny twigs for an impromptu sword fight with his brother later, to present me with a beautifully wilted flower that he’d pocketed just for me, and to otherwise tend to his collections in any way he sees fit.
Who knows how long this stage will stick around, or what the one after it will entail. All I know is that, with a few precautions set in place, this one isn’t so bad at all. It’s fascinating, actually, this birds eye view of what your little is drawn to and what they do with this connection. So my conclusion has been to just roll with it. I think this is the best thing I can do to honor my boy’s autonomy and independence. Whatever floats his boat…or should I say, whatever fills his pockets.
Sara & Kat are two sisters with a passion for the written word and the captured image. They’ve got a penchant for wandering and food is their soft spot. Together they run the Long Island lifestyle blog, The Mama Bears. You can also follow them on Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
